If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Hurt
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey well I just fell so lonely right now I hardly got any friends I got a couple but none I can trust and every time I get close to someone I always say to them promise me you won't end up haiting me and leave me they say I promise but then they always end up hating me it happend to me 4 times now I was friend with this boy but we were just friends but he wanted to kiss me so I said okay but just a quick one and I told him I don't want to get hurt he said you won't promise so we stared kissing I could stop kissing him then we stared touching and everything I liked it but never had any butterfly's when we kiss so that the last time we would but then when I got home he said don't speak to me again and everything and that made me really upset I miss him and one day he will speak to me next day he will say don't speak to me again and there was this other boy we went out for a week then we kissed we had a good day but I got home and got a text you saying you not my type from him and that made me upset and now we hardly talk all I really want is that one person who won't levae me and am always on my own now at college like no one speaks to me now and I dont know what I done wrong am always nice to everyone I just been getting hurt far to much I dunno what to do am always felling sad and I cry like everyday 😥
0
Comments
I'm really sorry with what you're going through. It seems really tough feeling alone at college. It also sounds like you have been mistreated by some people who you considered to be your friend. Do you think that sounds fair? It's really hard when you feel like you are being used and treated that way. I wasn't quite clear when you say "looking for one person" if you are talking about a boyfriend or just a really good friend to be there for you. Have you ever thought about joining a club or picking up a new hobby so that you can make new friend at college? Joining something may help you getting yourself out there and meeting more people.
Sounds like you're going through a tough time at college, it's understandable that you want a good friend to rely on at this time in your life. I agree with Greg's point about finding a hobby; having something to break up your weeks at college could help you get through those final 9 weeks. If you're struggling to find a club to join near you, how about having a think about the kind of activities you enjoy? As it's coming up to Easter, there might be more holiday activities and weekend courses available at adult education centres or through your local council :chin:. Perhaps you could take a look on your local council's website to see what events are coming up.
When I read what you've written here, it makes me feel that you're expecting a lot out of new relationships. You say that you ask someone to promise that they won't leave you as soon as they get close. I'm afraid that no one can make that promise. We can say that we care about someone and would like to stay with them, but we never know what might happen in the future. It might feel like a lot of pressure for the other person to make that promise.
It sounds like there are some things that you really need in your life, like for someone to be there to make things feel better? Sometimes when we have really strong needs, they can put big pressures on new relationships. The more you can find a way to fill some of those holes in other places, the more space you'll have to make and enjoy new friendships and romantic relationships.
It sounds like there might be some things in your life that are really weighing you down, and you would like some ongoing support with. Maybe you could talk more on here, or in chat? You could also call SupportLine to have a talk through things.
New relationships take time to build, they grow well with some care, but also with some space. Think of growing a plant - it needs you to water it, but it also needs a roomy pot and plenty of air so that it can grow for itself.
Also don't mistake friendliness with friendship. There are many people - as you have experienced - that fake friendship and trustworthiness with friendliness, but their real motives are just a quick fuck and if you don't put out they lose interest and if you put out they probably lose interest too. This is neither a good approach for friendship nor for romance. Those are fake people and you need to realize the early warning signs when they get pushy that those are not going to be friends, no matter what.
Truth be told, I think you exhibit a very exploitable weakness with the "please don't leave me, I need you to not hurt me."-shtick. People with bad intentions prey on things like that.
Look for hobbies and find like-minded people. Maybe start to do some sports. It's not just good for your body but also for the mind. Working out is a great mood raiser. I think you are trying to force yourself out of your misery with shortcuts instead of actually doing things that are satisfactory to you and let the rest just fall in place by itself.
I think it's a really good idea that you've taken on everyone's advice to look elsewhere to build friendships, friendships can be built anywhere, social clubs, parties, bars, even online. Just remember you are never alone in this world and I'm sure there's plenty of people who would love to be your friend :cool:
Have you tried turning to family members at all, siblings or cousins that you may have close in age? Let us know