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I don't wanna make a mistake help
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I split from the love of my life a year ago and have had a horrible time getting over herMy friend has had me helping redo his home and he has a girlfriend. She is probably the most thoughtful sweetest good hearted person I have ever encountered. He's been going to work and her and I as well as her 4yr old have been spending all my t of time together. Her daughter does not like him she cries when he talks to her. He plays with her too rough and she's scared of him. He over does the punishments and is way too hard on her. I have grown quite fond of both of them as of late. His girl and I have never been inappropriate not even for a second. I noticed about 2 weeks ago that I was developing feelings for his girl. I did not act on them as a matter a fact I went home for awhile to think. I decided to just distance myself from her. Well my first trip back she told me she was very unhappy with him and wants to leave and wished she could find someone like me, well I spilled the beans She expressed that she wants me and I know I want her. He tells me he's done with her and I know he's been cheating on her. We haven't acted on our f slings yet, but we r gonna. R we making a mistake? I'm confused
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Tough to say. First and foremost, you have to wait until she is completely separated from him. She has to do it, because she does not want to live with him anymore, not because there is a quick bf-swap opportunity. Do not engage in anything as long as he is in the picture. Second, I would take a break, maybe a small vacation to determine if you are not just going through this, because you feel lonely.
Other than that I got nothing. It is an easy situation to be in.
It does seem like a tough situation that you are in. From what you have wrote, it sounds like you are having conflicting feelings because you don't want to hurt your friends feelings. Was he trying to help you get over your relationship by letting you help him redo his house? It sounds like you are trying to balance what is more important to you, your friend or the girl. Do you think your previous relationship and breakup is having an effect on how you feel right now? I agree with StrubbleS about taking a vacation because that might help you clear your mind so you can make the proper decision. Do you think the vacation will work for you?
What I neglect to put in previous post is that my wife and above aforementioned friend had cheated years back which led to the demise of our marriage. Does this have any impact on my decision
Seems like you're in a really tough situation here, that has the potential to turn messy. Although your friend cheated with your wife years back, I don't think you should allow this to influence your decision. It would be better to base it on how you feel about this woman and how she feels about you, and if you can see a future together. Do you think your feelings for your friend's partner have anything to do with him cheating with your wife? Are you still hurt/angry with him about this?
I agree with Greg and StrubbleS; take a break if you can and allow yourself some time to think about what you really want. Consider your feelings for this woman and perhaps weigh this up against how you'd feel if you lost your friend. Also, as StrubbleS said, it would probably best to leave ant decision making until your friend and his partner have ended their relationship, if you think this is on the cards.
man, this unfolds like a revenge fan fiction plot.