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Autism doesn't define my life
louisa982
Posts: 294 The Mix Regular
My name is Louisa. I'm 17 years old and autism has changed my life.
As a young child i was always different. I didn't have many friends, i was very stubborn and i had my own unique way of doing things. I was just known as " a naughty child" and would be punished and treated like one. Throughout my whole school life i was bullied and i didn't really register it too much when i was really young but When i reached the age of about 10 it started to really bother me. I would find myself crying and writing down reasons as to why people didn't like me. I wanted this to change so when i was looking at secondary schools i choose one that no one else was going to.A new start i thought, new friends i thought. Well i was wrong, so wrong. I tried to make friends but i just wasn't very good at it at all. The bullying started straight away and i just found it so hard to ignore.At first i was running away , then i started getting mouthy back and then quite physically and hitting or throwing something at the people who were nasty to me. And in year 8 i started self harming because i just couldn't cope. My mum saw the scars and became worried so tried to get counselling for me. But it was really with no joy. I struggled to talk to the lady, kept staring at the floor or things in the room and would just act childish. One time my mum sat in with one session and i "embarrassed" her so she had a go at me and it made me very angry because i just couldn't act normally.
During all this, home life was shit as well and my brother was constantly being abusive towards me physically and verbally. No one really took this seriously because my brother is younger than me- and even writing this i'm sounding pathetic to myself. But he is very strong and large so when he was standing on me and kneeling on my back , i couldn't move and it hurt! So somehow the social services got involved with my family when i was about 13 (which really was bullshit) and i had to go to meet another lady in another place to "talk". It was very frustrating and also weakened my relationship with my mum because she was the one who had to make me. Of course having all of this at home, plus school, plus the bullying and everything online too! (Im not going into detail, if i explained my whole life we would be here years) It was a very difficult time for me and my only coping method was lashing out on myself and others.
Finally after several "talks" and meetings with stupid patronizing people (My god they talked to me like i was 5) i finally was diagnosed at 14 with aspergers otherwise known as high functioning autism. I can remember when i was told being very confused but also just like a large weight was lifted up from my shoulders. I didn't know much about aspergers so i did some research into it and just saw how obvious it was. I cant explain very well how I'm different for others as it is my normal but it does explain a lot of things and to why i acted like i did.
Being diagnosed also made me quite angry because if only i had been diagnosed at a younger age i think i would of been able to get a lot more support and help and some of the things that happened to me , may not have happened.But it is how it is and i'm not going to let being different define me. Sometimes i just feel hopeless and just want to be "Normal" but then i realise there is no normal and that being autistic can be a good thing as well. It can cause issues as some people don't understand autism and can sometimes find me rude or a bit blunt and it does upset me that i upset people because normally i genuinely don't know why.
As for right now I am in college studying maths, accounts, business studies and drama&theatre studies. I want to train as an accountant and then go on to own a business. I stopped self harming and i now have a much nicer relationship with my mum and i love her so much.She is always there for me and helps me if i need it.I also haven't been bullied since i left school( 7 months!!) which feels amazing and I'm a lot happier!
My name is Louisa. I'm 17 years old and autism has changed my life But it will not define me and i will have a future!
(If any one else has autism/aspergers i would love to hear your story! Also if you are unsure what autism is or how it affects day to day life i will put some links in the comment box! )
As a young child i was always different. I didn't have many friends, i was very stubborn and i had my own unique way of doing things. I was just known as " a naughty child" and would be punished and treated like one. Throughout my whole school life i was bullied and i didn't really register it too much when i was really young but When i reached the age of about 10 it started to really bother me. I would find myself crying and writing down reasons as to why people didn't like me. I wanted this to change so when i was looking at secondary schools i choose one that no one else was going to.A new start i thought, new friends i thought. Well i was wrong, so wrong. I tried to make friends but i just wasn't very good at it at all. The bullying started straight away and i just found it so hard to ignore.At first i was running away , then i started getting mouthy back and then quite physically and hitting or throwing something at the people who were nasty to me. And in year 8 i started self harming because i just couldn't cope. My mum saw the scars and became worried so tried to get counselling for me. But it was really with no joy. I struggled to talk to the lady, kept staring at the floor or things in the room and would just act childish. One time my mum sat in with one session and i "embarrassed" her so she had a go at me and it made me very angry because i just couldn't act normally.
During all this, home life was shit as well and my brother was constantly being abusive towards me physically and verbally. No one really took this seriously because my brother is younger than me- and even writing this i'm sounding pathetic to myself. But he is very strong and large so when he was standing on me and kneeling on my back , i couldn't move and it hurt! So somehow the social services got involved with my family when i was about 13 (which really was bullshit) and i had to go to meet another lady in another place to "talk". It was very frustrating and also weakened my relationship with my mum because she was the one who had to make me. Of course having all of this at home, plus school, plus the bullying and everything online too! (Im not going into detail, if i explained my whole life we would be here years) It was a very difficult time for me and my only coping method was lashing out on myself and others.
Finally after several "talks" and meetings with stupid patronizing people (My god they talked to me like i was 5) i finally was diagnosed at 14 with aspergers otherwise known as high functioning autism. I can remember when i was told being very confused but also just like a large weight was lifted up from my shoulders. I didn't know much about aspergers so i did some research into it and just saw how obvious it was. I cant explain very well how I'm different for others as it is my normal but it does explain a lot of things and to why i acted like i did.
Being diagnosed also made me quite angry because if only i had been diagnosed at a younger age i think i would of been able to get a lot more support and help and some of the things that happened to me , may not have happened.But it is how it is and i'm not going to let being different define me. Sometimes i just feel hopeless and just want to be "Normal" but then i realise there is no normal and that being autistic can be a good thing as well. It can cause issues as some people don't understand autism and can sometimes find me rude or a bit blunt and it does upset me that i upset people because normally i genuinely don't know why.
As for right now I am in college studying maths, accounts, business studies and drama&theatre studies. I want to train as an accountant and then go on to own a business. I stopped self harming and i now have a much nicer relationship with my mum and i love her so much.She is always there for me and helps me if i need it.I also haven't been bullied since i left school( 7 months!!) which feels amazing and I'm a lot happier!
My name is Louisa. I'm 17 years old and autism has changed my life But it will not define me and i will have a future!
(If any one else has autism/aspergers i would love to hear your story! Also if you are unsure what autism is or how it affects day to day life i will put some links in the comment box! )
1
Comments
http://www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/autism-and-asperger-syndrome-an-introduction/gender-and-autism/women-and-girls-on-the-autism-spectrum.aspx
http://iancommunity.org/cs/simons_simplex_community/autism_in_girls
https://www.senmagazine.co.uk/articles/articles/senarticles/is-autism-different-for-girls
http://www.autismspectrum.org.au/sites/default/files/PDFuploads/Girls%20and%20women%20on%20the%20autism%20spectrum.pdf
Like you, I have Autism. But I was diagnosed when I was 23. In between being diagnosed, I was diagnosed with OCD and depression twice.
Unfortunately, because I was diagnosed later in life, (there are reasons behind this) a lot of so called "professionals" who work with disabled people, do claim I either don't really have Autism and actually have anxiety (I've never been diagnosed with anxiety and have a lot of issues which can#'t be explained by anxiety) or it can't be that bad. Yet, talk to anyone who really knows me and actually knows what Autism is, (one person being my sister who has a masters in Psychology) and they will tell you different.
From experience, a lot of people have this idea what Autism is and because I don't meet their idea of what Autism is, (I'm female - we're different to males) I don't have it. But those people can't explain my communication issues (I have a habit of taking things the wrong way) or the other issues I have. One of those people was my so-called "support worker" (she thought it was ok to take me to noisy places and give me 30 minutes notice) and a woman who works with disabled people at the local college. (she claims her father may have Autism and because "I'm nothing like him, I possibly can't have it")
I strongly suspect that at least one of my friends is Autistic. Either that or his wife is right and he's just crazy...
Thankfully for me, I did have the backing of my GP.
Nice to see you on the boards after talking to you in chat a bit
I don't really have anything to offer, which Melian hasn't already said. Completely agree that ore awareness is needed, especially in terms of diagnosing girls. From a professional point of view, the changes in how SEN or children with social/emotional needs are supported in schools concerns me. Statemented children and young people are being moved to personalised health care plans from IEPs, which leads to the danger of the academic and social life of schooling being overlooked, as the plan focuses purely on the effect a condition has on physical health and development.
Prior to teaching, I worked with a charity which supported a high percentage of ASD young people. I really admire you for being open and honest about your experiences. You never know, in the future that may be something which can help other young people who are in your position.
*hug*
That's fantastic, well done you
I have other disabilities and was once told that (and having friends with children with the same conditions) sometimes this can and does help others.
I now have the fun task of trying to explain my Autism and the communication difficulties it's causing me to a friend of mine. He was a teacher, but he retired in 2000, which I do believe was just before HFA / Aspergers was really well known. Eurgh.
ASD is more prevalent in education now, but as has already been mentioned, the majority of newly diagnosed children are boys. There's a girl in my class who is so glaringly Aspergers, all senior leadership team are fighting for the autism outreach team to assess her, but are being told that the girl is probably just being difficult and not knowing how to socially interact due to her above average intelligence.
On the other hand, there are incidents of ASD being over diagnosed. Particularly quirky children are being labelled, when actually, they are just a bit different, have different interests or have set interests. ASD is not a quick answer of bad/different behaviour, in the same way that ADD or ADHD isn't a quick answer.
I do remember when I started the process of my diagnosis in 2012, that both the GP and psychiatrist both told me that I am harder to diagnose because of the other diagnoses I have. I do remember being told that they also rule out hearing and sight impairment (of which I have both) as the cause of the problems. I have a friend whose son is being assessed for Autism and because of the condition he has, he is more likely to have Autism. (1 in 20 children with his diagnosis have Autism, compared to 1 in 88 of the general population, I think it is) But again, because he's hearing and sight impaired, that has to be ruled out as the problem.
I did used to know someone who did claim he's Autistic because he's good at maths or something equally ridiculous.:rolleyes:
And for anyone wondering what happened in regards to me having to explain to my friend my communication difficulties:
There is a thread in Relationships and he did give me a bit of advice there.