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Does feeling jealous mean that you don’t trust your girlfriend/boyfriend?

Danny!Danny! modPosts: 560 Incredible Poster
If your partner is flirting with lots of people, going away with their ex, on an online dating site; most people would forgive you for feeling jealous.

But jealousy often isn’t that simple. Jealousy can happen even when your partner isn’t doing anything they, or you, think is “wrong”. Maybe your boyfriend/girlfriend:
  • Has a lot of friends of the sex they’re attracted to.
  • Spends a lot of time working/studying closely with one other person.
  • Is friends with an ex who happened a while ago, and you know there’s nothing going on now.
Does feeling jealous in these situations mean that you don’t trust your boyfriend/girlfriend, or does it mean something else?

Even if these things don’t make you jealous, can you understand why they might be difficult for other people?

If you want to find out more about jealousy and trust, including suggestions as to how to deal with them, check out this new tool.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mine works on buses and I don't trust him around with the other people :/
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think trust does fall into it just a little bit but for the most part there's obviously past problems that go an awful lot deeper which are bound to carry on into any future relationships. It's worth remembering that these past issues can be worked through almost completely though and then you can really tell whether your partner trusts you :yes:
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,235 Listening Ear
    angel wrote: »
    Mine works on buses and I don't trust him around with the other people :/

    Why's that, do you feel he might getting chatting to other women and maybe even flirt with them? Is he aware that you have this worry?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not told him yeti seen what he's like with other people ;( so he does flirt and he does it to my mum so I will have words with me
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd find it odd if a partner was going away with their ex. Maybe different if kids were involved.

    I did briefly date someone who did make a point of phoning his "ex" in front of me and the way he talked to her, did make me suspicious. It turns out I was right and they were in fact together.

    I'd be a hypocrite if I said that spending a lot of time with someone of the opposite sex bothered me - most of my friends are male. I am not bothered in the slightest (because we have nothing to hide) if he actually said he was meeting up with me and said what he was doing. Actually, I'd rather he did say something. Not saying anything or ratther, sneaking around, suggests he has something to hide.
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,235 Listening Ear
    angel wrote: »
    Not told him yeti seen what he's like with other people ;( so he does flirt and he does it to my mum so I will have words with me

    Is this something you feel comfortable doing angel? I know it can be quite hard to bring this kind of thing up, the community is happy to help you think it through if you're looking for any support with it :)
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