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starting to panic
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hi all...
well as christmas is approaching very fast im starting to panic...
the story is that my Grandad had been sexually abusing me for 7 years, late last year i reported him to the police nothing came out of it as there were no evidence or anything. after all that i got moved in to residential care, and i didnt see him for 9 months near 10 months.. then i get a phone call from my brother saying "i want u and Grandad here for christmas can u meet with me mum and grandad for a few times before christmas day?" last saturday i met up with all of them and it was okaii ish but i still have this feeling that on christmas when he has had a few too many he will do it again and yeah i can say no and i wil say no but he knows how to get in ur head and u just end up doing what he wants thats how he works... i have to meet him again next friday
and if im honest id rather stay in residential care for christmas than go home and spend a whole 3 days with him... but i dont want to upset me mum or brother. what should i do?
well as christmas is approaching very fast im starting to panic...
the story is that my Grandad had been sexually abusing me for 7 years, late last year i reported him to the police nothing came out of it as there were no evidence or anything. after all that i got moved in to residential care, and i didnt see him for 9 months near 10 months.. then i get a phone call from my brother saying "i want u and Grandad here for christmas can u meet with me mum and grandad for a few times before christmas day?" last saturday i met up with all of them and it was okaii ish but i still have this feeling that on christmas when he has had a few too many he will do it again and yeah i can say no and i wil say no but he knows how to get in ur head and u just end up doing what he wants thats how he works... i have to meet him again next friday
and if im honest id rather stay in residential care for christmas than go home and spend a whole 3 days with him... but i dont want to upset me mum or brother. what should i do? 0
Comments
Have you told your mum or brother how you feel about it? An honest chat where you explain everything might be a good idea.
I'm sorry to hear they're putting you in such a difficult position. You've absolutely every right to choose to stay in residential care for Christmas if that's what you want. I doubt you're going to enjoy it at all if you're essentially being made to sit in the same room as your grandad all day.
I wish there was something I could do or say. Do keep posting *hug* *hug*
I completely understand what you mean about him being able yo get in your head because I was sexually abused myself so I can relate to a lot of what you've said.
I think the main focus should be what you want and what you need. Sometimes you need to upset people to keep yourself safe. I would hate to think something was going to happen to you because you don't deserve it, no one does.
If push came to shove and you felt you had to go, would the staff at the residential home be able to supervise your visits? I know one of the girls from my home is going home for Christmas but she's having it supervised. Do you reckon this could work? That way you can still see everyone but stay safe.
Your safety is my main focus when reading this and it just worries me that you feel like you have to go because you don't want to upset your mum and brother.
Another option could be asking your mum and brother to come and visit you around Christmas or even on Christmas day in the home. Do you reckon that could work?
Please keep talking to us x