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I can't take this, no I can't
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
:no: :crying:
This pain is too much and I just *sigh*, want everything to stop spinning. My head hurts. I can't escape the delusions, the unwanted thoughts, I can't escape my ED, my depression, my anxiety, I can't run away from home again and I hate my dad so much.
I don't know what to do...i feell so hoppelless...i',m sory i'm crying right now/...
This pain is too much and I just *sigh*, want everything to stop spinning. My head hurts. I can't escape the delusions, the unwanted thoughts, I can't escape my ED, my depression, my anxiety, I can't run away from home again and I hate my dad so much.
I don't know what to do...i feell so hoppelless...i',m sory i'm crying right now/...
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Comments
Have you ever felt this bad before? If so whats helped?
You don't have to do all this on your own, we will always be here to support you and even though we're not there physically sometimes it's good to know people are on your side and care x
Sent by Sony Xperia
Let the tears come as they will help to make you feel better, just let go of everything that your feeling.
Do you want to share what is making you feel so bad at the moment and chat it through?
Remember however bad things seem right now at this minute when the storm has passed over you will feel much calmer and will be able to think more clearly.
Sending big hugs your way {{hug}}
Caitlin,I know how you feel and I am here to support you and help you in any way that I can and I am not the only ome either.What's happened to make you feel that horrible?xx
Thanks all of you for being so caring. I just had a massive emotional breakdown last night, and I still don't feel like I've gotten all my bottled up emotions out. I'd felt it coming for a while but it's just in the evening my dad comes in and starts trying to "lay down laws" in the house because college is coming up soon and I really don't want to go back...I was trying to compromise with what he wanted by explaining that he needed to understand what was going inside my head before he could make assumptions about what he thinks is 'best for me' but is actually probably worst for me. He wouldn't listen. He thinks he gets me and he knows I'm a complex person and y'know he spends half his life telling his friends, other relatives etc that nobody understands me except him, which makes me very angry because he probably understands me the least out of everyone we know so he's talking complete (mind my language) bullshit.
This was the last straw for me really and I just couldn't take it anymore. I had a major suicidal episode and I think I'm lucky I had a friend or two trying to calm me down or it would have ended in disaster. Of course I'm not trying to worry you guys, I am not feeling as bad today. But I really didn't want to wake up this morning so when I did I just felt really sick and tired and numb.
I'm just so lost with everything...you see all these memories are coming back to me. Even though I was told I have GAD by my psychologist over a year ago, I do think my anxiety is a lot more severe right now than they're making it out to be. I seem to take strong traits of paranoia, social anxiety, OCD, PTSD, health anxiety etc but I don't have it enough to actually have each one of them so my anxiety is a bit of a mixture of everything if you get what I mean. The paranoia side of it is becoming almost unbearable, I just can't stop these delusions and unwanted thoughts. I'm so mixed up all the time I feel like my head is going to explode. :S And these thoughts I'm referring to don't even include my ED thoughts, I don't even want to get started on them.
It's just a living nightmare, I feel like I'm trapped in hell, literally.
Thanks you guys for caring though, I really am trying to fight it's just last night was impossible and I'm trying to start from scratch now.