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In a dark scary place right now!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Health & Wellbeing
Feel upset and confused right now.

What do I do when someone picks on me for no reason and I have tried to reason it out with them but they don't wanna listen so my only way is to argue back then they will listen but that's not the right way of doing things, so can anyone tell me what I can do when someone has a go at me? I can't seem to do the right thing for doing wrong.

No one understands so I'm hopeing someone out there does and can give me useful advice on how to handle a situation like this. I shouldn't have to be yelled at for no reason and it shows that I'm the bad person yet again! I don't want people to be aganist me so please help.

I'm a really nice person with a good heart so dont understand why anyone would like go have a go at me. What would u do if ur friend was going through something like this? What would u say?

I appreciate any help :)

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It depends on the situation. If it was face to face and you felt uncomfortable, you could simply say 'I don't want to argue with you' and walk away. This way your not getting angry and don't say things you may regret. If you feel you can't walk away just say that you don't want to argue. If its online however, maybe just ignore any comments. That way your not having an argument and the other person isn't getting angry
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's easy said then done but that's a good way of handling a difficult situation but everyone doesn't handle in that way and its very likely I would lol. I would like to have the last word but if they keep arguing with me then I will keep arguing but I will eventually have the last word and say I don't need this and walk away so what ur advicing is good advice but it's more of a nonreality plan then a reality one. Dont know if u get that? I just mean not many people would walk away and leave it be so thats what I ment its not really that simple to do. I do agree with what u said about if u have argument with someone online as that's not a face to face situation where u will feel stuck on what to do and what to say so it's easy to ignore someone through a computer screen. I still like to have the last word but I will take ur advice on board and try my best to avoid someone who is being horrible to me, so I will give it a try. Thank you for replying back and I really appreciate the advice u have given me. I would of done the same :) I dont want to feel like anyone is aganist me on here as I'm a very nice person when u get to know me and don't think I've been given a chance. Thank you once again for ur advice Becki Boo x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think that's the problem though. You wanting to have the last word is fine but that can cause arguments (as I have learnt). I walk away from situations where I feel there is going to be an argument. That way when you go back to the person they have calmed down and you are able to talk (not argue) to them about what was wrong. 9 times out of 10 the person is thankful for me walking away from them and giving them some space to cool off
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know that's the problem but everyone deals with it in different ways. You could easily be the most less stubborn person out there and move ur way from the situation but not everyone does th st so how can it be easy to do that and walk away? Usually people have no choice but to argue it out as that's how an argument is and not to let the person walk all over them. I use to be someone who let people walk all over me but now I dont and think its a grown up thing. I'm not letting anyone rake the mick out of me. Yh u have to try different ways of handling an argument and people like the fact ur not arguing with them anymore but why is it that they should have the last word and do what u feel is not right? Not fair if u look st it like that but u can only be u and not have everyone liking u so u shouldn't have to care but I do.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As Becki says, feeling the need to have the last word can often mean that an argument goes on longer that it needs to. Finding a way to communicate when you both feel calmer can be much easier so initially it's about resisting that urge to shout back and taking the time to step back and let someone cool down.

    We have an article about dealing with arguments that you might find useful to read: http://www.thesite.org/sex-and-relationships/friendship/arguments-with-friends-3316.html

    :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Becki gave some good advice which I completely agree with but it comes down to me and the sort of person I am. Why should I let the other person have a go at me even if I was in the wrong or not. That's not fair as it comes back to me being the unreasonable one and its not! I know some people on here keep arguing and arguing with Mr untill I stop but I do then I get the blame for being unkind but if u knew what they were saying to me then u would think different. I know ur catch them out soon, unlucky that I'm the one always getting the blame on here and that's why I say to u why people are aganist. Not as simple as that Joe to just stop arguing, everyone keeps arguing untill the person backs down. Though I know where ur coming from. I'm not changing for anyone only I will take on board the advice.
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