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Dealing with grief
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey guys :crying:
I'm really struggling at the minute. Today is the anniversary of my Nan passing away - its been 3 years. Many of you will now be thinking that after all this time I should have got over the grief of losing her. The honest answer is, I really haven't. Sure, I'm not as bad as what I was the first couple of months but I still really miss her. It feels like there is something inside of me that is craving her existence. Sounds strange I know. When I found out she had passed away, everything just seemed to stop. Time, movement, everything. I was just stood, totally shell shocked. I remember that morning like it was yesterday. My carer had woken me up at like 3 in the morning saying my Mum and Grandad was downstairs. I think I knew what was coming but I just didn't want to admit it to myself. I walked down the stairs and mum was waiting in the living room. She said 'Its your nan...'. Nothing else needed to be said. I looked over at my carer and she had a sympathetic look on her face and just nodded as if to say 'its true'. I didn't even cry. I just seemed to stand there. Mum hugged me but I still was motionless. Not wanting to move or anything. But as soon as my carer hugged me that was it, I was in tears...
Why is it that the nice people in the world are taken yet the evil people are left to roam the streets? Just doesn't make sense to me!
Sorry its a bit long. Just needed to get it out of my system!:crying:
I'm really struggling at the minute. Today is the anniversary of my Nan passing away - its been 3 years. Many of you will now be thinking that after all this time I should have got over the grief of losing her. The honest answer is, I really haven't. Sure, I'm not as bad as what I was the first couple of months but I still really miss her. It feels like there is something inside of me that is craving her existence. Sounds strange I know. When I found out she had passed away, everything just seemed to stop. Time, movement, everything. I was just stood, totally shell shocked. I remember that morning like it was yesterday. My carer had woken me up at like 3 in the morning saying my Mum and Grandad was downstairs. I think I knew what was coming but I just didn't want to admit it to myself. I walked down the stairs and mum was waiting in the living room. She said 'Its your nan...'. Nothing else needed to be said. I looked over at my carer and she had a sympathetic look on her face and just nodded as if to say 'its true'. I didn't even cry. I just seemed to stand there. Mum hugged me but I still was motionless. Not wanting to move or anything. But as soon as my carer hugged me that was it, I was in tears...
Why is it that the nice people in the world are taken yet the evil people are left to roam the streets? Just doesn't make sense to me!
Sorry its a bit long. Just needed to get it out of my system!:crying:
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Comments
I'm very sorry to see how much your hurting today *cuddles*
You said that you should have got over the loss of your Nan by now, Yes it may be three years from she passed on, but she was with you for much longer. Still missing her today is a very very normal feeling and it's one that I can relate to myself.When a human loses someone their body takes it's time going along the process of that person moving on, sometimes this is only months in other cases it can be years, some people never get over losing a loved one.
The feeling of everything stopping is again a normal reaction to losing someone you love.
I'm unsure about what support you currently have in place, but it may be worth visiting Cruse (http://www.cruse.org.uk/) They have got a helpline- 08444779400, they also have an email service if you find it hard to speak on the phone- helpline@cruse.org.uk
You can also contact Samaritans the following ways-
Email- jo@samaritans.org
Phone- 08457 90 90 90
Text service- 07725 909090
I don't know if this will help in any way at all, but if you want to chat you know where to find me, I do understand how your feeling, it's coming up to a year from I lost my nana. You know where I am if I can help.
Best wishes,
SuzyOwl
Suzy has said it all really so I just wanted to drop in and offer you a hug *hug* everyone is different when it comes to grieving and to be feeling how you're feeling is completely normal and okay.
I hope getting it all out has helped a little bit and you're always welcome to vent any time you need to.
Thank you so much for this. It is appreciated greatly! I miss her a great deal and to be honest I don't think I will ever get over losing her. She was just a massive part of my life. Thanks for the links. I've contacted Samaritans before and to be honest I didn't like it. Will take a look at the cruse website though. Thanks for your support on chat last night as well
butterfly;
Aww thank you butterfly. Means a lot. I was quite surprised yesterday (during the day) because I didn't cry once. But as soon as I started talking on chat last night, that was it! All came out. I had to PM wenders today to apologise for how I was in chat because I was a bit emotional!
With requards to last night, you do have every right to be upset, these times are hard to deal with am I'm sure Wenders understands, she's witnessed many of a time a very emotional owl! Don't dwel on last night to much.
I do hope things are a little better today, like I said you know where I am if you ever need anything ok.