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So New Years Right?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I am fourteen years old, that's it, fourteen and I went to a friend's party for new years, perfectly acceptable right? I should probably say now that I'm bisexual and I've kissed so many girls but I've never kissed a guy so I wanted it done by the end of 2013...So I found this random sixteen year old who said he'd kiss me and we made out...quite a few times during the night...which is fine, I think, nothing really to worry about, but he was getting drunker and drunker and more touchy feeley and I'm a virgin and proud of it, I'm a Christian and no I'm probably not gonna wait until I'm married but at least, at the very least, until I'm legal. So I kept telling him to stop it but he kept shoving his hand up my skirt or in my bra and by this time I was a little bit tipsy, I knew what was going on but I didn't know how to make it stop...so anyway he leaves me alone for a bit, we kiss at midnight, all is fine until I lie down ready to go to bed and he comes under my covers and starts trying to finger me and I'm scared but he's kind of trapped me under his arm and I don't know what to do so I turn over and move his hand away, he then takes my hand and puts it down his pants so I'll give him a handjob and I don't want to but my hand's stuck cos his trousers are really tight...I got it out and he kept telling me he wanted to have a threesome with me and another girl (cos I'm bisexual) but then he'd say something really homophobic and then he said he'd had sex with fourteen year olds before so it was fine but I got up and left and it didn't really hit me until now but I'm really shaken, I kind of led him on, I feel so stupid and I don't want to make a big deal out of it or anything but I'm not in a good state and I have clinical depression so I'm trying really hard not to self harm because it's been seven months and yeah, I'm really quite scared and I just want someone to talk to, I don't want my parents finding out though...:(
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It doesn’t sound to me like you led him on at all. It sounds like you kept telling him to stop and he carried on. Kissing someone is not a statement that you’re up for anything else - a kiss is just a kiss.
So yes, it does sound like a sexual assault, and is worse legally as you’re under 16 (the age of consent). Whether you want to report it or not is your decision, but it does sound like it’s really important that you talk to someone about it soon, as you do sound shaken and you need to look after yourself.
Do you have friends you trust that you can talk to about it?
You can call ChildLine free (including mobiles) on 116 111 24 hours a day, and they’ll have a counsellor that you can talk things through with.
You could also contact Women’s Aid, who deal more specifically with sexual violence. You can talk to them about what happened, and they can advise you on the next steps if you do want to report it. Again, they have a 24 hour freephone helpline – it’s 0808 2000 247 (they have an email service too: helpline@womensaid.org.uk).
Keep talking here too
Danny
I really can't have my parents finding out, they'd never trust me again, I've talked to a friend of mine who's grown up and always helps me out with things like this that go wrong and she's helped a lot.
I don't think telling the police will make anything better, I just want to forget it ever happened because I mean I made it stop in the end and I'm hopefully never gonna see him again.
Thanks for all the replies, I guess I just need some support.
I don't know maybe it's best if I just leave it, I think I'll recover better if I just talk it through with my friends.
Thanks.
You don't know that other people are 'up for it'. Don't just fucking assume that because other girls are 'sluts' they want sex with any loser at any time.
Deep breaths.
I don't think OP was saying that at all.
I knew a lot of girls in high school who outright said they were having sex at 14, and I doubt much has changed since then. I imagine it's likely worse now.
Anyway - OP, you told him to stop and he didn't. Just because someone else might have been up for it (although frankly I doubt many of them actually are when it comes down to it), doesn't mean you should have been or even that he should have expected you to be.
It's up to you whether you want to report it. But one thing you really should do is talk to someone about it. You've made a step in the right direction by telling us, but there are more specialised places that may be able to help you more.
Just remember that this was in no way your fault.
Franki
That's kind of what I thought I was just unsure and wanted to check with everyone about it
I'm feeling better now about it all, it wasn't as bad as it felt when it first happened, I guess I'm kind of learning to laugh about it now, not that it's a laughing matter, just that's what I do with all my problems so they don't seem so big and are easier toget over,
Feeling much better and thanks for the advice everyone
Isy
You know, 'always look on the bright side of life', that's kind of what I live by, you can't change the past so might as well learn to live with it in a good way instead of seeing it as the worst thing ever cos that's just gonna bring me down and trust me I don't need anything else to do that!
The OP did say it's not a laughing matter and that she's going to look into seeing a counsellor on Monday - also that she's feeling better thanks to being able to talk about it here. Those are all positives so lets continue to be supportive
I am being supportive..
I was just trying to say that it won't just go away, being sexually assaulted is horrible and laughing about it won't make anything better.
I can't explain what I'm trying to say..
Sorry if I offended you.
I've made a lot of mistakes in my life and the only way I've ever felt better is to laugh, maybe it won't go away but it worked today, I'm not saying it's funny, it was bad but I'm just saying it'll help get me back on my feet so I can come to terms with it you know?
Thanks for the help butterfly123, it means a lot
Keep posting, let us know how you're doing.