If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
horrible intrusive thoughts that won't go away
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
about a week ago, i was in the car about to go camping and for some reason i started having a really weird thought about my mum and dad having sex. it didn't really bother me at first but then i thought of me and my mum having sex and it really disturbed me. i didn't know why i was thinking this and i was trying to block the thought out. i started asking myself questions like 'why am i thinking this?' 'am i sexually perverted or something?' and that scared me even more. i swear that i would never do anything like that in my life and i find things like that revolting.
then it got worse. i started having horrible images in my head and the more i tried to push them out, the worse they got. i looked it up on the internet and i found out that they were called intrusive thoughts and people with anxiety disorders get the worst kind. i looked on some advice pages and they said to let the thoughts flow and they are very common which made me feel a bit better. the thoughts have stuck with me since and they are really tormenting me,i have been in tears many times because of them and i think that i might commit suicide if these thoughts carry on.
i've started having some about other family members and it's really distressing me but not as bad as the ones about my mum. i've talked to my mum and dad about it and they said that everyone gets weird thoughts and i'm growing up and stuff like that but i don't think they understand how much they're ruining my life. this isn't the first time i've had bad thoughts,when i was about eleven i had a really strong urge to hurt my family and i would avoid the kitchen because i was so scared of actually acting on my thoughts. a few weeks ago i was watching a tv show and it was talking about sex slavery and i thought 'what if i was attracted to things like that?'. i read a newspaper article about a pedophile and i thought what if i turned out to be a pedophile and i freaked out.
i know that it's just my mind playing tricks on me because i worry a lot but i constantly doubt myself and i ask myself 'what if it isn't intrusive thoughts?' 'what if you're actually attracted to your own mother?' 'what if no one feels the same?' 'what if you act on your thoughts?' 'what if there's a part in you that like the thoughts?' 'what if the thoughts stick with you forever?' and i'm terrified that they are actually true. there's a horrible feeling in my head that won't go away. i wish i could unthink things, i really do! i don't want to ruin the relationship with my parents again! please tell me that i'm not alone in how i am thinking
:crying:
then it got worse. i started having horrible images in my head and the more i tried to push them out, the worse they got. i looked it up on the internet and i found out that they were called intrusive thoughts and people with anxiety disorders get the worst kind. i looked on some advice pages and they said to let the thoughts flow and they are very common which made me feel a bit better. the thoughts have stuck with me since and they are really tormenting me,i have been in tears many times because of them and i think that i might commit suicide if these thoughts carry on.
i've started having some about other family members and it's really distressing me but not as bad as the ones about my mum. i've talked to my mum and dad about it and they said that everyone gets weird thoughts and i'm growing up and stuff like that but i don't think they understand how much they're ruining my life. this isn't the first time i've had bad thoughts,when i was about eleven i had a really strong urge to hurt my family and i would avoid the kitchen because i was so scared of actually acting on my thoughts. a few weeks ago i was watching a tv show and it was talking about sex slavery and i thought 'what if i was attracted to things like that?'. i read a newspaper article about a pedophile and i thought what if i turned out to be a pedophile and i freaked out.
i know that it's just my mind playing tricks on me because i worry a lot but i constantly doubt myself and i ask myself 'what if it isn't intrusive thoughts?' 'what if you're actually attracted to your own mother?' 'what if no one feels the same?' 'what if you act on your thoughts?' 'what if there's a part in you that like the thoughts?' 'what if the thoughts stick with you forever?' and i'm terrified that they are actually true. there's a horrible feeling in my head that won't go away. i wish i could unthink things, i really do! i don't want to ruin the relationship with my parents again! please tell me that i'm not alone in how i am thinking
:crying: 0
Comments
Intrusive thoughts may involve violent obsessions about hurting others or themselves.[16] They can include such thoughts as harming an innocent child, jumping from a bridge, mountain or the top of a tall building, urges to jump in front of a train or automobile, and urges to push another in front of a train or automobile.[4] Rachman's survey of healthy college students found that virtually all of them had intrusive thoughts from time to time, including:[6]
Causing harm to elderly people
Imagining or wishing harm upon someone close to oneself
Impulses to violently attack, hit, harm or kill a person, small child, or animal
Impulses to shout at or abuse someone, or attack and violently punish someone, or say something rude, inappropriate, nasty or violent to someone.
These thoughts are part of being human, and need not ruin the quality of life.[17] Treatment is available when the thoughts are associated with OCD and become persistent, severe, or distressing.
Inappropriate sexual thoughts[edit source]
Sexual obsessions involve intrusive thoughts or images of "kissing, touching, fondling, oral sex, anal sex, intercourse, and rape" with "strangers, acquaintances, parents, children, family members, friends, coworkers, animals and religious figures", involving "heterosexual or homosexual content" with persons of any age.[18]
Like other unwanted intrusive thoughts or images, everyone has some inappropriate sexual thoughts at times, but people with OCD may attach significance to the unwanted sexual thoughts, generating anxiety and distress. The doubt that accompanies OCD leads to uncertainty regarding whether one might act on the intrusive thoughts, resulting in self-criticism or loathing.[18]
One of the more common sexual intrusive thoughts occurs when an obsessive person doubts his or her sexual identity. As in the case of most sexual obsessions, sufferers may feel shame and live in isolation, finding it hard to discuss their fears, doubts, and concerns about their sexual identity.[12]
A person experiencing sexual intrusive thoughts may feel shame, "embarrassment, guilt, distress, torment, fear that you may act on the thought or perceived impulse, and doubt about whether you have already acted in such a way." Depression may be a result of the self-loathing that can occur, depending on how much the OCD interferes with daily functioning or causes distress.[18] Their concern over these thoughts may cause them to scrutinize their bodies to determine if the thoughts result in feelings of arousal. But, focusing attention of any part of the body can result in feelings in that part of the body, hence doing so may decrease confidence and increase fear about acting on the urges. Part of treatment of sexual intrusive thoughts involves therapy to help sufferers accept intrusive thoughts and stop trying to reassure themselves by checking their bodies.
from here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrusive_thoughts#Inappropriate_sexual_thoughts
BUT please don't think because you have these thoughts you're mentally ill, sick, twisted or anything else. Yes, there maybe something wrong but it could just be because you're human, like the rest of us.
You said something really important in your post 'i know that it's just my mind playing tricks on me' which is good. You realise it's just your stupid, overactive brain being a dick (I have that kind of brain too).
I would suggest you go to your GP. There is medication that can slow your thoughts down but, if you have no history or symptoms of mental health issues, you'd probably be OK learning some coping techniques.
Hope that helps
hi
i currently have to go to a counsellor about self harm/feeling depressed/anxiety/possible aspergers and the next meeting i have is on thursday. (i wish it was before school started though -_-) my mum said she doesn't have to go in because she knows how upset this is making me so i will mention the unwanted/intrusive thoughts i'm having.
-ellen x
It was really brave of you to open up and post about these thoughts and how they're affecting you. I hope it's helped you to write everything down and get it 'out'. I also think it shows real maturity that you've been able to talk openly to your parents about these thoughts - it also suggests that you have a close relationship with them if you felt you could tell them.
To a certain extent, they are probably right when they say everyone gets these strange thoughts and it's part of growing up. You'd be surprised at how many people have thoughts that scare them and don't make sense to them - it's just that many people don't talk about it.
But, if they are beginning to take over and dominate your thoughts then you're definitely right to talk to a doctor or counsellor about it. But please be reassured that there are people who can help you manage the thoughts, even if it does prove to be a 'real' problem.
I hope your counsellor is able to help you work through this - let us know how you get on on Thursday *hug*
Like Spanner said a massive well done for managing to write all this down and open up about your thoughts. Intrusive thoughts are horrible and really mess with your head but i wanted to say that they are not your fault and they do NOT make you a bad person or anything like that.
There is a form of OCD which is called "Pure-O". This type of OCD doesn't involve compulsions (like hand washing, counting, etc) as much but instead it mainly involves intrusive thoughts and ideas that you don't want.
I think it's a really good idea to tell your counsellor about the thoughts you're having so that they can help you out.
And from my experience you can get better & learn to either shut out or stop the thoughts. CBT might be really helpful for you and some people also take anti-depressants which can really help OCD.
I hope this helps
Kat
How did your counselling go yesterday? Did you talk to them about these thoughts at all?
I hope things have been ok for you this week.
Spanner