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Anyone feeling the same?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm 16 and I find that chat on here is a great distraction however when it's over I feel like all the support is gone. I automatically go into bad thought mode because chat finishes around the time I go to bed and that is the time I start to s/h. I'm fed up of it and I don't really know what to say. I am also fed up of putting on a happy cheery bubbly facade infront of EVERYONE. No one truly understands how I feel and it makes me upset that I feel I can't tell anyone everything. I hate my life and feel bad for hating it because there are others out there that have it much worse. Through out these last couple of months I have been pushing my friends away (not on purpose) and now I feel they don't like me. I never get invited places and never understand the inside jokes. I literally have 2 friends. I also get angry really easily and the only way I can let that anger out is through hurting myself.I haven't s/h in the last 3 days instead I just flick and elastic band against my wrist. - anyone feel the same? Or am I just being over the top. :nervous:
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You are certainly not alone in those feelings, everyone here has something going on and the beauty of the boards are that they are 24/7! Even if there's nobody around at exactly the same time as you use the boards to get things down.
You're doing great! You'd be surprised how many people are probably feeling a lot of the same stuff you are and by sharing you're in turn helping someone else realise that no one here has to go it alone *hug*
Dp
I definitely understand where you're coming from, chat is a fantastic resource and is fairly unique in the fact that literally anyone can participate. And the mods are great and help keep chat a supportive, safe and often fun environment. It truly is a fantastic distraction technique, as well as being a non-judgemental space where you can be yourself.
But it's great that you have managed not to sh for 3 days! :thumbup: that's a fantastic achievement and you need to hold onto that!
Friends are a tricky one, when I was in college I had an amazing circle of friends, but since I've been in and out of hospital, (I was forbidden to tell them where I was and why) - I am now only in touch with one friend. And it does hurt seeing on fb them all going out together and not being asked, but all you need is one good supportive friend. Do your friends know your situation? If not do you think if you explained it to them, they might understand what's going on a bit better?
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How are you? I wasn't to sure how to respond to this, but was eager to respond as I've seen you about in chat, etc...It's great you can use chat as a distraction and a coping mechanism, I'm glad it's something that can help you, I'm proud of you for being able to post on the boards though, so well done
If you're looking for more round the clock support, there's a website called BeatBullying that covers a variety of issues like self harm, bullying, eating disorders, and you can talk to young people your age, older mentors as well as trained and volunteer counsellors who are all really lovely
Sometimes it's difficult keeping everything locked up, as you will have moments where you just want to EXPLODE, and it's difficult because you've aloud to let that pile up, I guess it's difficult opening up to friends at times, because we worry about what they might things, etc...Or, we have our own worry thoughts mine often is 'I don't wish to burden them' and 'I don't deserve them' which oddly enough is very common for people to worry about, I guess you just have to go through stages, appear confident and see if it's the right moment, etc...
I often let my anger spread on people I love, people I care about and many close friends, and it's something that's very difficult as you need to express it somehow, but I guess it's about labelling emotions, are you angry, is there an emotion behind that, and acknowledge how you feel, so I feel ashamed leading me to anger that kinda stuff, this doesn't make sense, I'm starting to talk DBT :P
Haha, but on an easier note, have you spoken to anyone your your self harm for example your GP, or somebody at school/College? And sometimes having two friends is better than nose, I think when we have the fear of people walking away, we find the need to push them away before they leave us, do you find that? o.o
What other distractions do you use before turning to behaviours such as self harm?
BY THE WAY HOMIE, Going three days without self harm is AMAZING honestly, I'm really proud of you, do keep us updated, and please keep reaching out to us, you took an amazing first step by posting on here!
Take care,
Angel
Thankyou for replying, and i'll try that sititng up straight techinque:)I will also check out them sites + yeah I spoke to my gp however she wasn't helpful at all, she told me to 'just stop' which was stupid because of course, if i could stop i would! I often feel angry and I figured that out with my year group behaivour support leader, also Ihave started counselling, which is good I suppose? I'll check out that mindfulness, and thankyou
Yeah I love chat like you said it's great because no one judges and it's safe:) thankyuo for your support, and only 2 of my friends know, and i'd rather keep it like that because my other friends are quite judgemental about s/h and always make jokes etc. Thankyou again:)
thankyou:)