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Horrible Moods..

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Not long been out of hospital due to a suicide attempt. My now ex girlfriend said some pretty horrible things to me including "I hope you go and kill yourself" and "You're a disgrace to us all" and much much more. I'd already had a hard enough week as it was and was feeling incredibly low. I just couldn't hack it anymore. I told a worker in the hostel I felt crap and then went to bed. She placed me on suicide watch and came and checked on me once and then didn't check on me again. Till the next one did around 12 hours later, In that time I was on the floor in not a good state and she contacted an ambulance and off I went. After loads of tests and a chest xray (still don't understand that bit) I was put in an overnight ward and had the worst night of my life. When I was discharged I got home around..5pm and instantly felt low again. Everyone keeps going "you okay" or then "don't try and do that again" nobody is looking at me the same. And the people here who was being horrible to me, have become even worse..

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Stupid stupid stupid:banghead:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's not stupid Em.. those things that your ex-girlfriend said were really really cruel, even if they were said in the heat of the moment those kind of words can hit hard especially if they come at a time when you're already feeling crap :( how are you doing today?

    I'm so sorry to hear that you ended up in hospital, it sounds like a really rough night for you. Do you want to tell us a bit more about it? You don't have to, but I wonder if it might help to vent about it. If you'd like to, you know you can here.

    You've been through a really difficult few days so give yourself some space and time to recover and think things through and try and be kind to yourself as much as you can. People often don't know how to react or what they should say so they say the first thing that comes into their head which can be really unhelpful. It does sound like they are concerned about you though and that comes from a place of caring about you too. We're so glad that you're still here because we love having you around :heart:

    If you're worried about your safety in the coming days then perhaps you can ask the hostel workers to check on you say every 2 or 3 hours, or whatever you feel comfortable with. Have you got any support in place in the next few days?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I feel crap still..Last night was horrible.

    Well, the other day when I ended up in hospital..was because I took a large overdose. It didn't even work! Mandy came in and saw me, and she started asking me question and asking me to sit up and I refused because I basically couldn't, I was respondent I just had no energy to move, Then she asked me questions about how many I'd taken and why which again I never answered I just laid there in silence before I eventually found the strength to go sit in the office where everyone kept walking past and seeing me in the state I was. When I got to the hospital two people turned up from the hostel that I don't even like which really annoyed me and said things to the man in the bed next to me "She's taken an overdose" "We also found rope in her room". Which angered me but I was too ill to even comment.

    The hostel staff was checking on me every hour after I came home, but I think because I seem more happier (I'm not) they've stopped and will only continue if they don't see me for a while. but theres the chance I could loose my place here because of it...So yep I'm a stupid failure..
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Got really horrible mood again, I can't find anything positive to focus on and im just feeling genrally crap. I feel really worthless and hopeless and just want everything to end :(
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