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Struggling
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
In the last couple of weeks me depressions taken a real turn for the worse and i feel so awful. In the last couple of weeks i've tried to kill myself 4 times 
.
Then on Wednesday i was attacked and spent most the night on the street, before sleeping on someone's sofa.
Im just feeling so lonely and depressed and like i don't want to be here any more. Im finding too hard to cope with just one hour a weeks support, me selfharms gotten really bad and i've been warned theres a high chance of me contracting septicaemia, because i tend to injure myself at least 100 times in one go. I skipped college on Friday and don't plan on going Monday either, i just can't face people.
Im just not sure how im meant to keep coping, i really don't think i can do this no more.
.Then on Wednesday i was attacked and spent most the night on the street, before sleeping on someone's sofa.
Im just feeling so lonely and depressed and like i don't want to be here any more. Im finding too hard to cope with just one hour a weeks support, me selfharms gotten really bad and i've been warned theres a high chance of me contracting septicaemia, because i tend to injure myself at least 100 times in one go. I skipped college on Friday and don't plan on going Monday either, i just can't face people.
Im just not sure how im meant to keep coping, i really don't think i can do this no more.
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Comments
I am sorry you are feeling this way. It's good that you have some support, even if it is just for an hour a week. Is there a chance of you speaking to whoever it is who offers the support and seeing if you can have it more, if you need it. At the end of the day your health and wellbeing is so important, and you needs should be met, hopefully. I can understand that it could be hard to offer you more appointments. Just a suggestion.
Do you seek any medical attention for the self harm?
You are coping cos you want to. You want to live, even though it is hard for you right now, you keep going, this is something you should be proud of yourself for. You say your self harm is getting worse, does anybody know about your self harm?
Have you talked to your college tutor about not going to college for a while til things have maybe settled down, and you feel more up to it?
Sorry for all the questions.
Well done for reaching out for support on here.
Don't get any and don't tell anyone cept me counsellor. Im so used to dealing with it on me own, but because of how i do it and stuff got told that there was concern of me getting septisemia
and i did at one point talk to her bout finding it hard, at which point she broke me confidentiality to me family when i told her not to tell them about it, because they get angry with me for it and wouldn't let me see a counsellor.
Todays just got worse now tbh got told by me last friend to piss off and how im selfish ad stuff
Again your counsellor would of had to break your confidentiality if she was concerned about your safety. Wouldnt be doing the job correctly if they didnt do that.
Sorry to hear about what your friend has said to you. I know how you feel. I told a friend I self harm and her reply was, why you doing that,theres nothing wrong with you. And after lots of arguments we fell out. She said lots of hurtful things. I forgive her but I cant forget what she did. Ive not seen or spoke to her since.
Please stay safe. Inbox me on the boards if you want
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and it wasn't me counsellor who did
I don't really have any friends i have told or would tell, i don't want people to know cos i guess i don't want them to stop me. s/h is my best way of coping with big problems without having a melt down.
Tbh i just really don't wanna do it no more. People don't seem to care tbh and every time i ask for help from them lately i get turned down. Just had enough
Do you think you could channel your feelings for self harm into anything else? I understand you feel that is your only coping method right now, so are scared to try to stop, but some people find there are alternatives. Artwork is a good example. Is it the relief of seeing it that helps? If so maybe try getting red paint and angrily painting at a canvas or paper and making abstract patterns, until you feel all your anger and hurt is subsiding? You could write out angry words with it, of all the things that are running through your mind, or just strike out. If it is the pain, then having an elastic band on your arm and pinging it is a way of getting that without doing real damage that can cause long term affects. I know both these techniques have worked for people in the past.
Do try and find a way to take up the offer of twice weekly sessions if you can. If you stress the importance I am sure that she will be able to find a way to fit you in, even if it isn't the most convenient. Seeing a GP could be useful too, as they will be able to assess you and sign you off classes if they really feel it would benefit you to have a break.
I hope everything starts to feel easier to cope with soon. At the lowest points it can only go upwards.
I do that kinda stuff as well as s/h which probably lowers the amount i do it, but there's literally no other way i feel i can deal with day to day problems and worrying without it otherwise i think id just breakdown, without it. For me its nothing to do with pain or anger, well sometimes is anger but most of the time it just makes it feel better and easier to cope with.
And well people are only really meant to have one session a week but i guess she can see i am finding it hard to cope. And as much as id love time off atm me course is like a constant thing of lectures and assignments and missing any would make the assignments worse.
Im not really that sure how i can deal with things, just feels too much.
I am sure they do realise you are struggling if they are offering 2 sessions. Do you feel you could find a way it could fit in for you both? Have you considered looking for classes in your area for some form of exercise (endorphins can really help improve mood) or things like meditation? it would allow you to get out the house and make you push your boundaries a little, as well as having a positive effect overall.
And yea, but its not my choice its hard enough for me to be fitted in for one session let alone two and she's having to do out of usual hours to see me once. And i did used to do a sport class most days of the week, love sports tbh