No reason to exist

Former Member · February 2013

i'm finding it difficult to see any reason why i should continue existing.
i needed to tell someone that.. if i tell anyone else i'll probably get sectioned again.
not gonna take my meds tonight cause i need control over something.. may as well have control over what goes in my body.

Former Member · February 2013

If you seek help there is a less of a chance of being sectioned again.

**helen** · February 2013

Hi Nutter,
I'm really sorry to see how much you were struggling on Saturday night, it can be really difficult to break that thought cycle once it takes hold. I'm glad you felt you could express your thoughts here though and hope that BB's words were a comfort to you?

I'm not sure if you've called The Samaritans before, but you can always call them with absolutely no risk of being sectioned. It can be a relief to be able to say things out loud.

Chat's on tonight if you fancy it and feel like it might be a positive distraction?

How are you feeling today? Have you taken any meds?

Former Member · February 2013

I've talked to the samaritans before, they're ok, but i don't like talking on the phone and i gave up emailing them a long time ago when they replied to say that they would gradually stop emailing me so that i didn't get dependant on them (that's how much i emailed).
been really struggling with emotions, apparently i've become subdued and snappy

and been in a lot of physical pain. i'm going to the doctor tomorrow but not sure how much she can help me. had to write everything down so i can just hand it over because i don't think i can talk, i'm losing hope and lost interest in almost everything.

Former Member · February 2013

tonight, i feel the same. I made a video. Have a look. The point is that people care. live for them. If you need to talk then send me a message.

http://utterlycray.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/my-stand.html

Former Member · February 2013

what an inspirational video.

hope you are feeling a lil better today, nutter

**helen** · February 2013

Nutter wrote: »

i'm going to the doctor tomorrow but not sure how much she can help me. had to write everything down so i can just hand it over because i don't think i can talk, i'm losing hope and lost interest in almost everything.

Really pleased to hear you're going to the doctor and have written everything down, that's a really good thing to have done. Being in pain physically can have a major impact on your mood and so getting help on that front could make a big difference.

Where are you at in your life at the moment? If you're feeling at a loss or a struggling to find any goals (even small ones) then it's understandable that it's difficult to feel any sense of hope or interest in things.

Former Member · February 2013

well the doctor was pretty much useless. on the way there my dad was being really nosy and asking loads of questions, which doesn't help, he seemed to think i was up to something just because i wanted to get the bus to town afterwards.. my mum seems to share my personal problems with everyone she knows

it's no wonder i don't like talking to them, i really really need to move out.
i'm nowhere at the moment and for the foreseeable future. i keep calling the psychiatrist's office, but he's not calling back... my old psychiatrist used to, he'd make time after work and properly listen to me.
just ordered a herbal remedy to hopefully help with panic and sleep, since i'm not getting help for that..
mental health services + gp's= total and utter crap

No reason to exist

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