Is this an issue? How do I deal with it?

Former Member · February 2013

I'll try not to turn this into a long post. Would really appreciate people's thoughts and advice.

I'm a worrier, always have been and there's not a lot I've really been able to do about it. As a kid and teenager I'd worry about our house being broken into to the point where I'd be up in the middle of the night unable to sleep, sure that someone was in the house. I'm not just talking about a few times either, it was a pretty regular thing. I wouldn't sleep at other people's houses really, only a few friends I felt comfortable with doing that.

I'm really funny about things feeling outside of my control. I hate surprises. If I don't know until it's happened that's one thing but if I know there's a surprise but not what it is, I hate it. Over think it too much. I don't like when plans change at the last minute, makes me feel like things are outside of my control. Like this weekend, I should have been seeing my bf until Monday but he changed plans so he can do something on Sunday, meaning I need to change my plans for Monday as they were too awkward to do if I wasn't going straight from his. The decision of exactly how to change my plans was difficult, didn't know what to do, felt a bit overwhelmed by it and took a couple of hours to make a decision for something that wasn't really that difficult! Get worked up, feel stressed and anxious, over think things, feel myself get all tense, emotional etc. Even small decisions like what to have for dinner get made more than they should be! I generally plan what to have in the morning otherwise I spend ages trying to decide! I just over think things too much and get overwhelmed by small decisions but then on the other hand, occasionally, can make very spontaneous decisions. Though tend to agonise over them generally! Just focus too much on little details and get worked up over them.

What causes me to be like this and how do I stop it?!

Former Member · February 2013

its hard to say, but i can relate a bit. It could be a generalised anxiety disorder, it could be some sort of mild autistic spectrummy type thing. It certainly sounds like its affecting your life negatively. Do you have a good relationship with your gp? Do you think she might be someone to talk to? Maybe ask for some counselling, or to be referred to someone

Also might be worth looking up the number for MIND in your area and giving them a calll

Former Member · February 2013

SuzyCreamcheese wrote: »

its hard to say, but i can relate a bit. It could be a generalised anxiety disorder, it could be some sort of mild autistic spectrummy type thing. It certainly sounds like its affecting your life negatively. Do you have a good relationship with your gp? Do you think she might be someone to talk to? Maybe ask for some counselling, or to be referred to someone

Also might be worth looking up the number for MIND in your area and giving them a calll

I moved house in September and have only been yo the doctors twice in that time, both times seeing different doctors. So wouldn't say I have a good relationship with my GP unfortunately. I would probably still go and see them but I just don't know what I'd say to them at all.

Who are MIND? What do they do?

Thanks for replying, I appreciate it

Former Member · February 2013

Sorry to hear how your feeling. I can relate I worry about things so much, however I am slowly learning that things will be okay and worrying about things isn't always the best way to live you life. Yes you can worry about things that need worrying about. Somebody once told me that whats the point in worrying about things you can't change? I live my life by that motto now.

Mind are a mental health charity, Here is the link

http://www.mind.org.uk/

I hope things get better for you lovely, remember to keep posting on here.

TheSite also has a chat room, where peers can offer support to one another. You could find that helpful to get some support and maybe if others are going through similar you may be able to relate.

Details for that

http://thesite.org/community/thesocial/chat

Hope that helps a little.

Former Member · February 2013

As an anxiety suffer / former sufferer (its something that you learn to manage rather than cure), just go to your GP and say you feel you may be suffering from some form of anxiety. There are different forms and the GP will probably want to figure it out himself, but they will take you seriously.

Just explain to him or her what you've said to us here. Good luck.

Danny! · February 2013

Hi

Just a quick thought from me: it might be worth trying to map out (maybe in writing or pictures) the kind of things that you worry about, and where each one might come from. Do they fall into groups ("worry about personal safety", or "everyday tasks" etc.)?

Sometimes we worry about things because they have happened before (like if your house had been broken into before it would make sense to be more concerned about it happening again). But sometimes they seem to come out of nowhere. Maybe you could add any ideas of where the worries might come from on to the map.

Mapping things out might make it easier to speak to your GP as well.

It can be that if you feel really anxious and worried about something that you don't feel you should be, that the difficult feeling really belongs to something else. So, using your example of this weekend (and I'm aware I could be quite wrong on the details, but it will explain what I'm trying to say):

Is it possible that focusing in on your plans too much and finding the decision overwhelming is partly to do with other emotions that get mixed up in that decision? Maybe you were disappointed not to be able to spend Sunday with your boyfriend too? Or maybe you were annoyed that he changed his plans, meaning that you had to change yours? Feelings tend to find a way of coming out, and if they're not recognised, they can appear in more unexpected ways.

That wasn't as quick as I'd meant it to be!

Hope it's of some help

Is this an issue? How do I deal with it?

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