I'm a failure

Former Member · February 2013

I was trying to stop cutting but I gave into my urges after 2 weeks. My mum and brother were making fun of me for harming myself and taking the piss, calling me emo, and stuff, just to try and upset me.

I'm such a stupid stupid person. I really hate myself. I'm useless.

I don't know what to do now.

Former Member · February 2013

Hitori, if this were someone elses thread, think of the encouraging things you would say to them. How well they did to stop for 14 full days. How hard it is when you're family aren't supportive. And how what to do next is dust yourself down and try again.

Former Member · February 2013

Everyone relapses when they try to recover, I don't think I've met anyone that's not relapsed in their recovery. It's a stepping stone and each time you relapse, the space between the stones become closer and closer, easier and easier.
Try not to beat yourself up over it, you can do this, and you will beat this.

Maybe try writing down how you felt when you did relapse? And how maybe that could be avoided, or distractions that you could put in place before you decide to harm. May be helpful.

*hug*

Former Member · February 2013

Is there even a point in trying? I'm just going to keep failing and failing until I die.
I only lasted 2 weeks. When I've tried to stop in the past I just ended up planning my own death after a week, but tuned to self harm to deal with the suicidal thoughts. Other people would probably last longer than me. I'm not very strong, you see.
I can sort of deal with it when I get picked on at school about my self harm, but when it's the people you have to live with and see everyday, it's kind of different.
The people that are supposed to love me and care about me don't.
There's no point to anything. I should just go and kill myself.

Former Member · February 2013

Everyone is different, you can't compare yourself to another person, because they may have found a distraction that works for them that may not work for you.

It's hard for family if they haven't gone through it themselves, my family don't understand either, but I leave them too it. I think you should keep fighting because I think there's a lot more people then you think that care about you.

Former Member · February 2013

Hi Hitori

I'm so sorry to hear how low you're feeling about this, but the others are right - two weeks is a great achievement. It may not seem like long, but when you're dependent on anything even a day can be a milestone.

You seem like such a caring and thoughtful person - always offering great support to others on here - so I'm sorry that your family aren't giving you the support you deserve from them. It's not surprising that you feel low if they're teasing you about self-harming. But I wonder if it's their ignorance and the fact that they don't know how to deal with it or how to help you which has made them behave in this way?

I know it's not easy but if you could help them understand why you feel the need to self-harm maybe they'd drop the jibes? Maybe getting your mum alone when your brother isn't around might be best and you could print out some of the info sheets from TheSite and ask her to read them? Just an idea, of course it might not be what you think is right at the moment.

Please remember, we care about you here, so keep posting *hug*

Former Member · February 2013

Thanks you guys. *hug*

My mum doesn't even wan't to understand. I've tried and tried to get her to understand, and even got someone else to speak to her.

Oh well, I guess there's always somebody out there who will want to understand.

I'm a failure

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