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Too Much
BillieTheBot
Posts: 8,721 Bot
Well I was doing really well, not sh-ed since Xmas, managed to keep a relatively stable relationship etc. but this week everything seems to have crashed around me.
I'm in year 12 and up until now I was doing 6 AS levels, plus volunteering and 2 jobs and ballet. I know logically that's too much work to be trying to do, but I was determined to stick with it through 'til May when we leave for exams, and then drop a subject. My mum made me drop spanish this week though, she was worried about me, school were fine with it ,and I know I'll do better in my other subjects without it. Since I've dropped it though I've got a lot of 'told you you shouldn't do that many' which makes me feel like I've failed, and I know I've done the right thing, but it's still getting to me.
2 different relatives have been diagnosed with cancer this week too, I'm not very close to either of them really but it's still a shock.
There was a thing with Jack too, I don't want to go into it, but most people would probably have broken up with him over it. I couldn't do that though, he means too much to me and I know he didn't mean to do it, but it's just something else. It involved my best friend and she's now said I have to choose between Jack and her. How on earth am I meant to do that?? Jack's said choose her, but he's too important to lose. There's no point talking to her either, she's too stubborn to change.
Had thoughts of s/h last night too, first time since I stopped, and although I didn't act on them I thought I'd got rid of that..
Hmm
I'm in year 12 and up until now I was doing 6 AS levels, plus volunteering and 2 jobs and ballet. I know logically that's too much work to be trying to do, but I was determined to stick with it through 'til May when we leave for exams, and then drop a subject. My mum made me drop spanish this week though, she was worried about me, school were fine with it ,and I know I'll do better in my other subjects without it. Since I've dropped it though I've got a lot of 'told you you shouldn't do that many' which makes me feel like I've failed, and I know I've done the right thing, but it's still getting to me.
2 different relatives have been diagnosed with cancer this week too, I'm not very close to either of them really but it's still a shock.
There was a thing with Jack too, I don't want to go into it, but most people would probably have broken up with him over it. I couldn't do that though, he means too much to me and I know he didn't mean to do it, but it's just something else. It involved my best friend and she's now said I have to choose between Jack and her. How on earth am I meant to do that?? Jack's said choose her, but he's too important to lose. There's no point talking to her either, she's too stubborn to change.
Had thoughts of s/h last night too, first time since I stopped, and although I didn't act on them I thought I'd got rid of that..
Hmm
Beep boop. I'm a bot.
0
Comments
You haven't failed. I tried to do too many AS Levels and nearly ruined my chances of getting into uni because I didn't have the time I needed to prepare for all the exams.
With all that other bollocks going on, it's no wonder that you're struggling. Is there anyone at school or beyond whom you can talk to about what's going on for you? People say the urge to self-harm in hard times never really goes away, so don't beat yourself up about that, either.
On a good note, I bought a present for my ex-friend last week, but seeing as she refuses to speak to me any more, bracelet for me!!
Unexpected bonus!