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Do we just accept this is the way things are?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Has it just become the normal thing to just, cheat and be dishonest to people now? Like is it just turned into a normal human reaction now, that being honest and not sleeping around when you're in a relationship - or any aspect of cheating.
I'm not in a relationship, and haven't been for half a year, but it's just witnessing everything around me.
Like i woke up this morning to this quote;
"Don't let your girlfriend speak to another boy about her problems, a shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on"
And it's just like really, has it got to that point now...
All i see when i go to parties, go see friends, go down town... Just people that can't be trusted.
It's all fucked isn't it, society...
I'm not in a relationship, and haven't been for half a year, but it's just witnessing everything around me.
Like i woke up this morning to this quote;
"Don't let your girlfriend speak to another boy about her problems, a shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on"
And it's just like really, has it got to that point now...
All i see when i go to parties, go see friends, go down town... Just people that can't be trusted.
It's all fucked isn't it, society...
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However its not for anyone to prevent their partner speaking to anyone, but if someone is having most of their emotional needs met by someone who is not their partner, then its a slippery slope to dumpsville usually. Its not wrong to do it, but it generally is a sign of bigger problems in the relationship, and if my partner was bending the ear about his personal problems and feelings to another girl that wasnt me and crying on her shoulder, rather than talking to me about it, id definitely be concerned
Oh i completely agree with everything you've said, it's just you wouldn't need to worry so much if you actually trusted your other half - but you'd still be concerned which means there's an element of doubt.
That made me giggle :P Sorry...
I don't actually think that it's about trust, it's about being sensible. If someone is getting all their emotional support from someone who isn't you, then you don't have the closeness and intimacy that they have. And they're more likely to start seeing their emotional support in a romantic sense. After all, they won't have loads to cry about if your relationship is going well.
I think it's actually pretty reasonable to be wary of others you don't know who are very emotionally attached to your partner. After all, 50% of people in a relationship who have a poaching attempt made on them will run off with the poacher.
I'm perhaps feeling more jaded and cynical than usual, but I suspect the problem is the more adolescents seem to be paired off now than used to be the case, and they think they're in long term relationships.
That's typically how it goes in my experience :crazyeyes
I know that 50% is just your opinion, but the fact you say 50% just makes me feel eugh.
I suppose my original post didn't quite cover what i was trying to say (My heads everywhere)
But my question was meant to be, do we just expect to get cheated on, expect our partners to be unfaithful at some point, and being left for someone else just part of life...
My recent mindset has sort of put me off, people like i met this really pretty girl, we liked each other lots, hit off straight away. But constantly digging at the back of my head was "You're attractive, and i doubt this is going to be forever, so what is the point in us getting together, and 'falling in love', when you just know it's always going to end?
For reference i'm 18, so still quite young. But recently relationships, instead of ending before finding someone else, people just seem to jump ship, and it's just soul destroying.
I would say as I have before that I dont think its happening any more or less. It just happens or it doesnt. Someone might have a completely different experience to you and think the world is all hunky dory.
depends on the person. I do trust my partner, but this is one of the things i trust him not to do. In fact id be more bothered about him having a very close emotional attachment to another woman than i would if he fucked them.
I trust him a fair bit. About as much as its possible to trust someone without being an idiot. Weve been together a long time, but im not sure i believe in friend-zone, as emotional connection is quite erotic imo
It's not my opinion. Research has shown it's about that high, read it in the Grauniad's "love by numbers" column.
It comes down to mindset, really. No, a relationship probably won't be forever, especially not at 18. But it depends how you want to look at it. Yes, you'll probably split up eventually, but that does mean you shouldn't have a good time along the way? I don't even mean sexually, why deprive yourself of good company with a good person because it might end in the future? You might get hit by a bus tomorrow, after all.
Since I split from the wife I've had a couple of good experiences with good people. For a variety of reasons nothing more will come of them, but that doesn't mean I've not had a fantastic time.
I think it really depends on the person. But you only have to look at the number of threads on this board about how people have fallen in love with their best friends to understand that a deep emotional connection is extremely powerful.
The "friend zone" is mythical. It either means that there's absolutely no sexual attraction with someone, or, in many more cases, that someone doesn't want to screw up a good friendship by taking the risk of having more. It's perfectly possible to have a strong friendship with someone without being sexually attracted to them, but having a strong friendship doesn't make someone less sexually attractive.
In a lot of way relationships are a lot like faith. You can never *know* 100%. You just have to believe :-)
Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk 2
It looks as though you've calculated 24% of relationships have both partners cheating, 36% has just the man cheating, 16% has just the women cheating and 24% have both parties faithful. I suspect the proportion of relationships with both parties cheating will be higher.