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time to try and talk.....
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hey... I firstly want to say that this may be a long thread so I apologize in advance.
So recently I've not been doing so well. I haven't been talking to anybody in person about how I have been feeling, and the thought of opening up to somebody in person about how I am really feeling, scares me so much. I guess I have the fear that something is going to happen if I tell the doctor everything! I have told my doctor some stuff, but not everything.
I can't talk to my family about this, they don't care and have proven this so many times over and over, so I don't want to be rejected from them again. I always thought my family would never judge me and love me for me, but they don't.. They don't care. They think that just because I am on medication I should be okay. I wish it was that simple, but the truth is it's not that simple. Medication doesn't solve everything.
I don't know what to do any more for the best. I feel like I making all the wrong decisions at the minute. e.g. s/h and od, and bottling everything up.
I know that deep down this isn't how I want to be as a person, but I feel as though I can't change, and every time I try I fail over and over.
I have been texting the Samaritans, and they have helped me, It's helped me become a bit clearer about my thoughts and feelings that I am dealing with.
I also receive a lot of support on here, so I really appreciate all the support I do get from the amazing moderators and members on here. It means so much to me, and makes me feel less isolated.
I just wish I could talk to people in person about how I am feeling, I think that could really help me, but I don't know if I am ready to take that first step yet. I don't think I have the confidence or strength to take the first step to getting face to face support. I have been thinking about this for a while now, and keep going over things over and over in my head, but like I keep going back to the same point. What if I am not strong enough to get through face to face support? E.g counseling.
It is easier to talk to people online. I have developed friendships through using TheSite chat room and boards.
I just feel as though my family expect me to be okay. When I feel low, I get the same stuff, " You shouldn't feel this way, nothing bad has happened" or "you should be happy, you have nothing to feel low about" When I told my mum about my doctor suggesting counseling to me, she told me "you don't need counseling there is nothing wrong with you, its all in your head" That was great to hear... NOT!!
Maybe my family are right?
I have never had a close relationships with my family. Always felt like I was different to them. It breaks my heart though when I think about my youngest sister, and how much I am hurting her, by not being the sister that she deserves. </3
Anyway I have said enough, I am so sorry for the long thread. Just kind of felt like I needed to get it all out somehow.
Thank you x
So recently I've not been doing so well. I haven't been talking to anybody in person about how I have been feeling, and the thought of opening up to somebody in person about how I am really feeling, scares me so much. I guess I have the fear that something is going to happen if I tell the doctor everything! I have told my doctor some stuff, but not everything.
I can't talk to my family about this, they don't care and have proven this so many times over and over, so I don't want to be rejected from them again. I always thought my family would never judge me and love me for me, but they don't.. They don't care. They think that just because I am on medication I should be okay. I wish it was that simple, but the truth is it's not that simple. Medication doesn't solve everything.
I don't know what to do any more for the best. I feel like I making all the wrong decisions at the minute. e.g. s/h and od, and bottling everything up.
I know that deep down this isn't how I want to be as a person, but I feel as though I can't change, and every time I try I fail over and over.
I have been texting the Samaritans, and they have helped me, It's helped me become a bit clearer about my thoughts and feelings that I am dealing with.
I also receive a lot of support on here, so I really appreciate all the support I do get from the amazing moderators and members on here. It means so much to me, and makes me feel less isolated.
I just wish I could talk to people in person about how I am feeling, I think that could really help me, but I don't know if I am ready to take that first step yet. I don't think I have the confidence or strength to take the first step to getting face to face support. I have been thinking about this for a while now, and keep going over things over and over in my head, but like I keep going back to the same point. What if I am not strong enough to get through face to face support? E.g counseling.
It is easier to talk to people online. I have developed friendships through using TheSite chat room and boards.
I just feel as though my family expect me to be okay. When I feel low, I get the same stuff, " You shouldn't feel this way, nothing bad has happened" or "you should be happy, you have nothing to feel low about" When I told my mum about my doctor suggesting counseling to me, she told me "you don't need counseling there is nothing wrong with you, its all in your head" That was great to hear... NOT!!
Maybe my family are right?
I have never had a close relationships with my family. Always felt like I was different to them. It breaks my heart though when I think about my youngest sister, and how much I am hurting her, by not being the sister that she deserves. </3
Anyway I have said enough, I am so sorry for the long thread. Just kind of felt like I needed to get it all out somehow.
Thank you x
0
Comments
You are strong enough to get through face-to-face counselling. It won't be easy cos as you say you find online easier, and to be honest - I think most people do.
Online support can normally act as 'another building block to the bridge'. By this I mean, it gets your confidence up a little, and each time you're making small progress you're adding a block to the bridge to getting face-to-face support.
I think you would really benefit with talking to someone face-to-face, as online support can't really do anything 'practical', although having a place to vent is sometimes enough for some people. But for others, they could benefit more from talking face-to-face in the 'real world.
When you're ready, you'll feel more comfortable, don't think about it too much because then you over think the situation, which really, won't be how you think it is. Keep calm and relax and think of the positive outcomes you'll get out of the sessions. How happier and healthier you could become.
It all comes in time, small steps and little stepping stones and you'll be ready when you're ready.
Ive got a lot to think about dont know where to even start... Im rubbish at making decisions too.
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I agree with this. Online support can be brilliant because you can find people who have been/are going through similar without being judged. But at the same time, as supportive as these people can be, they aren't always online and sometimes people need more than venting online, although it can be the start to realising that further steps can and should be taken.
Regardless of what your family think, if you think counselling would benefit you, I personally think you should consider it, even if that means just trying it for a few sessions then deciding that no it isn't for you.
Like I've said to you before, you're a kind, caring young lady, with a lot to give, sometimes you need to take too. Lots of people want to help you and we want to help you because you're deserving of that help.
*hug* xx
I just don't see that I deserve any help to be honest I do bad things, and like I am in the wrong for everything I do... So like don't see that people should help me.
You're not in the wrong at all and you're worthy of help. Sometimes it just takes a while to find the right person to help you.
doesn't know what to do anymore for the best. *gives up*