If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Guilt trip sex
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello,
My ex used to guilt trip me into sex. Because I didn't want to do it, it was always very uncomfortable. I'm now really anxious about sex, I'm worried it will hurt and I have trust issues. Can anyone offer some advice?
My ex used to guilt trip me into sex. Because I didn't want to do it, it was always very uncomfortable. I'm now really anxious about sex, I'm worried it will hurt and I have trust issues. Can anyone offer some advice?
0
Comments
It sounds like you had a really difficult time in your last relationship, so it's totally understandable you're feeling anxious about sex. typerry92 is right in advising you not to rush anything - I'm sure that when you meet the right person and the time is right you will know it and it will feel right, even if all your anxieties haven't gone completely.
Try to remember that every new relationship is a new chapter. Even though you can't forget what happened with your ex, it doesn't mean that your next relationship will be the same.
And don't underestimate what an amazing thing you have done by getting - and staying - out of this relationship. It's not easy to leave a controlling parter, so just getting to where you are now is a huge step forward.
Thought I'd give you a couple of links to articles that might be useful - although you're out of the relationship, they might still help you in future:
Unfair sexual demands
Leaving a controlling partner
*hug*
Yeah it was really hard to break up with him, I don't even know why. I suppose I loved him because he convinced me I couldn't do better. Then when we broke up he told my friends complete rubish about me. It took me ages to see how controlling, demanding and obsessive he was so I'm glad I got out of that one. The thing is now, I've met someone and it hasn't been that long since I broke it off with my ex. I've been friends with this guy for a while and I do trust him, but if I went out with him I know I'd get paranoid. I'm not sure I like him the same amount either so I'm worried it would be cruel dating him as I could be leading him on. I think the best thing would be to wait and see how things are. Concentrate on myself for a while (as selfish as that sounds). What do you all think?