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I dont know what to do
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
So i've been seeing this girl for a while.. about six months ago, she got out of a vicious relationship that resulted in her unborn child being killed.. the man that did it is in jail now, but obviously there were some very nasty scars left. After seeing each other for a little over a month, we started actually dating, and our feelings grew very rapidly. But one day out of no where, the ghosts of that relationship came up. she broke it off with me and said she needs time, and we will try again when she feels she is ready to handle a relationship properly. but now she wont talk to me much, and is constantly in a depressed mood. all of her friends think she is fine, im the only one who knows how much pain she is in. she tells me she is in a bad mood, but wont talk to me about it. i want to see her happy, make her happy. she was happy with me. how can i get her past this point of not talking? is it really just a matter of waiting? or is there anything i can do?
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Has she had any counselling? Does she know how you feel?
xx
By all means, say to her "I'm here when you want to talk." And make sure she knows she can tell you anything, but really when she's ready to talk she will. It'll probably come out in drips and drabs, here and there, and just make sure when she is talking about it that she feels safe and secure.
It might be worth mentioning the doctors to her, just to make sure she knows that option is there should she want counselling... but if she says no don't try and force her.
Other than that, just make sure she knows how special she is and how much you care about her. Good luck.
Personally I would want to know where I stand, but she sounds fragile at the moment. It may be a case of wait and see. Maybe you could tell her that you are willing to wait as long as she wants. -if you haven't already.
She's probably feeling worried about the relationship going bad, so much so, that it has already driven a wedge between you two. xx
But if that's the case, I don't think there is anything you can do. You can try and reassure her, help her see her own worth, but in the end she has to discover that for herself. You can try to help and support her until she does, as much as possible. xx