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Sick of feeling like this.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey,
Since around February 2011 I've been feeling low almost everyday.
Just always really miserable, I'm not interested in anything I used to like, I've lost all motivation/energy to do anything, I can't see the point in anything anymore.
It's been affecting my relationship, I've been feeling bad every day and taking it out on myself, then snapping at him. He'd be better off without me, I don't even know why he puts up with me.
When I'm not like that, I just feel numb. Like, just hollow. Empty.
I told my parents eventually this August about abuse I suffered as a child from my grandfather thinking it might help and make me feel better, but it's only made me feel worse if anything. They wanted to send me to a counselor, but I refused.
I've been self-harming on and off for around a year or so now. My parents found out about that, too. They sent me to see a doctor and I just lied through my teeth about how 'I'd stopped ages ago and didn't do it anymore'.
Nothing's been mentioned about anything since then, and I feel like I've just thrown away any chance of help I had.
I decided to see someone about the bad-feelings and I've been trying to make an appointment since Tuesday, but there's still nothing.
Everyone I've tried to talk to just can't seem to take 'I don't know' as an answer to what's wrong. No one seems to understand that telling me to cheer up isn't going to make me cheery.
I just give up.
Maybe I should just end it all and get it over with.
All I do is burden and upset people with my issues anyways.
Since around February 2011 I've been feeling low almost everyday.
Just always really miserable, I'm not interested in anything I used to like, I've lost all motivation/energy to do anything, I can't see the point in anything anymore.
It's been affecting my relationship, I've been feeling bad every day and taking it out on myself, then snapping at him. He'd be better off without me, I don't even know why he puts up with me.
When I'm not like that, I just feel numb. Like, just hollow. Empty.
I told my parents eventually this August about abuse I suffered as a child from my grandfather thinking it might help and make me feel better, but it's only made me feel worse if anything. They wanted to send me to a counselor, but I refused.
I've been self-harming on and off for around a year or so now. My parents found out about that, too. They sent me to see a doctor and I just lied through my teeth about how 'I'd stopped ages ago and didn't do it anymore'.
Nothing's been mentioned about anything since then, and I feel like I've just thrown away any chance of help I had.
I decided to see someone about the bad-feelings and I've been trying to make an appointment since Tuesday, but there's still nothing.
Everyone I've tried to talk to just can't seem to take 'I don't know' as an answer to what's wrong. No one seems to understand that telling me to cheer up isn't going to make me cheery.
I just give up.
Maybe I should just end it all and get it over with.
All I do is burden and upset people with my issues anyways.
0
Comments
Sorry to feel you're feeling so low.
You don't need to end it all. It gets better. You've probably heard that a hundred times before, but it really will. Have you tried talking to your GP? If not in speaking, then in writing? It may be easier to write what you feel down on a piece of paper - as sitting in front of them, could leave you feeling like they're out to eat you or something.
Once you get the help you need and deserve, you won't see the results over night, but continuing to work with them, you'll see a difference!
I know how you feel with the self-harm. You don't want anyone to know in so many thoughts. But deep down you wish someone could take control and give you the help.
Like I said earlier, if you could book an appointment with your GP and tell them all you can, then they'll be able to refer you on to other professions.
Great bit of advice on the expectation of health professions here: http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/selfharm/expectationsfromhealthservices
I wish you all the best
I don't think they should be pushing you to get counselling, it's probably because they care so much about you and don't know what to do. But they should wait until you're ready to take that step, then you can be honest and frank about your thoughts and feelings and get the right treatment.
I'm sorry to hear it's affecting your relationship, it isn't easy to support someone you love when they're in so much pain but it sounds like he loves you and wants to try and understand.
I know my family found it hard to support me, because I'd keep lying, saying everything was fine until I'd explode and take it out on everyone.
Big hugs to you xx. *hug*
Sorry to hear you have been feeling like this, and you say this has been since May 2011, this is quite a while to be feeling so down and must be quite distressing for you. Some great replies from Sophieannnn and Reena, I do think it would be a really good idea to make an appointment to see your G.P and the idea suggesting you could maybe write everything down rather than verbally express it could be something to think about if you felt comfortable doing this,
Please don't feel that you have nowhere to turn, there is always someone here at The Site do please always post and let us know how you are feeling*hug*.
Take Care,
B.