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Church but not religion? :/
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Heya
So I went on a mountain climbing / hiking trip this weekend with my friends church 'mens group' (I'm not sure if they were trying to recruit me or not
). And what can I say. I absolutely, absolutely loved it. The guys were great, it was so intimate and so open and honest and great fun. One interesting thing the vicar said to us all: when we were up on the windy mountain, despite no organised leader, we were all looking out for each other, making sure the ones ahead and behind were ok, giving advice on footholds and handholds, just naturally being good to one another. He said basically thats what it is 'to be a man' in the 21st century (he said lots of other stuff too).
Basically I was a convert. Here was a model for a functional group of male friends who can share some extremely intimate things with each other, in complete confidence and I don't know.. it was just nice. These guys will go back to their lives after this and put on their game faces, from the professional rugby player (!!) to the father of 3 to the ambulance riding paramedic. It was weird to have people mixed together like that.
So that kind of thing made me think actually, the church probably does a really good thing for people, and for society, in bringing people together in a 'safe space' - like you might have in a womens group!
My problem is I don't believe in Jesus. I don't really believe in any notion of God. But I want to be involved with something like what these guys do and look out for one another and just be awesome.
Lots of confusing thoughts going round. Maybe someone can help.
So I went on a mountain climbing / hiking trip this weekend with my friends church 'mens group' (I'm not sure if they were trying to recruit me or not
). And what can I say. I absolutely, absolutely loved it. The guys were great, it was so intimate and so open and honest and great fun. One interesting thing the vicar said to us all: when we were up on the windy mountain, despite no organised leader, we were all looking out for each other, making sure the ones ahead and behind were ok, giving advice on footholds and handholds, just naturally being good to one another. He said basically thats what it is 'to be a man' in the 21st century (he said lots of other stuff too).Basically I was a convert. Here was a model for a functional group of male friends who can share some extremely intimate things with each other, in complete confidence and I don't know.. it was just nice. These guys will go back to their lives after this and put on their game faces, from the professional rugby player (!!) to the father of 3 to the ambulance riding paramedic. It was weird to have people mixed together like that.
So that kind of thing made me think actually, the church probably does a really good thing for people, and for society, in bringing people together in a 'safe space' - like you might have in a womens group!
My problem is I don't believe in Jesus. I don't really believe in any notion of God. But I want to be involved with something like what these guys do and look out for one another and just be awesome.
Lots of confusing thoughts going round. Maybe someone can help.
0
Comments
I'm not a religious person in the slightest, but I also have an immense respect for others who have received the gift of faith. I snook into what passed as a church for us when I was in Afghanistan once or twice after some pretty horrendous days. Not to pray or ask for Gods blessing, but because for some reason I always find that a church is a calming and relatively chilled out place. Also, the padre (army speak for vicar/priest) was also very easy to talk to, and knew an awful lot of the bible; not used to try and convert me, but used as stories with useful meaning to give me solace.
Sounds like you had an extremely positive experience, if I was you I would be begging to have another experience such as yours. As for the faith issue, that's something to chat to the institution about.
There are other men's groups which don't rely upon faith - but thats more of the hippy-ilk me thinks (like mens camp and such).
It's great that you had such a great time on this trip, and it's understandable that you enjoyed this kind of friendly social and fun aspect, with what seems like respect, loyalty and thoughtfulness between you all.
Would you be able to share this concern with the Vicar? Could you say how much you enjoy all this but have struggled with the religious aspect?
Otherwise perhaps finding a place to volunteer could be an idea? Finding a group that has similar interest and caring about same things could create a very similar ambience. Have a look at do-it.org so see what's out there
It totally depends on the church. For example, if I knew someone was coming along to the young adults fellowship I run at church, but without any interest in faith, I'd still be really glad they were enjoying socialising with us.
But some will take a more evangelical view and see anyone in the group as someone to convert.
I'm trying to find my own local group of good folk, but not having much luck. Damn being an extreme introvert.
I guess my point (sorry for the rambling was trying to explain what I meant) is that I bet you can fit in with them without religion being an issue. Do you feel it would be an issue for you? Or will they accept you for who you are? You shouldn't change for them!
I have met some beautiful people at Buddhist groups (despite not making tonight's session... boooo).
In some ways, I'm glad I wasn't born male because I have male friends, some of who are very sensitive people, but who feel such pressure to be all tough and live up to this gender stereotype.
Shyboy, are you interested in Buddhism, or at least meditation at all? The group I go to isn't evangelical and you don't have to be Buddhist to go, or if you identify as such, you don't have to be a super strict meditating veggie sober monk type person... I was apprehensive, as I thought that it might be a bit fluffy and about unicorns farting rainbows, but it was actually mostly positive psychology, thinking for yourself and chilling out.
The only problem with continuing to hang around with this group is geographically they are a long way away from me.