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be nasty to me!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
:eek:please? i can handle that so much easier! :eek:
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Sorry, can't do it. Don't know you well enough.
Sounds like you're looking for some distraction?
Not going to be very helpful for us to be nasty to you, so maybe we could try and make you smile/laugh instead?
What's your sense of humour like? Silly :razz: or dark? :shocking:
...Is that not an insult?
I don't s/h in the "traditional sense"...but I do cause myself pain to replace the emotional.
Have you tried squeezing ice cubes...it hurts but is pretty much harmless...
I guess the only true way you will stop s/h'ing though, is by facing up to the issues causing you emotional pain and working through them. Easier said than done, I know...
A lot of people say they get a sense of release when they s/h.
I don't know if there is any universal reason why people s/h, i.e. perhaps it's a very personal thing and has various explanations from person to person.
Sometimes it seems like it may be the 'lesser of evils' if you have bottled up a lot of emotional stuff, and you feel unable to find ways of releasing such emotion.
Suggesting counselling, or talking about things, often doesn't seem to be received and perceived as an option for addressing s/h by the person that does it.
Perhaps with some folk the thought of making any attempt to lift the lid, even a little bit, on really painful stuff is just too much to contemplate.
Talking about very strong emotions can be hard, particularly if you feel conflicted, such as feeling extremely angry with someone that you love, or maybe feel you should love, and instead of loving them, you feel like hating them. Or maybe you swing between the two extremes of emotion, and then get to a stage where it's easier to bury how you feel than to keep thinking about such conflicts.
Maybe what happens is a bit like packing loads of stuff into that cupboard under the stairs, you jam in as much as you can, and then push like mad to force the door closed. From then on, you dare not open the door as stuff will fly out all over the place.
Or/and, maybe there is an addictive element - a bit like knowing that you shouldn't scratch a sore wound that itches, but somehow you get drawn to it as if caught up in a magnetic field. When you start scratching there is a massive sense of relief and for a moment an emotional high, but then afterwards you know that any relief was only fleeting, and so you slip back into depression knowing that you've only made things worse.
My guess is that your resolve not to s/h is in part affected by your level of self-esteem, so maybe anything that can lift it will help to resist the urge?
Doing something that you enjoy and are good at, could perhaps lift your sense of self and also act as a distraction?
Jed