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Family issues

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
so, i've had a lot off issues with my family, particularly my Mum, i moved out over a year ago and was privately fostered for a while as my mum was hitting me and we was fighting a lot so social services got involved blahh blahh blahh,

Being fostered was great i was one of the family i loved them, but my Mother kept texting me saying very irrational things so i met up with her, turns out she had been trying to kill herself and she told me should would go off and do it again unless i moved back in with her, she said she needed me and that she was sorry for everything and that she loved me. I decided to move back in as i am 17 now so was allowed and i couldn't deal with the thought of her killing herself over me (BAD IDEA) My life has been turned upside down she hasnt changed we fight all the time she wont get help ive tried to take her to a councellor she wont accept my help.

The weird thing is ive stopped loving my Mother, its like this connection i used to have has just snapped... i left my foster parents for her and she doesnt care about the stress ive gone through over her.

Ive had suicidal thoughts and have had a hard time controlling myself not to do anything stupid lately and im just stuck not knowing what to do. I'm still in touch with my foster parents who are trying to find me a place to stay, they are very helpful but this waiting game is just killing me i have no money no way of getting away from her!

I know you guys probably cant think of a solution but its nice to know that i can chat with you guys about my problems and you always try to give the best advice you can so thank you!

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you spoken to Social Services?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yep, and im too old for them to help me but they advised me to go to a homeless shelter... which if im being honest is my last resort :/
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Are you not able to go back to your foster family?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok, I understand.

    How about the YMCA? They provide accommodation for young women?

    Or try Citizen’s Advice Bureaux. Because of your situation you might be considered for Housing Benefit. These days most places have private landlords who will accept HB.

    Some info here:-

    http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/housing_e/housing_finding_a_place_to_live_e/young_people_and_housing.htm

    What are SSD doing re your mum? She sounds quite ill. If she has been violent towards you, and is threatening to take her own life, someone from SSD should be around and prepared to consider a section under the Mental Health Act. Sounds as if she needs hospitalising for her own safety and the safety of others.

    If you consider that she is a risk to her self or others due to the state of her mental health, I suggest you put that in writing and send a copy to her GP and SSD Mental Health Team. You might find that someone starts taking notice if there is a letter on record.

    I expect your feelings towards your mother have closed down due to the stress you are under - this must be a horrible experience for you. I hope something helpful comes up soon.

    Jed
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you for the reply, and i may contact ymca was going to apply soon actually see what happens, and I know my Mum would refuse to be hospitalized and seeing as im not 18 yet im not sure if i could get her sectioned but i would like her to at least go to councelling but she wont

    To Scorp, as i am no longed under social services my foster parents would have to pay for me which i dont think is fair and my Mother would try stop me as she can now, they did say they would consider it once i turned 18 as they dont want confrontation with my Mum which is understandable
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A section is made under the Mental Health Act when someone is a risk to themselves or others due to being seriously mental ill - which your mother sounds to be.

    Mostly, people are offered treatment on a voluntary basis, and then if they refuse they are admitted to hospital under the section, and choice isn't an issue.

    You wouldn't be responsible for her being sectioned, all you can do is to make the relevant people aware of her condition. It may seem a hard thing to consider, but if she is that ill, it's for her own good. It's up to the Mental Health team and a doctor to make the decision.

    Based on your post, you are a victim of Domestic Violence, and because of this you might be considered a special case for help with accommodation. It's not as if you are just deciding to leave home on a whim.

    On this link there are some addresses of agencies that may be able to help you, try any that are in your area:-

    http://victimservices.justice.gov.uk/

    CAB are very good, and they will know of any help in your area, and advise you on getting funding.

    Jed
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you, will see what they say :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Select the 'Domestic Violence' option on the linked page.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok, fingers crossed! :)
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