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How far do you take it?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
A very close friend of mine was telling me about her dating habits - she been single for 3 years and she's just decided she likes men as well as women. So she's been on several dating websites and she has friends matchmaking left right and centre. At the moment she's seeing 2 people who she really likes and she only been on a couple of dates but she was asking me was she wrong to do that. I said I thought it was fine, but I asked how far she was going to take it and she said she didn't know.
I've not been in a situation like that so I really didn't know what to say! How far would you take it before you go with one or the other?
I've not been in a situation like that so I really didn't know what to say! How far would you take it before you go with one or the other?
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If they do know about each other (and while they may not know for sure, they shouldn't expect to be the only one), I refer you to point a above. Though if that's not what she wants she's still got a decision to make, albeit with slightly less urgency.
As for how far I would take it - if they were both happy with the arrangement I would carry on until that changed.
I would say if you're making out at the end of the dates and arranging overnight stays then yea that's a one person only type thing because its on the cusp of being a relationship. Also I don't think the datees have any right to necessarily know about other datees at least until it's getting more serious / exclusive.
I've dated girls who it then emerged were sleeping with other people while we were dating (drunk guilt brought it to light months later - I don't think I needed to know!) but it was all cool in the end because we weren't that far down the dating tree at that point.
I'm quite easy going about dates though, they don't have to be make or break 'is this person marriage material / are we going to sex tonight' but rather 'do I get along with this person either as a friend or potential girlfriend'.
I understand how she feels cos I've had similar happen to me but it seems like she's kind of relationship hedge betting... Not sure how I feel about that.
She also asked how does she choose. I said do the pros and cons thing, but that's difficult when you've only been on a couple of dates with them. Any other ideas?
If its getting serious you just choose the one you like more and/or the more handsome / less crazy one.