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24 feeling alone and depressed for many reasons.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi im looking for some advice on how to better myself. I have been seeing a therapist as of late because the last therapist i had just was not helping, and while this one is doing a good job i still feel a bit depressed sometimes. number one my love life has always sucked, ive never had a girlfriend and ive always wanted one since i was 14, i did have sex with a woman two years ago at a bar, but that was the last and only time so far i got laid. ive never thought i was horrible looking, but never really considered myself a great beauty even though my parents and alot of people say i am a nice looking guy, im 6 feet tall, brownish hair, green eyes, and i am clean cut, shave everyday and have short hair. anyhow on my part I am shy so asking someone out for me is really a nerve wracking situation where i sweat and get nervous, and i dont have any women friends because around women im shy and a bit timid. and while i know i have to join causes and places of venue to meet women and friends in general its hard for me, ive gotten so desperate that ive tried online dating sites but no luck and it really makes me sick sometimes to see happy couples and be all alone. im an art student and im proud of my art and alot of people say my art is good, but in my classes im shy and even when i present my work no one seems to really like it, and i cover up the fact that im not confident by faking that i am, so they dont know that about me but still. other part of my life that sucks is im looking for a job and have found nothing and im still living at home with my parents and grandma, and while i like them i feel like im still being treated like im 16, the reason im looking for a job is cause i want to get out of the house and start my own life. i feel alot of jealousy towards my cousins because they are all getting married and seem happy, and im not married and feel alone and my grandma told me about how great they were and said nothing positive about me, plus she said i had a belly which i dont because I work out i walk 2 miles most days im not in school and run once a week and im a pescaterian so most of my diet is vegeterian other half is fish. also some of my friends have moved away to transfer to other schools and im worried we wont stay in contact, and the few friends i have here, i seem to think might take me for granted I always seem to be the one who has to call to arrange a hangout day, they never do the same. part of it is i used to bring up these issues with my parents but i dont anymore cause i dont want to worry them, i do talk with my therpaist about all this. i cover up all my sadness and feeling depressed by trying to be funny or smile at people, but in reality i sometimes feel miserable. i know i have my art to focus on and looking for a job and all and i just have to keep my head up but the fact is i am not very happy.Old Mad:(:impissed:
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Comments
make a change. change something small or big. change something radical.
How are you doing today?
You spoke about looking for a job ( how is that going )and starting a new journey, getting out of your parents home and setting up your own. May be these are the small changes that will enable you to feel good about yourself?
Keep us posted
I was really moved by ur post, I have been feeling the same recently - and posted a thread recently about it. I reckon 24 is one of the hardest ages to be nowadays as it is such a transitionary period with so many conflicting expectations around us. I often feel that I should have had certain experiences by now and I haven't, and I don't have the excuse of 'being young' anymore. Hey, I'm worse!- I'm a girl and still a virgin. I used to take pride in it but now I would do anything to meet someone who just wanted to care for me. I have made a lot of attempts to be friendly to people, to men and women, but always feel it is me who makes the most effort. Iv even tried to be friends with guys iv dated in the past and obviously they don't want to know me. It's so hard to navigate relationships when u don't know how the other person feels. So I really feel for u, i wish I knew the simpler formula other people seem to have for making friends, being confident and finding a relationship to have fun in. I feel I miss out on so much because I don't have a boyfriend to go to parties with, gigs with the movies and all that, I'm too shy to do stuff on my own. And apparently I'm very good looking-but still don't believe this, and my some close friends say other women ny age find that threatening so am more likely to get excluded.
Whatever!
But maybe its not simple. I have come to think a lot of people are in relationships that they r not happy in, and are doing it or having sex because they feel they should do being of a certain age. they would be envious that your young, free and single! And remember there is nothing more attractive than someone who is comfortable in their own skin and takes an interest in other people. I read that somewhere and I think its good advice.
Be true to yourself and people will respect u for it. I worry I'm a sad person as I haven't had sex yet, but Mon the other hand, iv never felt comfortable enough with someone yet. Maybe that means iv been true to myself and its a good thing. All about perspective eh!!
With regard to your confidence. Pretending to be confident is an excellent way to start! It is attractive and people r drawn to it. Saying you r busy, which is often true, is also a good way of ironically keeping and attracting friends. It gives u space without feedinglonely.
Hope this helps. Good luck and get absorbed in a new project or some good fiction books to escape into maybe..
thank you well, i guess i just gotta keep going and keep trying to be positive, i have some of my art that goes into galleries so im happy about that, but i just wish i had more friends to share it with, and i really would like a girlfriend, i know people tell me not to look for a girlfriend and when i get a job and volunteer thats when ill meet someone, i dont think im a hunk but i think im decent looking, and yeah i feel weird too old to be young and too young to be old. the problem was in high school i was sort of introvertted, i had some friends but that was about it and i felt i never fit in i rarely went to school dances and when i did no one danced with me and i didint dare ask someone to dance because they would have just said no anyways. and even now what hurts is yesterday i went to my favorite karaoke bar with my friend and i got asked twice to dance with this girl, and i really should have been the one to have asked her but im kinda awkward, once i got up there with her i felt okay, but what really hurt is when she danced with this other guy who wasint even her boyfriend because she is single, and he held her close and when i danced with the woman i barely touched her because of feeling shy and not wanting to violate her, but it really hurt because i really liked her and wanted to get to know her and he sort of stole her away from me, i feel like if this keeps happening what good is living life really. weird thing is im not bragging, but im sort of considered a pretty boy, and athletic i mean i work out, im mostly a vegeterian except for fish, i run alot i have good hygiene and yet women pay little attention to me, ive sometimes worried if its because im too nice and maybe they think im gay. but its a shame because i feel like im missing out so much on being happy and living with someone and having someone to tell you they love you at night, and spend time with, i dont know what any of that is like because ive never had it. at least i got laid once but that was were over and done with, and im thinking of moving because the san francisco bay area seems like a hard place to meet anyone.
I just turned 24 and have been feeling more alone than ever and just came across your thread. It's funny, because what you describe about your sex life is the same as mine. It's not funny, but very coincidental for me. I'm 6 feet tall and am skinny, not very muscular but run a lot. I work with and hang out with friends who know few single girls and unfortunately I'm just as nervous asking a girl out or being forward as you described last September.
What has ever come about for you? Have things changed for the better? What advice can you share?