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Too much worrying and can't cope

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Health & Wellbeing
I think I am going crazy and I don't know what to do. I feel so frustrated and I feel like pulling my hair out sometimes. And I tried talking to a friend but I couldn't say everything that I was feeling and I ended up looking so stupid. I just worry too much about everything, and I can't help it. It's got to the point now where I think "what's the next problem going to be once this one is over". My head just will not stop worrying and from the moment when I wake up, to the moment I manage to fall asleep I am worrying. Sometimes for a few moments I forget and I feel so free, but as soon as I have that feeling (like butterflies in my stomach) I think to myself that this is not normal and I go back to worrying about the last problem. I'm going on holiday later on this year, and anyone would be excited, but I can't help but worry that we chose the wrong place, or we're gonna get ill and/or die. It's got to the point where I don't even want to talk about it and I am dreading going. I've been worrying about it for about 3 weeks now, and I am sick of it. And if I wasn't worried about that, it would be something else. A couple of time in the last few weeks when the sun has been shining in my room I feel so positive and hopeful, and that nothing can get me down, but after a little while that feeling goes and I would do anything to get it back. I try to distract myself by watching tv/films/playing computer games but nothing works. I can hide my worry in front of other people and look happy and like nothing is wrong but the feeling is still inside. I can't talk to my family about this because they won't understand. I used to self harm and I told my parents that I used to cut myself no ones mentioned it since (I haven't self harmed for about 3 years now and feel no desire to).

I am very sorry if I sound like I'm whining (I don't usually burden people with my problems) but I hope someone can just tell me what to do to get rid of all this crap in my head.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey dotty and welcome to TheSite :wave:

    Did it help at all to write that all down? Being able to get it out of your head can really help and that's what the discussion boards are here for :)

    First off, I'm sure you're not going crazy.. it's easy to let our thoughts spiral sometimes and it sounds like you're internalising everything and managing to work yourself up quite a bit. Talking can really help, even if you've tried before and felt silly, if this is starting to impact on your day to day life then it might be worth thinking about seeking some support and having another go at talking to a friend or family member.

    Like you say, a holiday should be something to look forward to and it's a shame that you're finding yourself so caught up in the details that you're starting to wish you weren't going when in fact it sounds like a holiday is just what you need and you deserve to have some time out to relax and unwind.

    This article from TheSite on getting help for anxiety might be useful for you to read:http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/anxietyandstress/anxietygettinghelp

    You're certainly not alone in having these kind of feelings, we don't think you're whining and sharing your problems is a really brave step, try not to feel like a burden. We're always here to listen :heart:

    You could start by making an appointment with your GP, you could talk about some of what you have mentioned here and let them know about the steps you have been trying to cope but that they only seem to be very short term solutions for you at the moment.

    It might also help to keep a diary of the kind of things that trigger your worries and the things that help too..

    I've also just remembered this other article about being positive: http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/wellbeing/lookingafteryourself/beingpositive - it's got some really good practical things you can try out.

    Let us know how you're getting on and keep posting *hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Confronting worries and having a day to myslef

    When i tend to worry about things too much i often take a mini holiday, not a real one, but just a break from everything and every one, i either stick my head in a book, or take a day to myself to think things through, analyse things and collect my thoughts, as when i worry all my problems seem to get mixed up and it seems at lot worse than it actually is, so i organise my head and fantasise about solutions to each of my worries, if it help (it does for me) talk aloud, confront yourself.
    When it comes to your holiday and you havent stopped worrying, just try to have as much fun as you can, i find that when i am happy and away from where my problems are i leave my worries behind
    Hope this helps
    Kathryn xxx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Jo, thank you so much for your reply, it kind of makes me feel like I'm not alone and someone kind of understands me a bit, and writing on here did help a little bit. Talking to friends or family is not really an option, I just feel so uneasy about someone I know knowing about this, and possibly telling someone else. I also hate going to the doctor, and I don't want to waste their time with this when someone who is really ill needs them. I wouldn't even know what to say to them.

    I've actually stopped worrying about the holiday for the moment (I've put it to the back of my mind and am forcing myself not to think about it, and if anyone mentions it I just change the subject). I've started worrying about something else, but it's not as intense and I try to reassure myself that everything is going to be ok - sometimes this works. I liked the positive thinking link you posted and I have enrolled myself in exercise classes once a week. I'm hoping that this will take my mind off things for an hour or so. I'm just hoping this will pass soon. I hate that this is kind of taking over my life and making me down.


    Hi Kathryn, thank you for your reply and tips. I try to do what I enjoy like watching films, but I end up zoning out and just end up thinking about what I was worrying about. I also don't like doing some things I used to enjoy before like painting my nails, shopping and listening to music. I actually used to be a big daydreamer but recently I've stopped. I might try talking my worries aloud and see where that leads me.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey dotty, I'm really glad the being positive link helped and well done for enrolling in the exercise class, that's great! Exercise is well known to be great at helping with stress.

    Sounds like being able to talk here is helping so feel free to keep us updated and have a vent whenever you need to. Maybe you could give some of those things like painting your nails and listening to music a go one evening too?

    There's not going to be one thing to magically fix how you've been feeling but lots of little steps should help and it sounds like you'e on the right track :)

    One thing I would say is that you shouldn't feel that your problems are a 'waste of time' for the GP. Your problems are individual to you and yes we all have varying degrees of illness both mental and physical but it doesn't mean that anyone is more deserving of help and support. Telling the GP some of what you told us here would be absolutely fine, they may be able to offer you some other practical bits of advice or refer you to talk to someone if you'd like to. If you're not ready for that then that's ok but I just wanted to reassure you :heart:
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