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Do you worry you will end up alone ?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi
To anyone else who is eternally single. Do you worry you'll always be alone?. I'm 28 years old and can't for the life in me figure out why i never attract the attention of women. I have a decent job, house, a couple of hobbies, am a decent guy that doesn't mess people around. The only attention from women i get is when they want someone to moan to about their alcoholic, low life, gambing addicted boyfriends.
I'm getting to the age now where i would love to be in a meaningful relationship and possibly settle down, but i don't exist to women.
Andy
To anyone else who is eternally single. Do you worry you'll always be alone?. I'm 28 years old and can't for the life in me figure out why i never attract the attention of women. I have a decent job, house, a couple of hobbies, am a decent guy that doesn't mess people around. The only attention from women i get is when they want someone to moan to about their alcoholic, low life, gambing addicted boyfriends.
I'm getting to the age now where i would love to be in a meaningful relationship and possibly settle down, but i don't exist to women.
Andy
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Comments
What drives me mad is how I keep meeting guys that have zero drive to impress me. I'm not saying I want a knight in shining armor but I've been meeting SO many men that either show all signs of wanting to get to know me better but don't do a damn thing to make it happen or men that think I am going to want to do something stupid like go on a cruise around town with them. Sleazy!!! :yuck:
I respect every guy who has the guts to ask me out properly, behaves like a man (confidence!!) and shows me respect. No, I'm not going to be saying yes to everybody but it's the only chance I will say yes. There's no need to be flashing cash either, I personally just want to meet men in an environment where we can get to know each other.
Take a little control of the situation before the girls you meet decide you're lacking spine and instead use you to complain about the other men they're meeting.
Jaloux ....... Lol, guess i'll just resign myself to being single as I'll admit i do resent the fact that as you say above, basically the guy has to do all the work while the woman does nowt !!. I have to impress then, ask them out etc. To be honest i think my feelings are mutual with my group of mates ....... the only one who gets the dates are the lowlifes that the women then complain about. I guess the typical female attitude and that of most decent guys are at opposite ends of the scale.
Andy
I think what I fear more than being on my own when Im all old is being with someone for 15/20 years, having children and then splitting up and THEN being old and lonely AFTER having met and lived with someone. Least now if Im single then Im single forever but to commit yourself and share your life with someone to then suddenly become single again (even if it ended for a reason) is the worst senario for me. And the worst thing about that is that you NEVER really know if that is going to happen or not. And. Breathe.
I can' totally understand how you feel I'm 26 and its been over 18 months since I had 'any attention' I have just got back from Ibiza and not one guy tried it on I feel like total s*?t I don't think I'm ugly or anything and I am a nice person and when I do get men they all cheat on me.
Things are getting really bad just now as I've been ill for the past 13 months on and off but bascially on since May I'm not back to work full time and if I'm not in 4 weeks my pay will be getting cut and I can't afford it. I've hardly been out since May and if I do get reduced hours I won't be able to go out cos I'll be skint all the time. Im hardly hearing from my friends cos they are sick of me being ill I just feel I'm going to be friendless, jobless etc soon and not worth existing.
All my friends seem to have b/fs just now and I'm sooo lonely wish I could go to the cinema with someone thats all I want!
Sorry for the rant feeling really down
If you feel this way about the whole thing, then perhaps it's no wonder you find it hard to pick girls up. I guarantee that just because you feel this way, you're no more decent than the guys that are willing to put their necks on the line and play the game.
Girls aren't doing 'nowt', but you have to face the fact that girls play their role in the dating game differently than men. Women usually do behave more subtly, we hint at things and do enjoy to be chased so we tend to play things to be that way. We also get away with it so why settle for less?
When I meet guys that are too scared to admit in some way that they like me, red flags do pop up. I keep wondering what it tells me about the guy, isn't he confident? Do I intimidate him? Then I soon stop wondering and start looking around for other males willing to approach me. Chances are the other guys will still be around in case things go really bad for me and I need an ego boost. I still won't sleep with them though.
Because girls are just as manipulative lowlifes as the 'non-decent' guys you mention. :flirt:
Hey,
No problem
Also, what do you do to find yourself a bloke?, no offence but i find literally all women (except about 0.0001%) do ABSOLUTELY nothing to try and find themselves a guy, they expect to just be hit on by the tall, rich, good looking guy while doing nowt themselves !!
Also, not that i'm saying your lying, but when most women who say they haven't had any attention in 18 months, once you question them a little more they actually change their comments to something on the lines of 'guys hit on me on a daily basis, however they are not that one single male who is tall, good looking and rich, i don't want them so i don't even count their approaches.
Andy
Hey,
Lol ........ thanks for your comments. Looks like i'll stay single then. At least on the upside, at the rate i'm going, if i don't marry / have kids i'll be in a position to pay off my mortgage and semi retire by about 45 .... wohoooo !!!
Andy
I think it's normal to think like that sometimes if you're single for long periods, however try to focus on friends and other activities if you do think you're thinking like this very often.
By my experience, it is a myth that women have lasting relationships with "undecent" men according to the definition you bring to the table here. Yes, it's true that many women fall for the complete jerk type of guy, but in my experience, even if they do, these relationships tend to be more like flings and not very long lasting. However, so many women do hate signs of weakness in the bloke or dating, so if you're the nice guy that they always can rely on, that they always can talk to, in order words if you're the predictable guy that offers no surprises, one is going to fall in the "just friends" trap.
I do think one successful approach is to try to be clear towards these women. In the beginning, be flirty, dare to say stuff that's not considered to be "appropriate" in a dating setting. I'm not saying you should act like a rude asshole, but do your jokes as you would around other friends, even sexual jokes could be ok up to some point. The bottom line is that you show that you're not dependent on playing according to the "predefined" rules (that has been defined by women that think they do know what they want in a guy, but then goes ahead and chooses the exact opposite).
Also, don't expect the exact same stuff to work on every woman. Everyone is different, so one always has to consider the option, that you will be let down at some points before you find the right one. The trick is to accept a let down "gracefully", meaning you don't act very disappointed around her. Show her that you're not dependent upon her attraction and move on.
Everyone has to make some effort to get a date. It's part and parcel of the fun of the dating game. If you come across as uninterested, surly and bitter no-one will dare approach you to chat you up. I do agree with what T-Kay has said. It's easy to feel let down when you've been single a while.
Not all women want tall, good looking and rich by the way. That whole atttitude is a bitter single way of looking at it and you need to try and get it out of the way otherwise no you'll never find a good lass as you'll let it eat you away. The majority of women don't want model good looks (they make us insecure), the majority of women don't look for rich men, the majority of women don't care about height. What most lasses want is a decent, fun bloke who is respectful to them, treats them well yet is independant and his own person.
Because you see if i felt the same way as you i could say every bloke wants a bubbly, buxom blonde bimbo as their girlfriend and us mousey haired normal women don't stand a chance. But i don't think like that because those sort of blokes are not the sort i'd want to date anyway. Also agree with T-Kay that you can't let yourself fall into the "shoulder to cry on" friend routine.
I'm not worried about ending up alone. I'd rather be alone than in a meaningless relationship. I've been single a long time now and that's because no bloke recently has given me butterflies or ignited a spark of interest. And until they do i'm happy to remain doing my own thing.
Theres then the inadvertant living up to expectations
Exactly what I was thinking.
Get a dog instead. Much less maintenance.
Unless she's the gf?
HAHA! Best post I've read in a while
Just a heads up to say it's good to look at the date on a thread before you post in it, this one if from 2008 - of course feel free to start a new thread on anything you'd like to talk about