Want to do more in bed...

Former Member · August 2011

Hey,

I love sex with my missus, my complaint here is that shes not so adventurous as i would like, now i know i cant expect her to do whatever i like because she is her own person with her own desires of what she wants and dont want...but...

When we have sex it normally always starts with me on top of her, then we may do doggie style, maybe when im on top we might try differant sort of positions like sideways or with her legs up or something but she dont go on top of me, that does not bother me, im just saying what we do...

Let me say that i love going down on her, if i had the option of doing anything i want with a girl or getting anything i want from a girl but i could only do one thing, i would say i want to go down on her, i love it.... But we been together 5 years and ive hardly ever done that, she never wants me too and it is a bit frustrating, also she rarely gives me a blowjob, sometimes she does but it will be really quick and then she wants to move onto sex.

One time she did it for a while and it felt so good, it was such a nice feeling i felt in heaven and i didnt want her to stop but she did and i was saying please dont stop lol just let me finish like that but she said no i dont want you to finish in my mouth, i said ill tell you before i finish but she said no way...

Also a fantasy of mine has always been a 69, we did that once and she got on top of me and with her giving me head and me giving her the same i can say that was the best sexual experiance ever, it was so exciting for me, but after about 20 seconds she got off and said she felt shy and never tried it again...

So you can see my fantasies are not exactly perverse but sometimes i wish she would loosen up a bit...

We were both virgins when we met, sex is good, but has anyone got any advice to give me, do you think i should just be happy with what she wants and kind of take what i can get (that sounds wrong but you know what i mean) Do you think its wrong to try and convince her to do it if she dont really want to?

Thanks

Harek...

Former Member · August 2011

it could just be down to confidence issues my friend, every woman has them, some times its to do with there body or just general performance, try to convince her to explore sex more, an give her the comfort and support, show her your too judgemental an she does a good job, sometimes it can be down to society's view of "self respect" its completely inaccurate, if your a couple she you should free to explore sex (Y), maybe its just down to having a very long chat and explaining why it effects you. Because when it gets boring in the bedroom it can effect soo soo soo much in a relationship, it sounds silly and exaggerated, but its true.

Just confront her, give her some confidence and explain that she shouldn't be afraid to explore if your committed

Have fun ;D
- JD

Former Member · August 2011

Don't try to convice her to do something she doesn't want to do.

Former Member · August 2011

You've been together for qutie some time, shouldn't hurt to explore new things. I'm sure if you discuss it with her, she'll be willing to try a few new positions, spice it up a bit. But if she doesn't, don't push it. Ask her.

Former Member · August 2011

maybe shes just doesnt really enjoy sex, or maybe shes not that into you?

Former Member · August 2011

Hard questions. Ones I had to answer after my (ex) wife and had our second child. She lost interest in the physical side of things, and although I loved her, I was so frustrated that I went with another person.. thought I was in love with her, got divorced, moved in with new lady didn't work...

All ended happily for me- amicable settlement for the ex. Our sons still visit me regularly and we've all moved on. I have a relationship with a younger lady, who happily likes older active men, loves me going down on her, and sucking me, plus lots of other stuff. As for whether we love each other.. well... she's married... and that's where it begins to get complicated.

My advice is to work out how important it is for you. Convey that importance to her. And if she cannot or will not understand, then, depending on how much importance you give it.. you might have to think beyond that relationship. Harsh.. but.. ultimately, you may be happy.. and like my ex, she now happy with someone else. Ultimately ended up with a win-win situation (and win for our sons too) but going through it at the time was hard, man!

Former Member · August 2011

Have you asked her what she actually wants?

There seems to be a real lack of non-sexual foreplay as well...that bits really important too!

Former Member · September 2011

I hear you man...about all of it. I love giving oral too, and 69s are the best :crazyeyes I have, and still to a lesser extent am still going through the same thing. It can definitely be frustrating, and while i think it is important for you to worry about what she wants I think equal sexual satisfaction is important for both members of a relationship.

For me, what worked after three years, was a lot of talking, being honest, letting her know what I was interested in, moving slowly (which after 5 years you are definitely doing), making her feel comfortable, and honestly, when she was ready and comfortable with the idea, I ended up making a deal with her. She got something she wanted and I got something I wanted (69) :yippe:

It also took keeping her happy emotionally which involved her growing a hobby and exercises with me. One she was happy, her sex drive increased which is important in the whole matter. If she is not into it, shes not going to be into it anything outside of you taking charge. With that in mind, she would be on top more often, and I let her take charge and empowered her sexually. That definitely helped

Want to do more in bed...

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