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Eating Disorders

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
How do you recognise if you, or a friend has an eating disorder?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    they're not eating, they eat strange things, they eat in a strange way, with lots of 'rituals' that other people find obsessive or weird.

    they lie constantly about what they last ate, where they're eating, when they're eating. they tend not to eat in public, usually making an excuse like 'i don't feel well', 'i had a huge breakfast'.

    they are in absolute denial that there is a problem.

    they have lost a LOT of weight, they have blue-tinged features, they wear lots of baggy clothes, lots of layers. they have more hair on their faces and arms than most people. this is a fairly recent development. they look pale.

    bulimics it is harder to tell, cause they often don't lose much weight, but they will disappear as soon as they've eaten, avoid eating if there's no way they can get to the bathroom after, eat loads and loads and not seem to put on any weight, appear bloated, red faced, watery eyed. there are often twin grzes on the first two fingers of whichever hand they use to throw up. they, again, will lie about what they ate and when, and will be in total denial.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This feature tells you about the signs and how to help a friend with an eating disorder. There are also lots of other useful features in our health info section.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think what the others have said before me about somes it up and must agree, especially about what kaffrin had said about the bulimia signs because I used to be bulimic and it was always hard for me to hide it or to even do it, especially while in school because I was a Junior in high school when I had started with bulimia and if and when I would eat lunch, I could never go to the bathroom and purge, so I always felt disgusting because of having the food in my stomach and not being able to get rid of it, but guess I will just end this here for now. Probably didn't want to know all that, but hey, thought that I would just throw it out there anyways.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank u cherrubs!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I read this artical on people with eating disorders:

    People suffering with an Eating Disorder often have a distorted perception of their body and personality. Also read the section on Negative Voices.

    "What I Think of Me... I'm fat... I'm a horrible person... I must deserve this... It's my own fault... My problems don't matter... Others don't deserve an Eating Disorder, but I'm different..."

    It is all too common for people living with Anorexia and Bulimia to have a mild to severe distorted perception of themselves. What is seen in the mirror isn't reality, and when they compare their physical or personality attributes to others they are extrememly judgemental of themselves. A person suffering with Anorexia or Bulimia may see another person and think "I wish I could be as skinny as them" and in reality, may actually be thinner. They may wish to be as smart, as funny or as compassionate as another person that they are equally as good as -- the bottom line is that they cannot see their own good traits, especially in comparison to others, because of the low self-esteem they have of themselves.

    A good example of a distorted perception is black and white thinking... Thinking that bad situations or feelings are the complete end of the world, and good situations or emotions are as bright as the sun. There is no stability or "normalized" thinking with a middle ground, but harsh swings from one extreme to another. Combined with this is irrational behavior that is not okay for others, but okay for the person suffering with the Eating Disorder. An example would be: "when I eat I am just a horrible awful person and deserve to die, but when I don't I am the best little girl in the world."

    A lot of times, men and women suffering with an Eating Disorder unfairly personalize the actions around them. They may think that everything someone says or does in some way is a reflection of them. For example: If during a group conversation one individual walks away to go to the bathroom, the person suffering with the Eating Disorder may think "they left because I was acting stupid again." There is also the feeling that "everyone hates me," or only hangs around because they feel sorry for them, or are just being polite. Compliments are seen as polite gestures, but not truly compliments, and are often met with a invalidating remark about themselves. For example: someone compliments on a sufferers achievement and they reply, "no really, I'm so stupid. You should have seen how badly I screwed up last week..."

    People suffering with Eating Disorders take on unfair burdens of control for the world around them. They may feel responsible to make the world a better place, to want to cure the ills of everyone, and when they can't, punish themselves with self-hate remarks and actions. There is often a strong need to control their own lives and the lives of people around them, and when they cannot, think it is unfair and take it out on themselves.

    Self-blame can be another aspect... the sufferer may blame themself for everything bad that has ever happened to them, believing that in some way they deserved it; ie., "my parents abused me because I was a horrible kid." On the contrary, they may also blame others for everything and take no responsibility for their own lives. For example: "if you'd been there for me, I wouldn't have purged."

    People living with Anorexia and Bulimia have a hard time being optimistic about any aspect of a situation or their lives. Everything seems negative in one way or another, or they only pick the negative to focus on. In comparison to others, someone else who achieves something is considered great, but the same achievement for themselves would be met with negativity and how it could have been done better. Though the world is not seen as perfect and others are not expected to act as such, the person suffering with the Eating Disorder may have high expectations of perfection for themselves.

    Ultimately, one of the biggest perception distortions of the person with Anorexia or Bulimia is that "life will be better and I will be happy when I lose the weight." There is a false sense of control that is achieved during self-starvation/restriction, a feeling of comfort when binging, or a temporary release of emotions and guilt during purging... In reality none of the above has been achieved except within the sufferer's perception. There is no light at the end of the tunnel of an Eating Disorder, even though those who suffer may think there is. In reality, the only true light comes from recovery.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thats all very true, but how do you recover?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :yes: all true.

    wot u mean, how do u recover?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by *TiNK*

    wot u mean, how do u recover?

    Eh? What don't you understand? Shes asking how you get better.

    Clara - with the desire to change, a lot of honesty with yourself, a lot of time and a lot of support. It's hard and you have to want it for yourself. There's no magic to it. You need to get over yourself, deal with your problems and get on with your life. It's the only way. It's getting to the point that you're willing to try that's the struggle. And unfortunately, sometimes you need an almighty scare to do it.
    Or a good soul who gives you the kick up the arse you need.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by clara
    thats all very true, but how do you recover?

    Its the same as what I said two years ago hon- its hard work, but its worth it.

    Psychotherapy and Cognitive Behaviour Therapies seem to be the therapies of choice at the minute, along with ADs if the case merits it. Talk to your doctor about it, theyre the people with all the expertise of the NHS at their disposal, theyre the people who can put you in the right direction.

    But you have to want to do it, no-one can make you. You have to want it enough to break the cycle and ADMIT you have a problem, and until then I dont know how successful any treatment could be.

    *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh, and I forgot- have a look through the MIND website for starters, and try making a request for information to the NHS Direct website. Ive asked them stuff about BPD before and theyve brought up some very useful sources.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thank you rainbow! that was really really helpfull! thanks..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks kermit and smash :)

    been trying to get myself better for about a year now, and most the time it feels like im getting worse:(!
    unfortunately going to the docs just seems like so much hassle to me and it feels like i dont have a big enough problem to deserve treatment, but i know that i do, if that makes any sense at all!
    all the time i wish i was normal and i try to be, like having a normal approach to food etc but it always seems to backfire! ah well...:rolleyes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by clara
    been trying to get myself better for about a year now, and most the time it feels like im getting worse:(!
    unfortunately going to the docs just seems like so much hassle to me and it feels like i dont have a big enough problem to deserve treatment, but i know that i do, if that makes any sense at all!
    all the time i wish i was normal and i try to be, like having a normal approach to food etc but it always seems to backfire! ah well...:rolleyes:
    Clara, you are echoing the things one of my friends says to me regularly. I can see that she has a problem and deserves help, but she can't.

    What you need to tell yourself is that if you feel you have a problem, and you feel you need treatment (you seem to - and that's a good start) then you need it. It sounds like you've been struggling for a long time, and it's really brave of you to even think about getting help.

    Sorry if that all sounds a bit trite, hope it helps somehow.

    Take care,
    Picc.
    xxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    clara wrote: »
    been trying to get myself better for about a year now, and most the time it feels like im getting worse:(!
    unfortunately going to the docs just seems like so much hassle to me and it feels like i dont have a big enough problem to deserve treatment, but i know that i do, if that makes any sense at all!
    all the time i wish i was normal and i try to be, like having a normal approach to food etc but it always seems to backfire! ah well...:rolleyes:

    I was the same in that I never thought my problems were bad enough to go to a doctor or whoever, but I did see a counsellor/psychologist in the end and I found that that helped me sort out the stuff in my head that caused my ED, but the physical stuff was all down to me, no one else could change that. That took me a long time to realise, and even longer to decide I wanted to do something about it, but anything is possible if youre determined. I dont know how your ED works therefore what would help you recover, but for me setting little tasks and challenges to introduce new foods gradually seems to be working, im definitely not there yet though... but i will be :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi there, welcome to TheSite.

    You're bringing up really old threads, the users who started them don't come here any more. If you want to talk about eating disorders or self-harm, have a look at the threads on the first two places of Health and Wellbeing or start your own :)

    :wave:
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