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Bisexual

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Me and this guy started experimentation to see if we were bi, but he has a GF...After a while I kinda fell in love with him..and me and him here making out and cuddling when I told him that, he started to cry and tell me about how he loves me to but has a gf and he is not mean enough to dump her....When I am with him everything feels so right and amazing like its meant to be...but apart I feel like its gross and what we are doing is wrong...but it changes so much when we are together....what should I do to make the "eww" thoughts go away

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    firstly, if he has a gf, and he is no longer wanting to be with her he needs to end things with her. It's not fair on her. He needs to be straight that he has cheated on her too.

    Do you enjoy spending time with him (do you love him or is it more like brotherly love you feel?), or is it more "ewww". You shouldn't do anything you are uncomfortable with.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I love him the way I do because when I am with him I get the shakes, when he hug or even touch I feel sparks through my body, when he is near I can feel my heart beating faster, and when I stare into his eyes I can feel my heart skip a beat. the fact of this keeps me with him, he may not say much but thats why I love him, and I don't understand why the feeling of what I feel of him makes me shiver when he is not near, its like my concious wants me to be straight but I don't Care about genders and I don't care about if someone is ugly or attractive (hes attractive) what gets me is how much I just love his personality and how much I love to spend time with him
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As haze said, he needs to tell his girlfriend. Secondly, what you're doing isn't eww. I've felt like that before, but it takes some people years to accept they're gay/bi - or not at all, but still time to accept what they're doing isn't wrong - even though they've accepted they're gay/bi and to be comfortable dating someone of the same sex. I know it took me a while. You might be experiencing both of those feelings now.

    You should watch some gay cinema on the matter, that helped me through my feelings of it being "wrong", it could help you. Even reading stories and history on people who have fought for gay rights. It depends entirely on the reason why you think it's wrong what you're doing. If you explain more why you feel that way, we could help you on that subject.

    I accepted I was gay about 3-4 years after having those first feelings. I constantly kept thinking it was wrong, but cinema, books, stories, experiences etc all helped me realize that it wasn't.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    http://www.itgetsbetter.org/
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi there Randoman,

    It's always hard to get the courage to try different things, and you should be proud that you are being honest with your current feelings. Bi-curiosity is completely natural and sometimes it can surprise you;
    "Gender isn't always the defining factor in why people find others emotionally or sexually attractive. But it can sometimes be confusing or upsetting to have these feelings when you always thought that you could clearly define your sexual orientation."

    Perhaps the guilt of not fitting in the "norm" is making you doubt your feelings when he is away, and perhaps this could be due to what has been shown to you as the "norm" when growing up. Feelings are what counts at the end of the day, no matter the gender, and what you feel about him when you are together is clearly important to you.

    Off course his girlfriend is an issue at the moment. Perhaps having a serious conversation about how you both feel could help you see where you truly stand with him.

    Good luck :)
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