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"Losing it" ?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Okay. Hoping my friend will help me out here...
basically just lately i keep having these... "episodes" (for lack of a better word) where i just start crying... about anything thats getting me down, and then i end up feeling really paranoid again. like people are staring at me, or if im sat at a desk or in the middle of a room or something, i feel really unprotected and run for the nearest corner and curl up in a ball. then.. i dont know. its like im no longer "in this world" i kind of zone out.. but i dont know if i go to my own little world or not.. i never remember anything.
the most recent one, my friend was there, and aparently some stuff happened but i dont remember a thing so hoping she may post and fill in the gaps for me!
i know i need to see a doctor, but it could be a while until i can, so any advice from anyone until then?
basically just lately i keep having these... "episodes" (for lack of a better word) where i just start crying... about anything thats getting me down, and then i end up feeling really paranoid again. like people are staring at me, or if im sat at a desk or in the middle of a room or something, i feel really unprotected and run for the nearest corner and curl up in a ball. then.. i dont know. its like im no longer "in this world" i kind of zone out.. but i dont know if i go to my own little world or not.. i never remember anything.
the most recent one, my friend was there, and aparently some stuff happened but i dont remember a thing so hoping she may post and fill in the gaps for me!
i know i need to see a doctor, but it could be a while until i can, so any advice from anyone until then?
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Comments
Sorry to hear about this as it's clearly very distressing. I think I know exactly what you mean though because by the way that you described this, I used to experience it sometimes when I was having a very depressive episode (I also used the word episode to describe those times too). I would become very depressed and cry a lot (sometimes to the point where I would get stomach pains and vomit). I also experienced the intense feelings of both isolation and paranoia which also made me instinctively position myself curled up defensively in a corner of the room. I had these episodes quite frequently for a few years but I don't think I have them any more in the sense that I no longer feel the paranoia part...I have a lot of posters on my bedroom walls and I used to feel extremely uncomfortable in those moments, like they were all staring at me and like everything in my room, all the inanimate objects were watching me too...it was very distressing and I would usually self-harm in those times to help calm me down (disclaimer: I am certainly not advocating you to behave in this way, it's self-destructive and causes many problems).
Over time these moments happened less but I have started to have panic attacks more, and it seems to me that they are often in place of those paranoid feelings of being watched that I used to have. I'm not really sure which is worse, both are very difficult to deal with.
My point is that you are not alone, you are not 'crazy' or anything. I have also experienced this and I'm sure many other people have too. However, clearly this is cause for concern and seeing your GP is definitely a good idea as they can help you. I would advise you to make an appointment as soon as possible. In the meantime, the only things you can really do are perhaps learn to recognise what triggers these situations and to stay calm instead of it escalating into one of those frightening episodes. I also think trying not to be alone may help; I know a friend was present last time but generally if you are alone I would assume it would be easier for you to quickly get from stressed to having an 'episode'. Having someone else present may help you to calm down or distract you and if not they can make sure you are safe and do not come to any proper harm.
Stay strong.
You are not crazy, the feelings/behaviours and thoughts you are having are classic signs of being emotionally unstable.
When you say you feel like you arent in this world and zone out this is known as detachment and/or dis-association.
There is help and support out there so please dont be scared or ashamed to ask.
It is likely that your GP will refer you to your local mental health team for an assessment
and some proper support.
Take care and stay safe.
I definitely think you should try and describe it to your doctor and they can come up with ways to help that would suit you best as an individual. Just be as honest as you can with them and I'm sure they will be able to help you.
Get an emergency appointment with your doctor if you're worried.