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boyfriend wants me to lose weight..
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hey, me and my boyfriend have been together a couple of years. recently, well i say recently but roughly about 8 months ago, he said he would like me to lose some weight. he didnt say it in a rude way, in fact he felt quite awkward about the whole thing. but at the time i was so upset i didnt do anything about it, and ate more cos he had hurt me. he said that wasnt his intention, and that i dont need to lose that much just 7lbs or something, and that it would improve myself. anyway he has kept mentioning it but again it has the same effect on me, i get upset and eat blah blah..
i dont think i am that overweight, maybe a stone and a half or something. i do feel self conscious around him which i dont like. and i lost a lot of weight in the past but i dont have the willpower to keep it off. i feel so down about myself, particularly because our sex life has dwindled lately because he says he so badly wants me to lose weight and he cant help feeling the way he does but he still loves me and thinks im beautiful, just wants me to better himself. one time he lost his hard on which upset me greatly (as you can imagine) and i just know it was because hes thinking, why isnt she doing something that ive asked of her when she knows how much it would mean to me?
i feel upset when he says these things to me, and i know you are prob thinking, well why dont you lose weight and it will solve all the problems? the thing is, because he has hurt me by telling me that he wants me to lose weight, the stubborn part of me wants to punish him! fucked up thinking i know but i cant help it!
i dont think i am that overweight, maybe a stone and a half or something. i do feel self conscious around him which i dont like. and i lost a lot of weight in the past but i dont have the willpower to keep it off. i feel so down about myself, particularly because our sex life has dwindled lately because he says he so badly wants me to lose weight and he cant help feeling the way he does but he still loves me and thinks im beautiful, just wants me to better himself. one time he lost his hard on which upset me greatly (as you can imagine) and i just know it was because hes thinking, why isnt she doing something that ive asked of her when she knows how much it would mean to me?
i feel upset when he says these things to me, and i know you are prob thinking, well why dont you lose weight and it will solve all the problems? the thing is, because he has hurt me by telling me that he wants me to lose weight, the stubborn part of me wants to punish him! fucked up thinking i know but i cant help it!
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Comments
I think that less exposure to the size 0 models should do the trick :-)
If you want to lose weight for YOU then fine, healthy eating and exercise is the way forward. However I don't think you should be forced into changing yourself to suit someone else's preferences. I'm sure there are things about him that you think aren't perfect, but when you love someone you see past those things.
Being sexy doesn't even have to be about the way you look; you can be totally turned on by someone that doesn't have a perfect body or perfect image, and I think it is sad he can't see past a few extra pounds.
same!!!!
im REALLY sensitive when it comes to my weight so if my bloke EVER asked me to lose weight or even suggested that i should lose weight, i'd walk away from him. if it was for health reasons, fair enough but if it was just so you'd be slimmer for HIM then thats out of order.
This isnt about you though is it?
Even if he mildly suggested that i dont think he ment it in a rude way, its up to YOU, if you want to lose some yourself, go for it..if not he should respect it either way.
I never said it was :eek2:
its not about you either, so why are YOU answering?
And losing weight if you are indeed overweight isn't a negative thing. It's a healthy thing and will result in something you can only be happy with.
Why not suggest doing excercise and activities together
Maybe it isn't your boyfriends place to say anything, but maybe he is noticing you are upset about it too and wants to HELP you lose some weight - for the both of you.
It's just like if you thought he was overweight and you thought he didn't like it, would you say something?
It's kinda like when someone says "I'm ugly" or "I'm fat", even if you think they could lose some weight you'll still say "no you're not" to make them feel better. Truth is, it wont. It wont be long term happiness until something else comes along and ruins their self-esteem. What you should be doing is helping them, by all means still tell them they aren't fat but you can still do some exercise together. (I know that probably makes me sound like a bad person but I just see someones long term happiness which to me doesn't make me a bad person.)
These sentiments made me shudder.
My bullying abusive cock of an ex partner was always trying to get me to lose weight, and came out with this kind of shit.
What he meant was...though I love you, I'm a bit embarrassed letting my mates see I've got a chubby girlfriend.
In the end, I managed to lose 12 stone of excess and unhealthy weight by dumping him :thumb:
TL;DR lose weight feel good, don't lose weight feel bad.