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Want to be hurt(?)
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi
Does it make sense, to want someone (who you have strong feelings for) to hurt you? Might sound stupid at first
but let me elaborate: Over a year ago I've been dating/seeing a girl for a couple of months. We broke up due to the fact
that I went abroad over the summer, and we agreed (not sure "agree" is the right word here) to take a pause(end it, it was quite akward,..):
no hard feelings basicly.
The last year I dated other girls. But I always avoided any real relationsship,.. it was a coming and going.
Long story short: I hurt a lot of em and never could get "her" out of my mind.
Always asking myself "What if?".
We haven't seen eachother since, but recent chats and calls increased the intensity of said feelings.
Well before getting to stuck up: Do you think its a good idea telling her how I feel, intentionally hoping her
to tell me off? I just want somekind of denial on her side, so I can finally move on.(I failed to do so alone sofar, despite knowing that it just wouldn't work),
Some opinions would be nice or possible alternatives, thanks in advance,
Cheers,
Jack
Does it make sense, to want someone (who you have strong feelings for) to hurt you? Might sound stupid at first
but let me elaborate: Over a year ago I've been dating/seeing a girl for a couple of months. We broke up due to the fact
that I went abroad over the summer, and we agreed (not sure "agree" is the right word here) to take a pause(end it, it was quite akward,..):
no hard feelings basicly.
The last year I dated other girls. But I always avoided any real relationsship,.. it was a coming and going.
Long story short: I hurt a lot of em and never could get "her" out of my mind.
Always asking myself "What if?".
We haven't seen eachother since, but recent chats and calls increased the intensity of said feelings.
Well before getting to stuck up: Do you think its a good idea telling her how I feel, intentionally hoping her
to tell me off? I just want somekind of denial on her side, so I can finally move on.(I failed to do so alone sofar, despite knowing that it just wouldn't work),
Some opinions would be nice or possible alternatives, thanks in advance,
Cheers,
Jack
0
Comments
This is entirely normal and is a good way to speed up the process of getting over someone. One of the only things I regret in my life is not doing this to someone I had feelings for, for a long time.
However with your situation, what would you do is she told you she felt the same? If you are still living away from her, are you ready for a long distance relationship?
Agreed.
Rejection hurts but it's a million times better than being dragged along, and actually whilst people are sometimes too wary of hurting someones feelings by teling them it's not going to happen I would actually have waaaaay more respect for any girl that tells it how it is....
:yes: I've learnt from experience this is the best way.
The possibility that she wants me back i.e feels equally, kind of freightens me to be honest.
Since on the one hand I still have feelings for her but on the other hand I can't really see us together (its akward I know and I cant quite explain this properly). Besides I just want this over with,...
(Concerning the "long distance-thing" I was abroad for 3 months "only" , back home now.)
Ah well, I'll probably see her next week and tell her my dilemma. If she tells me off, it might be painful but its finally over. And if she doesn't ... I'll see from there.
I'm glad that my situation makes more (or less sense) thanks again for the answers.