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Positive or constructive experiences of guys who aren't quite ready
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi guys! Just after a bit of positive news really.
Have moved into a block of flats recently and gotten to know my neighbour, a single guy four months out of a horrible, domestically abusive relationship. At first I was only looking at him as a mate, but we get on very well and also find each other attractive. We are now kind of seeing each other.
I had already twigged before I'd even looked at him in a potential boyfriend light that he is nowhere near ready for another relationship. But he does like me one hell of a lot. I really like him, but at the moment I think we could become either really good friends or a really good relationship. I'm very happy to take things slowly and see how they go, I'd like to be confident that I really do want a relationship with him first, but from past experience I am wary that it doesn't really mean we'll see how it goes.
I think we'll be good friends whatever happens. I'm giving him space, treating him like a good mate but being a bit flirty too. Keeping my own schedule and doing my own thing rather than waiting on him all the time.
Ideally I'd like some positive stories of this situation. I'm not 100% sure that I do want a relationship from him yet, tho it's mote likely I do than not. He's worried that he'll lead me on but I don't think he is if I'm in this stage.
Have moved into a block of flats recently and gotten to know my neighbour, a single guy four months out of a horrible, domestically abusive relationship. At first I was only looking at him as a mate, but we get on very well and also find each other attractive. We are now kind of seeing each other.
I had already twigged before I'd even looked at him in a potential boyfriend light that he is nowhere near ready for another relationship. But he does like me one hell of a lot. I really like him, but at the moment I think we could become either really good friends or a really good relationship. I'm very happy to take things slowly and see how they go, I'd like to be confident that I really do want a relationship with him first, but from past experience I am wary that it doesn't really mean we'll see how it goes.
I think we'll be good friends whatever happens. I'm giving him space, treating him like a good mate but being a bit flirty too. Keeping my own schedule and doing my own thing rather than waiting on him all the time.
Ideally I'd like some positive stories of this situation. I'm not 100% sure that I do want a relationship from him yet, tho it's mote likely I do than not. He's worried that he'll lead me on but I don't think he is if I'm in this stage.
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Comments
It's nice to see that you seem excited and happy to be in this person's life whether it be a relationship or friendship. You mention you are "kind of seeing each other", have you been on dates before? Has he mentioned how he feels about dating again after his abusive relationship?
It's always a good idea to get to know someone slowly and surely in order to really figure out if you are compatible - and being honest about where he stands with you and where you stand with him could help evaluate the situation better too
Let us know how you get on!