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Unwritten Rules
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Please post any unwritten rules in any social situations. It could be anything at all, even small and insignificant, from the stuff little kids learn (i.e. no hitting) to stuff people acquire as teenagers or even adults (i.e. lying is acceptable within certain contex.)
I'll start:
Things people tattle to the teacher in grade school cannot be tattled to the boss at work.
I remember when Kyra wouldn't let me sit with her during break, I told my boss and all she said is to find another table. She didn't even convince Kyra to let me sit with her. If that was grade school, it woulda been a different outcome.
u?
I'll start:
Things people tattle to the teacher in grade school cannot be tattled to the boss at work.
I remember when Kyra wouldn't let me sit with her during break, I told my boss and all she said is to find another table. She didn't even convince Kyra to let me sit with her. If that was grade school, it woulda been a different outcome.
u?
0
Comments
I know it bothers management to for me to tattle just bc someone won't sit with me. That's y I didn't do it at Wal-Mart when Emily won't let me sit at her table. At McD's, however, she was more lenient. It depends on who's in charge. I know I wasn't supposed to tattle, but I was just so desperate. So no big surprise.
It is *not* cool to bribe/beg/threaten someone to be your friend or throw hissy fits because someone won't be your bosom buddy.
Nice.
Also, if someone seasons food you give them without tasting it first, it's OK to smother them in their sleep.
Trufact.
Remind me never to let you cook me dinner
Oh God yes.
Anyone a "Light" Beer can have rotten fruit thrown at them
I find that people often try too hard to stand out and end up standing out in all the wrong ways. Integration into a fixed social group requires that you let people get used to your presence in a way that doesn't threaten or antagonise them.
Just my thoughts.
If you act too generic then people just think you're a boring fucker.
Some people aren't blessed with the ability to judge what is appropriate in a given setting, clearly, hence why they alienate themselves right from the off. That's why I chose the phrase 'toning down'. Those who mix in professional circles SHOULD have a better idea of appropriate behaviour, granted, though some still don't surprisingly enough, I'm sure you've noticed the same.
Having a more neutral personality in the first instance will not make you seem boring. Adopting a more generic personality, by definition, would align you with the general population of whatever social setting that you are in. This is not the worst stance in which to merge into a group and you can then add in elements of your personality.
My advice is not a one size fits all approach, some occasions require a person to stand out from point one. However, I'm happy with the thoughts I contributed to this thread. I'm also happy to accept different opinions, just justifying my own being as you've commented.
I find if I am myself then I don't fit in with the people I am trying to fit in with. Generally I get seen as either "too young" for the group or "a nerd", I could try to act older or not talk about the things that make me seem nerdy but I think I would be being in the first case fake and the second very boring.
That said some good advice would be
Treat others in the way you would like them to treat you
Don't give out too much gruesome personal information too soon
If you feel yourself getting into a rage either count to ten or walk away to cool off
Accept that not everyone out there is going to immediately like you
If you feel you have to be someone else to be accepted, then your around ppl not worth hanging with anyway. You want people to accept you for who you are.
I'm not sure you are the way you are usually, though. It doesn't sound like this behaviour makes you happy and it seems to me as though moderating your behaviour in this instance would be a kindness to yourself and not a concession to the needs of others.