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Coping with no strings sex
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have a friend who i've been sleeping with every now and then for the past few months, and its been great. I love having him there when i need him without having a full blown relationship. But lately i've been feeling a bit 'used'. We chat online quite a bit and on cam when we cant see each other in person and if im not in the mood for anything he'll just go or stop talking, leaving me feeling a bit shit. Dont get me wrong, he's a nice guy and we do chat about things beside sex but i feel like his patience sometimes wears thin with me as im a bit shy about doing stuff on cam.
I know that its easy to fall for a fuck buddy and yes, i guess i do have a stronger connection with him now than before, but i wouldnt go so far as to say i love him and want to be with him. If he asked me out i'd say no. I'd just like to feel a bit more appreciated and not as just a sex toy
I know that its easy to fall for a fuck buddy and yes, i guess i do have a stronger connection with him now than before, but i wouldnt go so far as to say i love him and want to be with him. If he asked me out i'd say no. I'd just like to feel a bit more appreciated and not as just a sex toy
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Personally, I have no problem with no-strings sex, if that means we are friends who hang out together, sometimes sleep together, but have no obligations or commitment to each other.
What I do have a problem with is being treated like a whore. I'm still a person, not a jizz receptacle.
Whenever a friends with benefits situation has gone badly for me, it's because the bloke ended up treating me like the latter. The tell-tale signs were when he never wanted to go to the cinema, the pub, a restaurant etc with me, but only ever wanted me to go round to his, or for him to come over to mine. Usually suggested via text message at 2am :yeees:
I'm not interested in being treated like a prostitute, so that's when I got out. I dunno what the solution is, except perhaps to set some ground rules in advance, or have a conversation about acceptable and unacceptable forms of behaviour. If nothing changes, put a stop to it. You might not want to be his girlfriend, but you're right to want to be treated differently to a blow-up doll.
My fuck buddy also seems to expect to have fun on webcam with me most of the times we talk online. Like you we do also talk about important things in our lives, family, friends, jobs, what we want out of life etc. But more often than not it ends up with him wanting to play on cam and if I say no the conversation slows down and then completely ceases.
Mine also hinted at wanting more but then when I decided to ask him outright he declared he didn't want a girlfriend.
It does suck when you start to feel used by your fuck buddy and I think we only start to feel used when we have developed feelings for them....
I don't know about you but I'm finding it hard to get out of my fuck buddy situation as much as I don't want to feel like crap he is like a drug to me
:banghead:
I would never recommend anyone have a fuck buddy now I have experienced it myself. You really need to be one of those people that doesn't get emotionally attached for it to work.
Sorry to hear you have been feeling "used" by this man. Like jamelia mentioned, at the end of the day you are not here simply to fulfil his needs, and even though there is an unwritten rule about "fuck buddies", it still does not give someone the right to make you feel crap.
Whether you feel this way due to the connection you feel for him (or what he almost said to you), or due to the way he has actually been acting, it is important to mention this to him. If he felt the way you do, wouldn't you want him to speak to you? Give it a try if you can and see what he says - you never know what he might be thinking.
Let us know how you get on *hug*
Why feel used? seems like you've used him as much as he's used you... mutual usage :yes:
when he's asking for you to go on cam. consider that he's nursing a chubby so wanking is his top priority at that given time.... its obvious to me the problem isn't with him using you, because you've had an agreement to use each other, rather the problem is that you want more than just sex, if he did ask you out on a date I know as well you know the answer would be yes. I think you're verging on denial and need to face up to this, that is my advice.
Hmm yea I can see what you're saying. Ive been single for a good year and a half now so I miss the intimacy. I honestly don't think i would say yes to a date though. Before we started this I had seen him around and never gave him a second thought. I just dont think he gets that sometimes im not in the mood.
This then causes another issue because he thinks im just shy in general which im not. If we were together in person (which we soon shall be i hope) i'd be all over him, its just something about the cam i dont like (but ive gotten better lately), which means that i think he;s a bit put off about coming over or saying stuff to me in case it puts me off :rolleyes:
hi everyone,i need some advice...i fell head over heels a few months ago with a girl i knew 20 years ago,and caught up with again on facebook.last june..we had a great loving relationship..for a few months...not one dissagreement..and she broke it off suddenly..a few weeks ago..her excuse was she.hadn't been out with anyone for 10 years after an abusive relationship.she just commited herself to bring her 2 boys up...now she tells me all she can offer me is a fuck buddy relationship..as she is so set in her ways being single with just the boys for so long..this really hurts me,as i love her so much..im hanging on just incase it will change in the future..what do you think i should do..thankyou for any advice you can give me
When i leave uni and go home and we'll both be at car events etc we'll most likely want to fuck then.
Also i dont feel like i can say anything to him because its meant to be a no strings relationship, and in all fairness he hasnt done anything wrong. I guess its because he's the only guy i have right now that gives me any sort of attention. I dont have pathological male friends i flirt with so im clinging onto him just to feel wanted by someone.
I just want to get over this and be ok with seeing him and sleeping with him in the future but not feel like this :crying: Is that impossible and ridiculous?
Well that's a good thing surely?
:yeees:
I've just decided to get over this and accept that i probably wont be seeing him for a few months yet. I've always kept my options open anyway so im just not gonna make a big deal out of it and see how it plays out
Why don't you find a real simpering little pussy who will put you on a pedestal, cater to your every whim and write you poems about his love for you...that way, you ain't getting used for sex, you're using him for sex and narcissistic pleasure, and can dump him when someone better comes along?
Problem solved :thumb:
Actually i already know a guy who would do that and im 99% sure he wouldnt be any good in bed.
Give him a shot at least, he might not be a 200lb thug who's going to have you up against the wall like Tarzan, however he might be good with his tongue? :thumb:
Ummmmm....... doubt it
you could give him lessons?