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grounded because i s/h
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
well it is what the title says.
my mother grounded me, because she found out i self harm.
i mean, what is she going to do when she finds out i overdosed?? May aswel stick me in a padded cell, or kill me herself!
just feeling so so angry and dont know how to let it out!!! (i have s/hed but it didnt help, and that stopped me from repeating it)
poetry has almost become my life support recently, reading it has helped keep me strong for example, and when i put pen to paper to let my emotions out, i end up with masses of total rubbish poetry.
but even that isnt coming to me today.
feel like im going crazy right now......
and quite honestly, just need a motherly hug. something...well i cant remember the last time i got one from my mum.
my mother grounded me, because she found out i self harm.
i mean, what is she going to do when she finds out i overdosed?? May aswel stick me in a padded cell, or kill me herself!
just feeling so so angry and dont know how to let it out!!! (i have s/hed but it didnt help, and that stopped me from repeating it)
poetry has almost become my life support recently, reading it has helped keep me strong for example, and when i put pen to paper to let my emotions out, i end up with masses of total rubbish poetry.
but even that isnt coming to me today.
feel like im going crazy right now......
and quite honestly, just need a motherly hug. something...well i cant remember the last time i got one from my mum.
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Comments
That sounds like a very frustrating place you are in at the moment.
Is this the first your mum has known about your s/h? It must be very hard for a parent to find out that their child is doing this, and it is quite possible she doesn't realise the implications grounding you has. Maybe she thinks she is helping you? Do you need to tell her about your overdose attempt right now? If it is going to make things worse, it may be worth not mentioning it for a while.
As for other things you could do to avoid s/h again are maybe drawing, keeping a journal (a bit like your poetry) , flicking an elastic band against your wrist, sucking ice cubes, drawing on yourself in red pen. I find that personally, the writing and scribbling drawings helps me. Oh, and listening to really loud music also helps I find.
I will send you another *hug* as they do help! My parents aren't big on them either... or the "love you" stuff either so I know how much that can hurt.
Feel free to PM me if you ever want.
(also do you go to a counsellor?)
It's a very human reaction - even if it's not the perfect solution.
Although most of them that know at school think it was more a cry for attention than actually trying to kill myself, (which no offence to them i totally disagree) but they have to tell my mum, because i live with her. I dont live with my dad however so i was left to tell him myself.
Mok- i dont want to sound bitchy but its not really working if she doesnt follow me upstairs... im gonna admitt it but i did s/h again after posting this, for different reasons though.
hang in there.
I did say that it wasn't a perfect solution.
It's also not an approach that I would take, but in order to understand the approach she's taking you have to get inside her head and see things from her perspective. MH is something non-sufferers struggle to understand, it's not like any other illness.
Break your leg and there's a physical symptom and it's easy to fix, develop diabetes and you can administer insulin, get a headache and you can take paracetamol. MH isn't like that and people struggle, they think it's easily fixed and it isn't.
That's what your Mum is doing, her way of protecting you is to keep you close. She doesn't understand that it isn't a solution.
In my experience, s-h is related to isolation. And grounding is a punishment that isolates you; you've admitted it hasn't worked.
You could always take a deep breath and throw away your blades and pills if you think that might keep you safe. (Like it's that easy! But if you think you've got the guts it sometimes does work.)
ive also got rid of a few sharp objects, but im not sure its such a good idea as i then try to find something else, for example just recently ive started sandpapering my skin
i guess i can try talking to my teachers, and when i get there.. somebody from CAMHS.
and thanks MoK, but sometimes i feel like she doesnt want to help
There are loads of sites around that list coping techniques (I think they're linked from the s/h part of TheSite but I'm a bit knackered so on my way to bed but I'll look tomorrow), maybe you could make a deal with yourself to try some of those?
If your mum sees you trying to keep yourself safe maybe she'll relent a little bit. Can you ask her to keep the medication somewhere else without telling her what happened?
Just wanted to add the link that Picollo was talking about.....
Take care and keep posting
How are you today?
Did you manage to talk to any of your teachers? or perhaps look at the link Harry23 sent?
Take care keep posting