If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Going around in circles!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I was engaged in 2009 to a lovely guy and we fitted so well, but then we just fell apart and we didn't really know why. He knows i still love him but he said he doesn't feel the same, but i can't get him out of my head. I don't know if i can get him back because he is in a relationship.. and he knows i love him but he doesn't know that this isn't just a little crush that will go away. I actually love him and i can't let him go.
So what do i do? My family have sugested therapy and my friends have sugested that i just tell him i feel and if he doesn't feel the same.. move on. But some people know its not that easy. It's ruining my life and i need some advice.
So what do i do? My family have sugested therapy and my friends have sugested that i just tell him i feel and if he doesn't feel the same.. move on. But some people know its not that easy. It's ruining my life and i need some advice.
0
Comments
If there was such a thing as "the one" he was it for me. It's totally my fault it ended though.
Like you I also let me ex know I still loved him, that losing him was the biggest mistake of my life. He has a gf and told me I need to move on with my life. I wish it were that simple.
So I know what you're going through, don't really know what to advise you though as I'm struggling with how to solve this situation myself
I guess if it's meant to be it will find a work to work itself out? We can hope
Getting over someone who you had a deep connection with can take a long time to come to terms with and it's hard to know what steps you can take to be at peace with what's happened and move forward. Some of the suggestions you've had from others such as therapy and telling him how you feel are plausible options. There are also other ways that you can start to come to terms with this though and one of them might be to address this:
When we still love someone it can be painful to admit why something might not have been right, yet deep down we know there were things that weren't going well as otherwise - how did it end?
Do you think you might be able to reconsider this and come up with some honest reasons for why you think it didn't work out between you?
By doing this you might have a better chance of figuring out if it's really worth going back to this guy with your feelings and whether or not you would actually really want to go back. Having said that, it's worth remembering that if he has moved truly moved on and is now settled with someone new, then he might not be willing to even have this kind of conversation with you.
Ultimately though, by addressing some of the issues you had as a couple, you're allowing yourself to learn from the experience and consider everything you have to offer in a new and fresh relationship.
Take good care of yourself and take a look at our article on mending a broken heart if you haven't already: http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships/singles/singlelife/mendingabrokenheart
*hug*
2. You don't need "therapy" cos someone you love is in another relationship. When relationships end like that you will still have feelings and there isn't anything wrong with you for having those feelings and still loving him.
3. You just need to accept how you feel and how he feels and that he is already in a relationship with someone else. Distance yourself from him more, and give yourself a bit of time - you'll get over him eventually even if you think he was the "one"