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please help/advice, i cant support my friend and do everything else too :(

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
I have a friend who is going through a lot of troubles at the moment, she has an alcoholic, abusive boyfriend who was sober for 2 months, now started drinking again and has been violent again. she has nowhere to go, no money (unemployed) no family (moved to spain) i am currently living in a different city for university so im not there either.

she has problems with self injury and has landed in hospital a few times recently having to have stitches for her cutting...her boyfriend is currently awaiting charges for drink driving into a traffic light (they wernt found in the car so currently its only her statement proving he was driving, she is contemplating lying in court to protect him.)

i have spent hours on the phone this week trying to console and help her, soon as i found out he hit her again i spent hours looking and applying for jobs for her to ger her out of their bedsit and able to support herself if she wants to leave.


im so stressed out by it all..i just want to save her but i know she wont leave him. I have had my own issues with self harm in the past and havent found the move to uni easy either. Ive been so stressed by this and exams and uni that im falling back into my eating disorderd habbits i can see it but i dont know what to do.. i cant save her and myself im so torn up about it :(


please..any help, advice, support anyone can share with me,

thank you :)
Jadex

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Perhaps you could consider putting her in contact with a gov or charity organisation? She can get out of her relationship by moving, perhaps to a refuge if she has no money, contacts, or friends who can put her up. You could give her the phone number for women's aid, it is her choice whether she acts on it or not though.

    http://www.womensaid.org.uk/

    Remember to look after yourself, you can't help a sinking person if you're drowning yourself.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Is your friend getting help with her self harm?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do what you can do to help your friend but at the end of the day she has to help herself too, or else all your efforts are in vain.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Blacksheep wrote: »
    Do what you can do to help your friend but at the end of the day she has to help herself too, or else all your efforts are in vain.

    Well said, I agree.

    All you can do is be there for her but she needs to make the changes to her life herself or nothing will stick.
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