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Taking offence

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok, so I posted a status update on Facebook the other day basically saying that people can only make you feel shit if you let them and that tears shouldn't be wasted on those who don't deserve them. Most of my friends agreed but this one person, who the comment was extremely subtly directed at, seems to have taken offence and I think is no longer speaking to me.

My question is, given it was such a vague comment and could have related to anyone or anything, you would surely only take offence if, deep down, you felt as though you had done something which you think might have made me feel shit. If that be so, then why would you stop talking to me when, really, I should stop talking to you??

Is it just me? I know this is pathetic but it's driving me crazy!!

GB x

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe this friend felt like you should have spoken to them about it directly instead of posting it on facebook for everyone to see
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lexi99 wrote: »
    Maybe this friend felt like you should have spoken to them about it directly instead of posting it on facebook for everyone to see

    Believe me, I've tried. This person constantly avoids talking to me about our 'issue' and yet plays with my mind, in my opinion, so they can satisfy themselves that they have power over me.

    Gb x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok, so I posted a status update on Facebook the other day basically saying that people can only make you feel shit if you let them and that tears shouldn't be wasted on those who don't deserve them. Most of my friends agreed but this one person, who the comment was extremely subtly directed at, seems to have taken offence and I think is no longer speaking to me.

    It obviously wasn't subtle enough or the friend wouldn't have recognised themselves in your update.
    Believe me, I've tried. This person constantly avoids talking to me about our 'issue' and yet plays with my mind, in my opinion, so they can satisfy themselves that they have power over me.

    Is this person more of an 'acquaintance' than a 'friend'? It sounds like it. I'd say, if you have tried to resolve this in other ways, just let them stew and don't waste any more emotion on them. People like that can be very draining on your own emotions.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Teagan wrote: »
    It obviously wasn't subtle enough or the friend wouldn't have recognised themselves in your update.

    Is this person more of an 'acquaintance' than a 'friend'? It sounds like it. I'd say, if you have tried to resolve this in other ways, just let them stew and don't waste any more emotion on them. People like that can be very draining on your own emotions.

    Well, I literally posted "people can only make you feel shit if you let them. So don't. Waste no tears or worry on those who deserve neither from you." I mean, it could literally have related to anyone or any incident. Yeah, I find myself getting really upset about it when this person is the one who should be upset or, more likely, probably really doesn't give a shit. I feel exhausted!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    this is why i never post bitchy statuses on facebook.

    really not worth it.

    even if the person its aimed at doesn't picks up on your dig, someone else might get paranoid and think its about them!!!!!!!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    this is why i never post bitchy statuses on facebook.

    really not worth it.

    even if the person its aimed at doesn't picks up on your dig, someone else might get paranoid and think its about them!!!!!!!!!

    :yes: bitchy statuses are such playground behaviour, especially when people join in bitching about a certain person for them to see, it's so childish.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think it was bitchy. Just honest. And they shouldn't get paranoid unless they feel guilty!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I bitched about someone on facebook once.

    She agreed that she had been a bitch and I agreed that I had been a bitch putting the bitchy comment. We called it even......
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why post these things on Facebook in the first place?
    The vast majority of people who read it don't give a crap, and those that do comment are only after more gossip under the pretence of giving a crap.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    this is why i never post bitchy statuses on facebook.

    really not worth it.

    even if the person its aimed at doesn't picks up on your dig, someone else might get paranoid and think its about them!!!!!!!!!

    I agree. Unless the offense is worth losing a friend (or several) over, I would advise anyone (even my own octogenarian mother) to think twice before posting "subtle" personal digs. There is a high risk they will misfire and hurt an innocent bystander and, if they do hit their intended target, can you really be surprised if the victim backs off and goes silent on you ..?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You said the comment was indeed (albeit subtlely) aimed at them, so you cant really complain if someone takes offence at it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    this one person, who the comment was extremely subtly directed at

    Hmmm. There's your answer don't you think?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    this is why i never post bitchy statuses on facebook.

    really not worth it.

    even if the person its aimed at doesn't picks up on your dig, someone else might get paranoid and think its about them!!!!!!!!!

    This happened to me last year. I then got a lecture about it. I then saw the person who gave me the lecture, and explained what this was all about and that it was to do with nothing he said or had done to me.

    If you are going to make comments like that, hide it from the person it's aimed at.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If someone is upsetting u, the worst thing is posting it on F.b ( i am not a member of F.b) because i had friends who did this and i am a nice person but i used to take offence at certain things because F.B makes u paranoid hence why i came off.
    If u have a problem with a friend u have to tell them if your brave enough lol, if its a person u not that bothered about and its draining u then just let things fizzle out.
    I have had a so called friend not bothering to reply to my txts so when i did it back she asked me if she had done something to upset me, and i was like for gods sake its alright for u to treat me like shit but u don't like it back. So i have let this fizzle out :d x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok, ok, you are all right, I am wrong :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This sounds very familiar to me. My ex added me to his friends on fb after 4 yrs of not tlking to me. Then everytime I put a status about wishing a guy would change his mind or someone annoying me etc he thought it was about him. None of them were about him but he obviously felt guilty about something so assumed they were haha. I told him to get over himself! xx
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