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Deep and Meaningful but not face to face
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
What it says on the tin really.
Am I the only one with an excuse for a relationship that only seems to manage deep and meaningful conversations not face to face? We're fine on text, or email, but in person the meaningful stuff never really comes up.
Just me? Or common?
Am I the only one with an excuse for a relationship that only seems to manage deep and meaningful conversations not face to face? We're fine on text, or email, but in person the meaningful stuff never really comes up.
Just me? Or common?
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Comments
If it were me i would start off by making cutesy little comments like pet names or saying 'i love you', or if you're not there yet, something of that ilk. See if you can get him to open up more, even if you just ask little things when you're together like 'how are you', etc. If you want to say something romantic or meaningful, the kind of thing you would say over text, say it in person next time you see him. Also, when something important comes up you need to talk about, wait until you are together to say it, not over text.
Doesn't mean I don't feel any of the things I say over text, it just means I'm not confident enough in myself to say it out loud.
We've got a great one going at the moment. Which is deep and meaningful that almost happened but didn't when we were together, that then takes place by text late into the night after I get home.
I know what you mean, I've been in the exact same position, just being too shy and scared to say stuff face to face. Especially when we havent been able to see much of each other and its mostly based on text messages.
Have you told him how you feel? Maybe if he knows then you can both work on it together
So, no.
In fact the idea that you struggle with it too and still managed to form a relationship has cheered me up!
What do you mean by deep and meaningful? Do you mean purely relationship stuff or is it just a struggle to talk about anything serious at all?
Lexis advice is good, start slow, and instead of having the text conversation say you'll talk to him when you next see him and see what happens.
Guess it also depends on the type/length of relationship it is. If you are still getting to know each other opening up is difficult, if you've been together for years and plan to marry him it might be a problem...
We can talk about serious stuff that's not personal to either of us, that's no problem. It's when it gets personal things start to come unstuck. If we're not the only pair like it then I'm not so bothered, it's definitely workable on and will get there eventually I guess.
I find it no problem either face-to-face or by text, although for me it's usually been face-to-face, late and night and in a state far removed from sobriety.
Nature of reality, no problem face to face.
Have you never had a few too many and had a deep and meaningful?
No but it might be a start. I am talking about having a few tongue looseners, not getting so hammered you can't remember what was said.....
So yeah, I'd say it's pretty common, possibly a personal thing rather than necessarily a relationship thing, and not really a fatal flaw
It is very common to feel more safe conversing meaningful things through texting and emailing. To open up and talk about things that matter involves vulnerability, and face to face can make it harder.
Communication is very important, and even though it seems you have no problem talking, the situation in which you talk doesn't seem to always be what you would like.
Perhaps we would not encourage them to get "wasted" in order to talk
After having that first dreaded meaningful face to face conversation, it can only get easier. The more you make the effort to do this, and both your responses make each other comfortable, the easier it will get!
Good luck