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can't face tomorrow

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Health & Wellbeing
here we go again.I know I'm new to this and have to give it time but still feel like I shouldn't be writing. I don't know how to put into words really what I an thinking but tonight is going to be very long. I'm back at school tomorrow which fills me with dread and I get upset just thinking about it. I haven't seen or spoke to anyone over the holidays and feel like an outsider. I feel like no one likes me and I often have people making the joke that I'm too quiet but they just don't understand me. No one does. I hate thinking a and feeling the way I do, the constant hatred and emptiness. I really don't think I can get up in the morning and face the day ahead of me, I can't put that happy front on much longer.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Personally I find the vast majority of humans to be intolerable and I quite enjoy social isolation. Maybe embrace the fact that some of us are people persons, and some of us just aren't. When you can accept that, the feeling of emptiness and hatred soon vanishes and you feel at peace
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hidingbehindasmile wrote: »
    here we go again.I know I'm new to this and have to give it time but still feel like I shouldn't be writing. I don't know how to put into words really what I an thinking but tonight is going to be very long. I'm back at school tomorrow which fills me with dread and I get upset just thinking about it. I haven't seen or spoke to anyone over the holidays and feel like an outsider. I feel like no one likes me and I often have people making the joke that I'm too quiet but they just don't understand me. No one does. I hate thinking a and feeling the way I do, the constant hatred and emptiness. I really don't think I can get up in the morning and face the day ahead of me, I can't put that happy front on much longer.
    Hello Hidingbehindasmile,

    Welcomee to TheSite. I am also back to school tomorrow, we were ment to go back Thursday but the pipes leaked and there was no point. I am sorry to hear you are going through a lot right now. I am glad you write this and expressed your self, sometimes that can take a lot of courage so weldone. I get told I'm quiet a lot as well sso it can be extrerly hard when you have not got anything to talk about how about what Christmas presents you got, or relatives who visited or the other way. I can understand you feel very isolated by this but stay strong were hear for you *hug*'s and lots of them.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    **Total-Eclipse** wrote: »
    Hello Hidingbehindasmile,

    Welcomee to TheSite. I am also back to school tomorrow, we were ment to go back Thursday but the pipes leaked and there was no point. I am sorry to hear you are going through a lot right now. I am glad you write this and expressed your self, sometimes that can take a lot of courage so weldone. I get told I'm quiet a lot as well sso it can be extrerly hard when you have not got anything to talk about how about what Christmas presents you got, or relatives who visited or the other way. I can understand you feel very isolated by this but stay strong were hear for you *hug*'s and lots of them.

    thank you for the *hug*. how was your first day back? mine was awful :( and then when i came home my parents were asking the usual questions and wanting to know if i feel like i fit in any better than i did before but the truth is i dont and im not looking forward to tomorrow either.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Hidingbehindasmile,

    How was school for you today? We're sorry to hear you are feeling the way you are about school. If you want to, can you talk a little bit about any other friends or things you might do outside of school?

    Take care :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    school was awful :-'( only the second day back and i've s/h each night I've got home.my parents keep asking questions.i hated today and it's only going to get worse.everyone has their own friendship groups and I'm on the outside looking in.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It seems from what you've said that you would like to be a part of the friendship groups at school? As was said eariler in your thread, some people are happy about being on the outside looking in, but it seems you're not? Is there anyone that you talk to at school?

    Do you have any friendships or things you like doing outside of school?

    If you've not seen it already Thesite has a great section on self-harm that may be worth checking out? :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Harry23 wrote: »
    It seems from what you've said that you would like to be a part of the friendship groups at school? As was said eariler in your thread, some people are happy about being on the outside looking in, but it seems you're not? Is there anyone that you talk to at school?

    Do you have any friendships or things you like doing outside of school?

    If you've not seen it already Thesite has a great section on self-harm that may be worth checking out? :)

    is not that I want to be part of any group I have got used to loneliness but everyone has a go at me for being quiet and not doing anything but my low self esteem stops me. my haas of sixth form said I couLd talk to him but he wouldn't always be able to help me and I don't want him to feel like he has to get other people involved like my parents for instance! i have read the s/h section but it's not helped much,I stopped but now started again and it's a release for me and a way of coping.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's great that you head of year has offered some face-to-face support. There should be no reason for your parents to be contacted if he is just providing advice and support. Perhaps ask him about confidentiality next time you chat? He might be able to let you know of other support groups or ways that you can boost your self-esteem too.

    Pilgrim77 made a really good point about embracing your desire to NOT want to be part of the groups at school. It totally normal and OK to be quiet. You made find some peace in that.

    Sorry that the self-harm section not been of much use to you. Perhaps if you wnat to explore this side of things more, you can post on here as there are many people who share similiar experinces of self-harm. You may also find it useful to speak to someone at Childline for example? 0800 11 11. Many people use self-harm as a way to cope with things. But if you want to find new ways of coping, there is plenty of advice out there.

    Take care :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think I will ask him about confidentiality actually. I need to find the courage to ask him if I can talk to him tomorrow.
    I want to be happy with myself as a person but currently I feel hatred and anger for been so useless and a complete waste of space. I wouldn't be missed at sixth form!
    im not sure about self harm help I know it's not going to solve my problems but it makes them easier to deal with,I might find some help on here if I decide to look.

    I feel really low and alone :-(
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