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For those with BPD and their partners
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm sorry if this is posted in the wrong spot. I kept debating where it should go. Feel free to move it at will.
Walking on eggshells. You hear it all the time. Partners of Borderlines have to walk on eggshells. They have to tip toe around us for fear of us blowing up, going crazy, getting overly emotional.
For years we have let our emotions get the better of us. We have pushed people away. We have manipulated them. We have lashed out and sometimes even physically harmed them. These are terrible things. Someday we hopefully all realize that. We start to try to make amends. We may be able to control ourselves most of the time now. We may be able to step back and see the absurdity of our thoughts and actions. However, even when we can get a foothold in reality it is an uneasy step. There are still times when things crumble. There are still times when things get to be too much and for a moment we loose that footing. We fall backward. We get back up and press on but now we end up holding back some of our emotions for fear of them being taken the wrong way. We watch our language and stress our intentions. We tip toe around our partners for fear of them getting defensive, putting up walls, lashing out.
No one ever talks about the time when the Borderlines start walking on eggshells. No one talks about what it feels like for the Borderlines to censor our emotions. Even when things start getting better, partners of Borderlines are still programmed to wait for the attack, the blow up, the explosion. Who can blame them? Nothing has changed in our heads. It all sounds the same, runs the same, spins, races, and constricts the same. How can we expect their perceptions of us to change?
Borderline partners never walk on eggshells. They walk on glass. Their feet get cut. Shards of glass work there way deep under the skin. Some day the glass starts to go away but the scars are still there and our partners still remember the pain. That's when we start walking on eggshells. That's when everything flips and we are taken out of our comfort zone. We start to see what it is like on the other side and we are terrified. But we need to remember, they were already here. They tiptoed. They walked on eggshells. They held back and held in and they did it all for us. So when things get tough remember that they have scars (just like us) and they still hurt (just like us).
Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop
when borderlines start walking on eggshells
For C.J.K. Thank you for the eggshells. I'm sorry.
Walking on eggshells. You hear it all the time. Partners of Borderlines have to walk on eggshells. They have to tip toe around us for fear of us blowing up, going crazy, getting overly emotional.
For years we have let our emotions get the better of us. We have pushed people away. We have manipulated them. We have lashed out and sometimes even physically harmed them. These are terrible things. Someday we hopefully all realize that. We start to try to make amends. We may be able to control ourselves most of the time now. We may be able to step back and see the absurdity of our thoughts and actions. However, even when we can get a foothold in reality it is an uneasy step. There are still times when things crumble. There are still times when things get to be too much and for a moment we loose that footing. We fall backward. We get back up and press on but now we end up holding back some of our emotions for fear of them being taken the wrong way. We watch our language and stress our intentions. We tip toe around our partners for fear of them getting defensive, putting up walls, lashing out.
No one ever talks about the time when the Borderlines start walking on eggshells. No one talks about what it feels like for the Borderlines to censor our emotions. Even when things start getting better, partners of Borderlines are still programmed to wait for the attack, the blow up, the explosion. Who can blame them? Nothing has changed in our heads. It all sounds the same, runs the same, spins, races, and constricts the same. How can we expect their perceptions of us to change?
Borderline partners never walk on eggshells. They walk on glass. Their feet get cut. Shards of glass work there way deep under the skin. Some day the glass starts to go away but the scars are still there and our partners still remember the pain. That's when we start walking on eggshells. That's when everything flips and we are taken out of our comfort zone. We start to see what it is like on the other side and we are terrified. But we need to remember, they were already here. They tiptoed. They walked on eggshells. They held back and held in and they did it all for us. So when things get tough remember that they have scars (just like us) and they still hurt (just like us).
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