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From friends to fuck buddies to nothing. :(
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok, so this is gonna be kinda long...
I'm going to college and my boyfriend of about four months got kicked out of his house. I offered to let him stay with me, so I drove 5 hours to go pick him and drive him back to my place. When I got there he was high---this was the exact reason why he was getting kicked out and it pissed me off to no end, especially since I quit and he got back into smoking pot again.
Ok, fast forward about a month. We've been dating for about five months now and he still hasn't gotten a job. He doesn't pay for groceries, rent, or even electricity. He just sits at my apartment all day and smokes pot; on top of that, he's a huge distraction when it comes to my studies. Neither of us has any friends in my college town, but then he meets these guys that smoke pot, too. I started to hang out with them, too, but then i realized how much I hated myself for smoking. I know I couldn't hang around my boyfriend and his smoking friends anymore. This lead me to hang out with their roommate, whom I'll call "Brian," that didn't do any drugs.
Brian was the first friend I made at college. He was sweet, sensitive, and treated me much better than my boyfriend did. I began to develop a little crush on him, but I decided not to pursue it. Another month went by, and we grew a lot closer. A very long set of events ensured during that month:
1) My boyfriend forced himself on me while we were visited my parents. I knew I wasn't going to stay with him much longer after that.
2) Brian took me on a walk around the university lake, and he told me that he thought that my boyfriend was using me. I admitted to him what my boyfriend did.
3) While Brian was drunk, he asked me if I liked him, and I told him I did. I told me he liked me back.
4) I told Brian that I couldn't be in relationship with him when I broke up with my boyfriend because I didn't want to fall from relationship to relationship. The next night Brian told me he couldn't handle just being friends with me.
5) I broke up with my boyfriend.
With me being single, I had a chance to be with Brian. However, instead of wanting to be in a relationship with me, Brian asked if we could be fuck buddies. It confused me a lot that he asked me this. I really liked him, though, I didn't want to disappoint him, so I said yes.
Me and him started fooling around, but then after a few days he said he didn't feel anything when he was kissing me. He said he felt like he was kissing a friend and nothing else but that he loved doing sexual stuff with me. I was so confused, and I didn't know how to take it. To that point, we hadn't had sex yet, but he seemed so into me. On one occasion, he listed off everything that he loved about me---the way I cuddled up to, the way I jacked him off, the way I was shy about my body. He said he loved all of those but he didn't like kissing me. I told him to think about our relationship, and I hoped he would realize that we should be together.
Two days later Brian texted me and told me that he realized he would never be in a relationship me and never liked me like I liked him. On top of that, he said we should "part ways" and that that text would be the last time he would speak to me. I was so upset, I know I had to talk to him.
When I finally got the chance to see him, he said I was driving him crazy and he didn't want to see or talk to me and that at one point in the future we might be friends again. I was so confused!!
So, now that you know the story, I have a couple of questions:
- After he asked to be fuck buddies with me, he kept bothering me to have sex, but I said no on several occasions. Is this maybe the reason he said I was driving him crazy? He's a virgin, so maybe...
- Do you think he'll ever talk to me again? On occasion his roommates mention my name, and they say he always strays in the room a little bit longer than usual to hear them talk.
- Is there a chance we'll be friends again? Even though I have extremely strong feelings for him, I would give them up in a second to be his friend again. I've tried to tell him this, but I don't think he cares anymore.
- He told me not to talk to him anymore, but he pushed me away so suddenly that I can't help texting him every once in a while. Is this hurting my chances of him ever communicating with me??
Please help. I just want things back to normal.
I'm going to college and my boyfriend of about four months got kicked out of his house. I offered to let him stay with me, so I drove 5 hours to go pick him and drive him back to my place. When I got there he was high---this was the exact reason why he was getting kicked out and it pissed me off to no end, especially since I quit and he got back into smoking pot again.
Ok, fast forward about a month. We've been dating for about five months now and he still hasn't gotten a job. He doesn't pay for groceries, rent, or even electricity. He just sits at my apartment all day and smokes pot; on top of that, he's a huge distraction when it comes to my studies. Neither of us has any friends in my college town, but then he meets these guys that smoke pot, too. I started to hang out with them, too, but then i realized how much I hated myself for smoking. I know I couldn't hang around my boyfriend and his smoking friends anymore. This lead me to hang out with their roommate, whom I'll call "Brian," that didn't do any drugs.
Brian was the first friend I made at college. He was sweet, sensitive, and treated me much better than my boyfriend did. I began to develop a little crush on him, but I decided not to pursue it. Another month went by, and we grew a lot closer. A very long set of events ensured during that month:
1) My boyfriend forced himself on me while we were visited my parents. I knew I wasn't going to stay with him much longer after that.
2) Brian took me on a walk around the university lake, and he told me that he thought that my boyfriend was using me. I admitted to him what my boyfriend did.
3) While Brian was drunk, he asked me if I liked him, and I told him I did. I told me he liked me back.
4) I told Brian that I couldn't be in relationship with him when I broke up with my boyfriend because I didn't want to fall from relationship to relationship. The next night Brian told me he couldn't handle just being friends with me.
5) I broke up with my boyfriend.
With me being single, I had a chance to be with Brian. However, instead of wanting to be in a relationship with me, Brian asked if we could be fuck buddies. It confused me a lot that he asked me this. I really liked him, though, I didn't want to disappoint him, so I said yes.
Me and him started fooling around, but then after a few days he said he didn't feel anything when he was kissing me. He said he felt like he was kissing a friend and nothing else but that he loved doing sexual stuff with me. I was so confused, and I didn't know how to take it. To that point, we hadn't had sex yet, but he seemed so into me. On one occasion, he listed off everything that he loved about me---the way I cuddled up to, the way I jacked him off, the way I was shy about my body. He said he loved all of those but he didn't like kissing me. I told him to think about our relationship, and I hoped he would realize that we should be together.
Two days later Brian texted me and told me that he realized he would never be in a relationship me and never liked me like I liked him. On top of that, he said we should "part ways" and that that text would be the last time he would speak to me. I was so upset, I know I had to talk to him.
When I finally got the chance to see him, he said I was driving him crazy and he didn't want to see or talk to me and that at one point in the future we might be friends again. I was so confused!!
So, now that you know the story, I have a couple of questions:
- After he asked to be fuck buddies with me, he kept bothering me to have sex, but I said no on several occasions. Is this maybe the reason he said I was driving him crazy? He's a virgin, so maybe...
- Do you think he'll ever talk to me again? On occasion his roommates mention my name, and they say he always strays in the room a little bit longer than usual to hear them talk.
- Is there a chance we'll be friends again? Even though I have extremely strong feelings for him, I would give them up in a second to be his friend again. I've tried to tell him this, but I don't think he cares anymore.
- He told me not to talk to him anymore, but he pushed me away so suddenly that I can't help texting him every once in a while. Is this hurting my chances of him ever communicating with me??
Please help. I just want things back to normal.
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Comments
youre better off without either of them. Youre worth more than that.