Home Health & Wellbeing
Need support urgently? Head to this thread.

Need a life change

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello, I'm new here, and looking around this seems like it could be a helpful and friendly bunch.

I've gone through alot in the last 2-3 years and I dunno what to do about it. Everything has happened really.

About 2 years ago I had a car accident, completely my own fault, and I hold my hands up to that. I was in hospital for sometime, and since then it seems like life has spun out of control slowly but surely.

I have no idea what I've done, but it seems like 2 of my so called friends don't like me very much at all. I have no idea where this has come from, but I have seen and read things which have shown them to be very two faced and I don't like it at all.

I haven't changed as a person at all. I'm fairly smart, I have a decent enough job, my own home where I live with my lovely girlfriend.

I just can't for the life of me work out what happened, and its making me feel very paranoid and fearful of my own every move.

Its like all of a sudden they spend so much time analysing my every move, if I forget to tell them something then I'm a secretive so and so... which I'm not, occasionally I get busy and have other things to do. Updating people sometimes takes a backseat.

They have said very derogatory things about my girlfriend, things I wouldn't even mention here, despite the fact neither of them have met her.

I just don't know what to do. I feel like they are looking down on me, because I live in a quiet little town and get on with things and I'm happy with that. Just because I don't live in London, or haven't been travelling like those two, I'm 'unsociable' 'uncultured' and 'unintelligent'.

It wouldl be very easy to come back at them with things, but I don't wanna do that, I don't wanna drop to their level and as far as I consider myself, I'm a nice person. I take pleasure in making other people happy, and when it's not working, like here, and I see such horrible things, it makes me feel down.

How can I correct this issue? Can I really just sort of 'ignore' them and cut them out of my life? We've all known eachother since we were about 5. Have we just grown out of eachother?

I#ve no idea what to do, and I'm thinking of going to see someone to help get life back on track.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Make new friends, ones who you like and treat you well.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've thought of that, but I've hit 27 and not sure how to go about that!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok, well, you don't need to ditch your old friends, just make sure you talk to them a bit less and don't rely on them for emotional happiness. They might say things about you being happy with a nice quiet life but, while they're off chasing happiness, looking for it in different experiences, places, 'culture' - you've got it at home. So, who's happiest really?

    To make new friends, start with the things and people you already know and like. Someone from work to go for a pint with? One of your girlfriend's friends maybe? Does she have a girl friend with a male partner you could pal up with, perhaps go on double dates? Is there anything you're interested in, perhaps try an exercise class- dance, martial arts, whatever?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know what you mean. And I've woken up today in a better frame of mind. I've hit a point where enough is enough and I don't need these people at all. I'm not extending any more olive branches or being walked over.

    I'm not even going to confront them. Sod them, let them get on with their bitching and I'll go on with life as normal. There's plenty I could say about them, but I'm going to rise above that.

    As far as I'm concerned now, they're gone and are history. They'll be ignored and I'll be more than happy with that.

    Just hard when you've been friends for so long, then over the space of two years they can't accept we've all gone in different directions in our lives and are happy with the choices we've made.

    The way I see it now, they're the ones with a problem, not me. A new me from today onwards.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    swalsh wrote: »
    I know what you mean. And I've woken up today in a better frame of mind. I've hit a point where enough is enough and I don't need these people at all. I'm not extending any more olive branches or being walked over.

    I'm not even going to confront them. Sod them, let them get on with their bitching and I'll go on with life as normal. There's plenty I could say about them, but I'm going to rise above that.

    As far as I'm concerned now, they're gone and are history. They'll be ignored and I'll be more than happy with that.

    Just hard when you've been friends for so long, then over the space of two years they can't accept we've all gone in different directions in our lives and are happy with the choices we've made.

    The way I see it now, they're the ones with a problem, not me. A new me from today onwards.


    I think, as you've said, they are the ones with the problem not you! You really find out who your true friends are when big events happen *hug*
Sign In or Register to comment.