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Not everyone will like you
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
what jeopardized the longetivity of my jobs is the great need to be friends with everyone. If I'm short just one person, I go crazy (mental.) I just coiuldn't seem to accept that not everyone will like me and idk how everyone else accepted that not everyone will like them. For instance, back at Wal-Mart, a coworker didn't wanna be friends ne more. I begged and peladed until I got upset w/ another coworker. Then I banged my head against the fitting room pole and got canned for workplace violence.
Then at McD's, someone else didn't wanna be friends ne more. I picked her faults twice and then quit.
Before that, I had quit school bc a classmate didn't wanna be my friend no matter how I begged. Then I totally flipped on everyone and next thing I know, I quit.
My whole life, I beg and give money. Then I raise hell and get into trouble for that. How do I stop this destructive pattern?
Then at McD's, someone else didn't wanna be friends ne more. I picked her faults twice and then quit.
Before that, I had quit school bc a classmate didn't wanna be my friend no matter how I begged. Then I totally flipped on everyone and next thing I know, I quit.
My whole life, I beg and give money. Then I raise hell and get into trouble for that. How do I stop this destructive pattern?
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Comments
Would you recommend a factory reset or a referral to second line support?
I'd ask them to replace my brain. The one I came with seems faulty.
I even screamed at my boss in front of customers at McD"s bc a coworker didn't like me. When I got suspended 2 weeks for that, I blamed that coworker for "making me do it." So mad!
:no:
In my experiance people dont like needy people. Its a drain and a hassle.
Even if you dont mean to be, you probably come off as needy and maybe a little bit of a sycophant?
Work on getting people to respect you as a person (maybe learn to respect yourself as well) and relax a little.
Not everyone can like you, but by acting like this your going to end up cutting down your friends list even more and end up with no one.
Screaming and losing your temper over it is so uncool its unreal.
I wouldnt want to be friends with someone like that in a million years!
I have VERY few friends, around 2/3 and I like it that way, because they are great quality friends :thumb:
If they don't want to be friends with you, other people will, so keep looking around.
:wave:
Thing is, it just happened so fast. After I screamed at my boss, I told her my coworker made me do it and she just refused to buy it. That's y I got 2 week suspension instead of 1. I had no other choice. If my coworker agreed to be my friend like she agreed to be everyone else's friend, I wouldn't have screamed at my boss, who I needed to take it out on. Because my boss won't buy it, I had to bear ALL the responsibility instead of my coworker. She even deleted me from facebook. like wtf.
I ask becuase of your user name. That may well be the cause of this problem if you do.
How do you know stoned_angel isn't an angel made of stone? lol I'm clean I swear.
But back on topic. Like the others have said, you can't expect the everyone you meet to like you, it'll never happen. You need to accept that and move on.
No one can 'make you' scream and shout, start taking some responsibility for your actions. Its called growing up.
There had been several months that I did good at McD's, but during that time, I was only patiently enduring the fact that my coworker don't like me. By the time I started begging her and giving her money, I became a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. Finally, I exploded and screamed at my boss.
How did the 2 other people deal with that coworker not liking them? They worked with her for years and they could bear it. I wish I had that superhuman power.
It's not a good idea to try to force people to like you, some will some won't and if you're seen as being too needy you could alienate yourself from those who are potential good friends. Sometimes it's going to be their problem, sometimes yours or sometimes a combination. Noone is perfect and people have different interests, lifestyles and ambitions which don't always fit together. You can be accommodating, but shouldn't have to completely change your personality to make someone like you. In the majority of cases showing an interest in what someone likes to do, being polite and listening should be enough for them to return civil conversation. Most people are fairly sociable creatures, who are open to the idea of new friendships, but there will always be exceptions. Just try to be yourself and find ways of distancing yourself with those who make you angry and try not to analyse interactions too much.
Thinking about what qualities you like in people eg. open minded, shared interests, considerate, etc should help you sift out those people who are most likely to provide you with quality friendships.
I just hate to think that she liked MOST people. I begged and paid her to be my friend, be a bitch to everyone else, and eventually went in on my days off to stare at that coworker. That coworker reported me to management for harassment and stalking and had another coworker add me to facebook to keep tabs on what I’m doing. Every time I begged and bribed and stared at her, I was asked to leave the building. Because of her, those who did like me initially joined the crowd of those who didn’t, esp after I screamed at my boss.
I think it may be helpful for u to speak to a professional like ur doctor to see if you can get some counselling for why you behave this way and start to cope better. Paying people to be your friend and stalking them will not be something you can continue without consequences. Counselling may help you build your self esteem and deal with ur issues.
I have a question. Does stalking have legal consequences?
What is important here is that you are recognising the fact that you wrongly get angry or "flip" on co-workers that might dislike you. What is also relevant here is that you understand what triggers this anger - the fact that you want everyone to like you.
Dealing with anger can be tough to handle, and going overboard with this anger can become dangerous, as you have explained in your own situations. Anger management is very important in these kind of situations so please have a look at the articles posted here.
Perhaps you would also like to speak to someone about why you might react this way and how to deal with the people who don't like you? It could really help your work life, as well as your social life - to be able to accept that you cannot control what others think or say will make it easier to be around them.
Good luck with this and well done for speaking out, this is what we are here for!
x
Well, I don't flip out on that one coworker who don't like me. I flip out on everyone else BUT her even though they didn't hate me. Quite ironic. I guess I needed an outlet but I keep holding on to the hope that that ONE person will like me.
i'm no expert but i think it can do , otherwise i guess there wouldn't be restraining orders.