If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
If he wants to be only my fuck buddy or someone more?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi guys, don't have anyone trusted to talk about it, and can't really speak with the guy about it now.. too afraid i might lose his friendship 'cause of my suspicions:(
we're meeting since May, lots of sex involved, both very happy&satisfied. But there's more - spending hours in bed on talking, reading, listening to music, playing - just like i had in normal relationships. He wants to meet even when i have period - we're just cuddling all night. The way he's hugging me during the night, everynight alltime - holding as close as possible - even my exfiancee wasn't like that. Then, we're keeping in touch everyday, he phones me just to check if everything's fine and then we're talking and talking... He texts me every few hours, everyday. Buying gifts. Taking for amazing dates.
Now, we have the same taste in food, music, movies, we share same values, interests, activities - whenever we can meet we spend all this time together, just walking around, talking, enjoying every minute. Same sense of humour. I admire his positive attitude and feel just good with him.
it all looks like we are together - but we're not. and sometimes i wish to try, but he said it would stop me continuing career (fair enough, i'll have to move soon to different place), and then that i deserve someone better.
Many times it seemed like he would stop himself. He's trying to keep his cool about me going for dates with different blokes, but then he's texting me all time, checking if i'm fine. He'd say 'go on, have someone new' - but then he's happy when i'm saying i didn't get laid.
And i just don't want to be with anyone else.
He'd talk about my career and how should i progress, but then when i'm starting to talk about my going-away, he's interrupting, getting nervous, changing subject - just doesnt want to hear that i'll be miles away.
And i don't want to be miles away.
now, i told him i'm looking for place to live, and he organised place for us - that was the best surprise ever. so actually, we'll be flatmates. he takes great care of me, even making sure i'm sleeping or eating well.
so i'm pretty much lost. I feel sth for him, i think we could be happy together - but i don't know if he's too afraid to try, or he just doesn't want it at all? should i make first step and show him that i'm ready to try, or keep quiet?
pls tell me, whaddaya think - is there something more here than good fuckfriendship?
probably i'm a bit in love - but i can somehow get over it... i know it...
but - if he may feel for me, then i'd really want to try...
but how to get to know such things...?
we're meeting since May, lots of sex involved, both very happy&satisfied. But there's more - spending hours in bed on talking, reading, listening to music, playing - just like i had in normal relationships. He wants to meet even when i have period - we're just cuddling all night. The way he's hugging me during the night, everynight alltime - holding as close as possible - even my exfiancee wasn't like that. Then, we're keeping in touch everyday, he phones me just to check if everything's fine and then we're talking and talking... He texts me every few hours, everyday. Buying gifts. Taking for amazing dates.
Now, we have the same taste in food, music, movies, we share same values, interests, activities - whenever we can meet we spend all this time together, just walking around, talking, enjoying every minute. Same sense of humour. I admire his positive attitude and feel just good with him.
it all looks like we are together - but we're not. and sometimes i wish to try, but he said it would stop me continuing career (fair enough, i'll have to move soon to different place), and then that i deserve someone better.
Many times it seemed like he would stop himself. He's trying to keep his cool about me going for dates with different blokes, but then he's texting me all time, checking if i'm fine. He'd say 'go on, have someone new' - but then he's happy when i'm saying i didn't get laid.
And i just don't want to be with anyone else.
He'd talk about my career and how should i progress, but then when i'm starting to talk about my going-away, he's interrupting, getting nervous, changing subject - just doesnt want to hear that i'll be miles away.
And i don't want to be miles away.
now, i told him i'm looking for place to live, and he organised place for us - that was the best surprise ever. so actually, we'll be flatmates. he takes great care of me, even making sure i'm sleeping or eating well.
so i'm pretty much lost. I feel sth for him, i think we could be happy together - but i don't know if he's too afraid to try, or he just doesn't want it at all? should i make first step and show him that i'm ready to try, or keep quiet?
pls tell me, whaddaya think - is there something more here than good fuckfriendship?
probably i'm a bit in love - but i can somehow get over it... i know it...
but - if he may feel for me, then i'd really want to try...
but how to get to know such things...?
0
Comments
U need to ask yourself what u are willing to put up with regarding he wants to f*ck u, but does not want a full of relationship, but he does not want u f*cking anyone else!!!
Sounds like he has got u just were HE want u.
Not good i think u need to talk x
i'm very straight forward, so i'd just sit with him and tell what i think and feel - but as far as i learnt from life, honesty sometimes doesn't work..
I tried to decrease a bit role of sex between us, just to check if he'd lose interest - and he didn't, still wants me around. i don't want to play games.
but maybe there is some delicate way of asking, or checking what's with him?
pls, anyone has any idea?
for sure i'm not 1st nor the last with such dilemma
You might end up together and live happily ever after or you might just continue as you are now. Whatever happens at least you'll know.
:yes:
I think hes well into you
It is always a bit tricky to have a relationship based on being a Fuck buddy yet also having the emotional feelings. The way you describe your relationship with him seems much deeper than simply sleeping together. You did say you could not speak to him, however this seems like the best option as the moment, as you cannot properly move forward without knowing where you stand.
Communicate this to him and see his reaction. For all you know he might have been wanting to speak to you as well about this.
You often mention your career as an obstacle for the relationship and that you might be leaving. Perhaps this is also something you both need to discuss before it happens, even though he seems quite dismissive about it.
It is up to you what you feel is right, and it seems like you want more but is afraid to tell him. You are worried you could lose him if you mention this to him, however you could also lose him if you don't say anything. Perhaps it is worth a try?
Good luck
i will meet with him soon and we'll start living 2gether. i'm going to wait few days and see how he is behaving now.
i need that time... 'cause i'm just a human. i know i would be hurt if i tell him that i feel sth, and he say he doesn't. but if he will continue behaving like almost-boyfriend, then soon i speak with him. in gentlest possible way.
christele, you're very right it's tricky, relationships like that were created to make things simple, but people just like to complicate everything:)
thank you so much guys
I think that you are the one sending him mixed signals - going out with other people etc.
So you need to talk...