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To judge and leave, or hang around?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
So, the boy appears to be in something between a little bit of mess and really quite a lot.
About 6 months ago some darling child made an allegation that my other half had touched him inappropriately. So he gets interviewed under caution, house searched, laptop and phone taken away, the works. Then seemingly nothing happens for aaaaaages. He goes back to the police after 3 months as required and they say come back again in another 3 months. That back again has just happened.
Day before he talks to the solicitor, who says police are going to persue something to do with images they've found on his laptop. He reckons he can't think of anything on laptop history that could possibly be child linked apart from cartoons - but then apparently they count the same as pictures.
His day at police station happens, lots more questions etc, apparently most the same as the first time, and it seems like the line they're taking is trying to link anything on his computer thats vaguely similar to the allegation the kid made. Actual focus seems to be more to do with photo type images he's got rather than any cartoons. His version is police are saying that the photos are of 12/13 yr olds, he says he thought/thinks young adult and from sites that say ' all models are over 18 ' type thing. Not being familiar with this kind of website at all I'm slightly blank on it all, and don't really think it's the kind of thing to go googling into!
So, my head is a complete mess. He's been one of my best friends and on off relationship for 5 years. And right now all I want is for someone to give me a big hug and promise everything is all going to be ok and it's all a nasty dream.
I can't work out if I'm being a complete mug and letting him pull the wool over my eyes, or if this is all being built around this daft kid, or if this daft kid is actually telling the truth or what.
Do we think I'm completely barking for not running a mile, or we think I'm being completely evil for having slight doubts?
About 6 months ago some darling child made an allegation that my other half had touched him inappropriately. So he gets interviewed under caution, house searched, laptop and phone taken away, the works. Then seemingly nothing happens for aaaaaages. He goes back to the police after 3 months as required and they say come back again in another 3 months. That back again has just happened.
Day before he talks to the solicitor, who says police are going to persue something to do with images they've found on his laptop. He reckons he can't think of anything on laptop history that could possibly be child linked apart from cartoons - but then apparently they count the same as pictures.
His day at police station happens, lots more questions etc, apparently most the same as the first time, and it seems like the line they're taking is trying to link anything on his computer thats vaguely similar to the allegation the kid made. Actual focus seems to be more to do with photo type images he's got rather than any cartoons. His version is police are saying that the photos are of 12/13 yr olds, he says he thought/thinks young adult and from sites that say ' all models are over 18 ' type thing. Not being familiar with this kind of website at all I'm slightly blank on it all, and don't really think it's the kind of thing to go googling into!
So, my head is a complete mess. He's been one of my best friends and on off relationship for 5 years. And right now all I want is for someone to give me a big hug and promise everything is all going to be ok and it's all a nasty dream.
I can't work out if I'm being a complete mug and letting him pull the wool over my eyes, or if this is all being built around this daft kid, or if this daft kid is actually telling the truth or what.
Do we think I'm completely barking for not running a mile, or we think I'm being completely evil for having slight doubts?
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I get the feeling if I asked him outright, I'd probably get a completely straight answer as to what they're accusing him of. Which will probably happen over the next couple of weeks unless I decide I can't deal with it before then.
In a way, I think I want to see some of the pictures that they're talking about - obvious in many ways I really really don't!
As far as your partner - would you rather stick by him now and finish it later if it comes out he's an unsavoury character or finish it now with the possibility you've dumped an ok kinda guy who just had some pornographic simpsons cartoons in his lappy ? I'm the last person in the world that would sexual abuse a kid, it was done to me for 7 years, and i've got a pornographic simpsons cartoon (was a present).
If it was me. I'd stick with him until he's charged and/or you find out EXACTLY what's on his lappy that the police think is 'child porn'.
Just had a thought. Have you ever seen Family Guy ? Well there's plenty of sexually based images from there and Stewie's a 1 year old. 1 year old in leather gear riding a dog springs to mind. So does that mean if you like Family Guy you're a paedophile ? I think not
He's been one of my best friends for the last 5 years, quite when became more of an item not entirely sure within that, has been a bit vague.
I have indeed seen Family Guy, this is why I'm getting so confused.
Dump him now and he turns out to be a perv - Win
Dump him now and he turns out to be ok -lose
Stick with him and he turns out to be a perv - lose
Stick with him and he turns out to be an ok guy - A great big fucking win
Hugs available, with tea or coffee, South Birmingham
Have you had any contact with the police over this? I'm not sure how the system works, but I wonder if you could ask them to generally describe the kind of images they've found? Then you would get more of a picture without actually having to look.
Even just with the cartoon thing there's a vast range of things it could be, from him having one picture of one of the Simpsons with a raging stiffy or whatever (something quite light-hearted, and like RS said, possibly even sent as a joke), to hundreds of pictures of older characters abusing the younger ones, which even thought obv isn't as bad as actual children being abused, is definitely swaying into the sinister.
I really feel for you, cause I'd find it hard to know what to do, but just because you're sticking by him at the moment doesn't reflect badly on you at all. If you said you'd be on his side no matter what, that'd be different, but at the minute I'm just getting a picture of someone who's not going to abandon ship at the first sniff of trouble. Innocent until proven (or strongly suspected) guilty, I reckon.
*hug*
I've had absolutely no contact with the police whatsoever, despite them taking all of my details from him. Bless him, had to try and remember my date of birth in one of the interviews.
I feel slightly ashamed to say it, but at the moment I'm pretty glad that our friendship/relationship has always been kept pretty quiet around the stuff we do. It started with me not wanting to be the latest bit of gossip when it was very casual and has kind of continued since then. Keeps me a bit more separate though if anything does get out about it, or at least thats what I'm hoping.